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I hide behind a guileless face; shameful.
I can't stand to see what lies inside.
You dredge up everything I've kept buried away.
All my secrets, my fears, my shattered dreams.
I'm always caught between the anger and apathy.
What is it that you want from me?
You, with your faithless eyes and ***** lies.
Forever building me up just to watch me fall,
Giving me everything, only to ****** it away.
At the end of the day, you're no savior.

But I refuse to break.
Not about a specific person per se, more like a mash up about everyone who's been bringing me down lately.
All alone in a darkened room, I continue to wait,
Silent and still, minutes and hours ticking away.
Wishing for the pain and tears to dissipate.
But they don't.
No matter how fervently I pray.

Grief, separation and loss echo my empty soul,
Words forever ringing hollow and dry.
My world now meaningless, an inescapable black hole.
The numbness always haunting me, it will never die.

Restless nights, never able to peacefully sleep,
The worst of the memories invade my dreams.
The anger and despair lock me away inside their keep,
I'll never feel anymore than this it seems.

I cannot continue to run,
Everyone will lose someone someday.
In no way am I the only one.

But because time will never lend,
Nobody ever stays in the end.
Marooned

Vapid beauty of this room
Frothing carpet, ocean blue
One wall me, the other you
What lies between is residue

Scribed on soggy, shipwrecked parchment
Questions asked, time forgotten
Who are we?
What do we know?
Into these questions Summer flows
And thrashes at your Autumn’s brinks
Yearlong they torment my brain
Infringing on every season

If not for the manic scheme
To love and having loved be loved
This correspondence to a distant land
With stars, more numerous and brightly lit
Than my burgeoning highway exit
Would by no means have left my hand

But if, against all odds, it will prevail
Extolling truth’s folly, my sorrowful tale
Quells with reason my groundless pride
At having docked on your passionless harbor
Unloading platonic cargo during our youth’s ebbing tide
Must not create union of body or mind
You swallow my horizon, like the sun twilight
Though, one need not chase that orange orb for tomorrow

In this night without fortitude, lewd humor consumes me
Singing with the mouth on my head and your voice inside
I plunge into darkness
Skimming its silky surface
Before zipping it behind me

Shall I drown, as I have lived?
In vain, my dreams your subjects
Taken for ransom in your heart’s Tripoli
Not surmising recompense, I forfeit this
A note belying resonance
Of my heart’s last echoed throe
One desperate effort, giving up
Feed every vestige to the void
Wading, torso encumbered
Each sullen relic of your memory
Falls to the deep’s frigid ebony
Then, only too late am I cognizant
That my own breath is tribute yet spent
Therefore if I were to float or swim
I’d give you every ounce of who I am
Convince you to relinquish me
From your tepid, spurning sea
Then lying beneath moist underbrush
Slowly, breathe no more
MMX

This is basically a revision of my poem Anstoss

My recitation here:
http://youtu.be/v7LdsUwUCEM
Fear is the razors edge pushing into a vein,
Making tears fall like bitter rain.
Attaching to every thought,
Seeding doubt within every action,
Or regret with every word spoken.

Over-thinking, and contemplating
That the worst is forever inevitable.
Inescapable, a hellish prison indeed.

Insecurities come flooding through,
Rushing like a wild river rapid.
It shatters confidence and plagues the mind,
Relentlessly gnawing at the intestines.
The festering infection spreading
Turning into a disease with no cure,
Leaving the hapless victim broken and unsure.

— The End —