red
     red
          red
drips



down.


and i am alone again
with elegant designs
all over my arm
a reminder of the mess
that i have caused
a reminder of the pain
that is my fault
a reminder that i
am terribly
depressed
disappointed
and lonely
no matter how hard i
try

i find hearts
and i sneak inside
doesn't matter who they belong to.
in the quiet
i lie in wait
of a man
who i can breathe in--
i don't care who he belongs to.
i smile my secret smile
and i beckon them in
one by one--
no matter who they belong to.
i whisper from afar
declarations of love
tempting them, pressing them
doesn't matter who they belong to
in the quiet
i sit and bleed
names run red across my arm
i don't care who they belong to
i don't learn lessons
i don't remember mistakes
just keep on pushing ahead
i don't care that they belong to
people.
people with feelings
people who are not me
and then i realize
that i hope one day
i outgrow my psychopathic ways
and i remember who they belong to
but at the same time
as i sit here
in the quiet
waiting for
my turn
i wonder...
who do i belong to?

.














































                          "I'm sorry. I love you."








































.

know me:
(i am myself amongst you)
i am the root of light;
i am the light where roots dare not tread to pass.

i was not meant to run
through fire or hold
stars in my hands, but
my fingers are calloused
from trying.