As the sun rises, I think of her
Of the joy of sunrises to come
Filled with ever more light
As our memories grow

Her warmth lingers in my core
Like a warm cup of cider on my lips
Traveling down my neck until she infuses my center
Warming my heart even now

The beauty of her voice
As she speaks honey and insight
Throws sparks across my heart and mind
Until I am alight with love and life

We melt in eachother's arms
Each touch, she glows brighter
Until our intertwined bodies
Are a puddle of starlight

And our memories grow ever brighter
For all the sunrises to come

New growth sprouts in my garden
Lit by the twinkling starlight
Watered by care and patience
Fertilized by vulnerability

Who knows what might grow
Now that the briarpatch is gone?
What new plants might take root
In this precious loam?

I can't know what will grow
But Thalia whispers of abundance
In many harvests yet unseen

I want to weave the starlight,
To manifest the stuff of dreams.
To make something that is mine and worthwhile.
To be something that is mine and worthwhile.

How can it feel like I have done nothing but toil
Yet all I have was freely given?
How can I have exhausted myself
Yet have only gifts in my hands?

I have given everything
But built nothing that still stands
A firmament held up
By pillars of void and sand

I am blessed
I am cursed
I am blessed

I have built nothing but a trail of pyres.
Yet, I live in abundance.
Am I a goddess of fire after all, not the blessed Thalia?

A Ram in fish's clothing
Unfit to build or plant
Yet living with the built
And thriving among the planted

Needing
Bleeding
Unaccomplished
And Loved

What more could I even hope for
As master of the lit match in flight.

I have never shot for the stars before
For fear of missing everything
But now I find the stars in my hand
And think that aiming high might be more than asking for failure

I have rarely dug too deeply before
For fear of missing the best cavern
But now I find that I missed more
By traveling so shallowly

I never swam so freely before
Suffocating in the air of a million poolsides and beaches
I never knew how deep joy could run
Until I tested the depth of water with both feet

When I finally let go I found
I have as many shots as there are stars
I can travel deeply in many caves without scarcity
I can breathe better in the water than I ever did on land

When I finally let go, I found
That there is truer safety in reckless abandon
Than can ever be found within solitary caution

Why does my body remember the flash of lightning
But wants to forget the devastation of the storm?
Holding on white-knuckled to the loss
Of the thing I broke free from

My heart is an optimist's
Distorted by the lie that what I had was all I deserved
Twisted by loneliness and a desire for good
It glossed over that it was bad, and I was still lonely

The lit match was me swimming up from a ship sunk long ago
Finding a life raft floating up above
But my grip keeps shaking in fear
Of what holding on too tight would mean

And my heart goes back to the lie, to the storm, to the shipwreck
Fear rules more of me than I will ever accept.
But I will never go back, even if fear manifests and I end up treading water alone
If all else fails, I will cling to the driftwood knowledge that it is more important for me to be with my true self than with anyone else

The voice inside says I'm not a swimmer, but
You also said I wasn't a mountain climber

No one will see your pain
No one will look at your broken heart
Everyone finds your stain
Even to insult you, everyone is alert.

People don't honor your dignity
They respect your money like a boss
If you have no power in the society
Then everyone will use you like a toss.

Your family won't judge your wisdom
if you are responsible for everything
When you race your hope and dream
Others wouldn't keep patient with you.

Some of your friends will run away
when you are in such a tough time
You will get them back someday,
when you are having a good time.

Take it easy, often it happens in life
Find yourself in a place where you are perfect
and focus on your dreams without any strife
One day you'll get success because you are right!

There are too many midnights
Until the next morning.