My dress clinging to my goosebumps
like cold rain on the mountains
as you took my hand,
and said
"let's go jump off the dock"
even though it was late at night
and I was scared of the sharks
and at the end of all of it...
i'm trying so hard to forget you

small strands of cloudy beige
curved like an undulation
crying to be kissed
smelling of washing detergent
above wide caverns, stretching
joyously upwards like bowls
to capture the sound of the thunder
lines, grooved in the sand with a stick
mark where she sees the world
and every small breath
is an earthquake

Biting the skin of your nails until they bleed
And pulling out your eyelashes
until your eyelids bruise
and washing your hands until they crack
and failing, should anything be below 100%

can't i just be good enough?
because good is none of these things.

I start running, and look behind me. He's there.
I'm a total stranger to him
No.
He's looking in my eyes right now
He wants to reach out
He sees me crying
and he smiles at me
Until we reach the altar
We're in love

The cotton of tender sleep
stings as it is pulled from my eyelids
warm, dry breath,
my head hurts, looking to the ceiling
she's in my room.
Mother.
She couldn't sleep again.

When I saw you on the beach
chest puffed and shoulders wide
like a soldier, booming
and fighting off the tide
I was screaming with a vigour
I need you by my side
salt stained and blue eyed