i hate to hear
the disjointed chugging
of that hot and gurgling *****
pounding below my throat

with its sanguine deliveries
forcing metalled sludge
around my ballooning veins
it batters my senses

be silent
my heart
or be silenced

this morning when i split eggs
and watched the fluids fall into the hot metal pan
to bask in butter and oils and salt
two yolks drew clean of the shell, two smiling suns

and i wondered if this was a thing of luck
or a ghastly mutation
two unborn twins of an avian persuasion
about to go down my gullet

i suppose it is up for interpretation
the proverbial double yolk
two lives lost could nourish
the one i occupy, until i break and bellow
like that eggshell

the smell of cigarettes
can be gone with a shower
some of my whitening toothpaste
gone forever

tattoos, they have permanence
that an electric laser
can etch away with ease

how to do I rid myself of you
if the only answer is time
the only resource I need
and im running out

sound like nicotine
water etching against the bathtub
blood soap and porcelain
ice in the cavities of my heart
eventualities we left far behind
with the endless supply of could-have
and some songs sound like you

and they taste like honeyed ***
thats been tasted too long
like brain freeze i can’t stop replaying
because this sound
nicotine and you
is more addictive
than a burning cigarette

she fell in love with the voices on her silver screen
their hollow pixels and their whirring noise
close in her heart, but miles away
like a dead thing
a broken girl

clattering in the kitchen
cutlery clinks as fingers angrily arrange them
knives and forks
her voice more pointed
ranting to father
just loud enough that the words slip through the cracked
bedroom door that i'm not allowed to close.
mother.
**** talking me again

six months clean
sober from that driving knife
i have endured storms
i have endured hurricaines
without a thought of that ****** blade

- not today
and all for a raindrop
my sky comes falling