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ashley 7d
?
As I sit here, all I can feel is
a hole in my heart
ashley Feb 3
us
The things I'm supposed to say, I said them. For you to understand is enough for me. my biggest regret is that your regret has to do with me. We are like a long story that wasn't finished. and I'm still wondering and wondering what the happy ending would look like. what can I do now? I just, just miss you so much. Its like waves that keep on slapping me, I'm fine for a while and then suddenly, my heart hurts. All I want is for you to be my man. I just wanna call you and talk about our day. It's not that I'm busy its that I'm scared, do you really think I don't have time? Compared to before, I understand you a lot better now, I grew up and I just want to make your life easier and make you smile. I thought about how I wanted to become your pride, I wanted you to be proud of me. There are just some mistakes that I can't fix and as soon as I think about the past I regret it. You put so much effort into everything for me but me, puffff, I didn't care. All the words that hurt you, I want to take them all back. With you, I was so happy but you said that the more time you spent with me, the sadder you felt. I know this sounds crazy, but I really just want you back in my arms.No matter where you are, as long as you want me back in your life, I'll be there.
You don't understand how I feel
ashley Feb 2
Sweetheart, you look a little tired
When did you last eat?
Come in and make yourself right at home
Stay as long as you need
Tell me, is something wrong?
If something's wrong you can count on me
You know I'll take my heart clean apart
If it helps yours beat
It's okay if you can't find the words
Let me take your coat and this weight off of your shoulders
It's okay if you can't catch your breath
You can take the oxygen straight out of my own chest
I know exactly how your rule goes
Put my mask on first
No, I don't want to talk about myself
Tell me where it hurts
I just want to build you up, build you up
'Til you're good as new
And maybe one day, I'll get around
To fixing myself, too
I don't even know where to start
Already tired of trying to recall when it all fell apart
I just want to love you, to love you, to love you, and
I just want to learn how to somehow be loved myself.
What's sad is that I know no one will love me like this
ashley Feb 1
Take a deep breath,
1..2..3..
This was the moment, you were going to tell your best friends about your cuts. Your hearts pounding and your throat is closing in - you can't breathe.
Oh boy here goes nothing ...

you spill it all out, they're shocked. They didn't see it coming. They comfort you and tell you it's going to be all right. Is it? Is it really going to be all right?  

You have sports after school but you don't want to take off your sweater- you don't want people to see. Your coach asks you to take off your sweater and you have too.  

Okay, deep breaths and count your heartbeats

1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6..

you take it off and your friend sees. and tells you to talk to her after practice.

smh, I'm not going.
daily problems
ashley Jan 22
You told me to block you.
to block you forever.
forever.
what is forever?
But I did end up blocking you
ashley Jan 22
I'm anorexic. Anorexic. what does that mean? well, I don't know, ask my doctor. No matter what I don't know, I know one thing for sure. I miss you
I hope you find this one day

— The End —