for the moment
i will start singing
in the shower
again

your shallow gaze
feasts on my soul
like flies in the murky
summer nights
that you held my hand
as we floated out
into the sea

falling like raindrops
the curved cowries
like a slanted lunar phase
three smile up at me as they land
but the last is buried down as the dead

he loves me not

the way my skin bunches like you’re the cold
under your touch too hard
my flesh an anchor to solitude
how my eyes ache
my lips quiver when i see you
you say my body wants you
but all of it wants to be alone

i was over the moon
you were over the sea

she was love
****** fire
now i’m haunted
by desire

you have drowned my ****** fire
now i'm haunted by your desire
                      are you real?
                                  are you quiet?
                                              are you really "alright"?

you taught me what it means
to be human

fishing wire twined and strangling
his dark fingers
catch the silver bullet of the sea
old stranger wearing white
casting his line and as
he reels it in bows like a wide
sail in the blunt storm
catch the silver bullet of the sea

i think i left myself behind

accept egocentricity
you will never experience true empathy,
only your own narcissistic consciousness

reject imbalances
there is no such thing as happiness on the edge
the horse is only happy out of his stable under clear skies

write neatly,
you have a beautiful mind but will only be rewarded
for popular views

and **** 12
always

come blissful paen, i revere you gloriously
you who sing to the snakes and calm the rages
of disease and artless silence
you who's hair is golden and who
leads nymphian dances through the forests
with your heavenly lyre
and who's words are haloed truths
pallas apollon, my father
my muse and i am his in his creation
i dream of you as the sun blazes
and sunflowers smile
my lord divine

and booming caves
sing like discotheque under
the grey seagulls
an aroma like blood as the waves
shatter my spine
take me under

i would cry you a song
through my loose voice
and broken tone
but i cannot sing
so with a rather unromantic keyboard
stained with ink and post-it glue
i type my feeble poems
to embark along the lonely universe
unheard by caring ears
emotionless fonts
and indifferent words

a laceration in my soul
i am trying to
stitch my wounds closed
to shelter my heart
for a moment
so why are you tearing me apart
all to find a place inside me

cast a spell
from somber pluto
ensnare my heart with
orpheus' lullaby
and drown me
in lethe's
black sea

my thoughts convene
to follow you
the messiah
in their thousands

clamoring;
condemn
me to hell and i
shall suffer, eternally

to mix colors first
the possibility of taking what i know
and obliterating it
for a holocene
a vibrant tabula rasa
forged by my gooey green and yellow fingers
a manifestation in blue

or
whats left of it
is gathered
into a thin stack
of failed
polaroids

anger
black and bold
worms that flash from my eyes
and run down my boiling
cheeks and raw throat
fighting
to keep the roaring tempest in
i say something
whipping off my tongue
that i will regret

he took his boy
down to the water
alone in that salty
white sun
and sat on the washed- up concrete
touching the sand
before bicycles and old ladies
with their flowery dresses and their
tinkling bangles
and wide swaying hips selling
their mangoes from a cardboard sign
and the boy went into the water
blackening his shorts
ribs tight beneath his ebony hide
and ran up against the shore
casting his arm like a shakespearean
bitten fingernails cupping
as his brown hands and scored fingers
dripped with the sharp *** of seaweed
he had brought for his father
with nothing else to do
on the monday afternoon

we went down
with our cold steel tempests
swollen lips screaming
out aggressive effervescence
watching the tide
break the backs of those tendrils
gripping onto the coral heads
and twist them in the dark blue

was happiness
in every broken way

sand grazed my toes
as you came close and hotter than the sunset
and under the moons disguise
took me in a kiss
sweeter than your gin stained breath
and looked at me
with those grizzly bear eyes
and held my gaze

fingernails blackened from scraping in the moss
a soul of blood, dirt, grit and change,
tendrils of Fibonacci, curving ivy in our jewel-veins
lips that have been bitten and blow among reeds
deep in the forest where our feet touch the riverbed
and our heart thunders like the rain.

why do you scare me so much?

strive to fit in no category
to be a fleeting moonbeam
that slips out of the hand
your differences make you unique
and your uniqueness
is your strength

is the enemy of progress

have the force
of a generation

raving eyes and riots
extend ferociously
beaming from your veins
you command a height
you are the universe
experiencing itself
you are war

and peace
coolness and balm
if only you'd allow it

let it settle itself
my little wildfire

sometimes the dove
stands too heavy on the bar
and it shatters
grains falling to the ground
like fast and precious raindrops
to tempt the rats
on the ****-stained earth

don't settle with an aura,
when
we have atmospheres.

with some subtle illumination
i fell in love
with your blue,
raging, roaring, raw
under your skin
ravishing your soul
you didn't have an aura
you had an atmosphere
stirring the air around you
into hurricanes

and the freckle under your right eye
i fell in love with that too

The dust from the sahara
golden as caramel
sugar burnt from the sun and
glazed by the shadow of temples and
jewels and camel's hooves
is in the sky
and the sky is grey here
and my lips are dry

On the lavender sheets
we sat under wood carvings
behind taut-curtained windows
the white paint slightly smeared on the glass
next to a bowl of orange hard candies
sipping the hot,
sugarless earl grey
bitter as the cold
and fell in love

I never write when I'm happy,
rather, to peel the scabs off healing scars
sculpt the pain into calibri and bold
paste my black skin onto the white screen
and wait
for the views to roll in
which i use as validation,
and bandage myself up again

creator's close
and open, blossoming
each petal chose
enclosed
a glistening cathedral expose
the red repose
i dream of the rose

in my subconscious
i wish i could destroy

while lights flashed around her
she was happy in every broken way

destroy me
with your blue petrichor
seep into my eyes
like rain water
thundering hot from above
and your kisses
baptize in cerulean
my bruised lips
soaked from salty ecstasy
I drown
In your anguished blue

it felt like thousands
of red blizzards
were fighting in my throat
and you had replaced my eyes
with ice cubes.

do you think we could
sit in the dewy grass
on your mothers knitted blanket
like we did three
summers ago
with coffee on our tastebuds
and ice between our teeth
because
i would like to have taken a picture
of you in that green shirt
against the blue
of the sky

My dress clinging to my goosebumps
like cold rain on the mountains
as you took my hand,
and said
"let's go jump off the dock"
even though it was late at night
and I was scared of the sharks
and at the end of all of it...
i'm trying so hard to forget you

small strands of cloudy beige
curved like an undulation
crying to be kissed
smelling of washing detergent
above wide caverns, stretching
joyously upwards like bowls
to capture the sound of the thunder
lines, grooved in the sand with a stick
mark where she sees the world
and every small breath
is an earthquake

Biting the skin of your nails until they bleed
And pulling out your eyelashes
until your eyelids bruise
and washing your hands until they crack
and failing, should anything be below 100%

can't i just be good enough?
because good is none of these things.