I am trapped between the metal walls in my head
I am fettered to the mattress on my rickety bed
I am stuck between the want to fall behind or get ahead
I am the skin I hate, the skin I love -
the skin I shed

Who is normal?
I've never met them in my life
Can I get a warning?
Before they decide to stop by-
Hold your head up high
In a world so dry

I ride my ego
All the way to the top
The elevator
Breaks down and stops
Should I step in or step out?
Will we always go round?

So call me resourceful
Nobody forced you
And I know it's hurtful
But nobody forced you

Who is calling?
So late on my phone
It is appalling
To hear your voice alone
You speak to me
You're so **** cautious
And your words they
Make me nauseous

Love is ending
Love is not gold
it does not shine
It cannot be sold
But it is a resource
I can use
And it is something
I abused

I stopped addiction in its tracks
And down the railroad it ran back
To creep behind and burden me
Things I thought I buried deep

Imperfect I now see I am
Faithless and without a plan
Normal like a human being
Full of a familiar feeling

Impeccable I wish to be
Flawless to all eyes that see
Sculpted like a work of art
Standing in this trailer park

What are dreams I can't fulfill
Pushed off from the window sill
Here I pull from life's small till
To supply the pleasure to my brain

Dopamine you ****** fiend
I'd love to **** you, watch you bleed
But without you I'd know no love
And with no love there is not one

They blink like diamonds in the treetops
Shining lights of life through the canopy of darkness
Dancing like kindred spirits

This poem will not adhere to your rules- so I won't make it rhyme
                         there will be no cadence
Or StRuCtuRe either                                 yoUr   poeam might be pretty
                                                    yOur poEm might be wise
         bUt no one thinks that this is a poem
it is a poem in disguise.

Is it possible to hate someone
Who has done you no wrong?

Only if it is possible to love someone
Who has done you no right.

The EL train howls through the avenue
Autos move slow through slush
Trudging about I think of you
Thoughts flow, my mouth hush

And even through this cold air,
I can't stop my feet from going on
It's as if I am without a care,
When Chicago has me in her arms