ever since we started
doing whatever this is,
I have been singing
in the kitchen,
I have been playing
happy songs too loudly,
I have been getting
out of bed with a smile.
your touch is electrifying
and my god, how I miss you
whenever you're not around.
I can't stand being away from you,
I hate not kissing you
and all the time not spent
in the proximity of your lips
is wasted.

i don't really need anyone else
only him
his hands holding mine
his lips against my cheek
his arms around my waist

I don't really care for anyone else
only him
his hopes
his dreams
his feelings
his love

why is he so far?
why is he so sad?

I love him
it's unfair

there is something
moving about being
replaced by flowers.

The whiskey tickles my tongue
as I think of you and where
you are, but then again
I dont really care

I dont think I will ever care
because I think I always
loved the thought of you more
than I ever actually loved you

But there is another now
whom I adore from head to toe.
One day you will look back
and realise you were wrong

One day you will see me smile
and realise it isn't for you.
That is when your world will crash
just like mine had so many times

*djm

I may never forget that white shirt
or those late nights we spent together
I know I can never erase the phone calls and the promises
I cannot delete the number 2330 from my brain
and I cannot act like I never loved you.
Even when you spoke of leaving I wanted you to stay
and I may of been foolish and blind
but I loved you more than anyone has loved someone
since the beginning of time.
I hope you're happy and I wish you were here
because then things
could have
would have
and should have
turned out differently for us.
Every night I want to call you and make sure you're still breathing
after all this.
I know you said you loved me that very last day
and I've found all the undertones in those messages I've saved
because you were the most beautiful person to me
and sometimes you still are.
So I'll still love you more than I hate the miles and I'll still worry about
how fast you drive
but I will love you differently, otherwise I won't survive.

Too many deep breaths
feels like desperation
You bleed through other people
you're an expert on salvation
The horizon of your hips
is by far my favorite mystery
Temptation told me tales of
our impossible history
it just hit me
you don't mind sunrise
because morning aren't
saturated, stained with goodbyes
I want to know your
when, how and why's
Where your worries go
at the end of the night
Then I could take your misunderstanding
as love
Because it can't be understood
so much as coveted
and
There's something in my past
that makes my head not grasp
why I ended up surrounded
by a world of destructed evolution
You can be my problem
I've had enough solutions
Too many left and forgotten
Too many ways to get lost
I may not be whole again
tangled in your fantasy
So captured in my abandon.

straight to the brain
banging on ear drums
and seeping into every
inch of my being

my soul is dancing
closer than arm's length
to your melody

that signature sound
of your foreign tongue
sends shivers down my spine
&
i don't understand
but i feel
and feel
and feel

the language of love
and your language is love
and love is honesty
and now we're being honest
and i could live in that minute, honestly,
and listen forever
and i drink too much
and i care too little about important things
and i should listen to more jazz
i should treat people better
& for the second time ever
it snowed in the desert
on a hunter s. Thompson book
& it just made me sleepy
lines went by and i just melted into the bed

but it was nothing like how
i'm melting right now