i feel that in some places
physical apologies only
make things worse, and
for all the times I tried you
always dismissively waved
your hand and shook your
head, pacifying me with a
simple smile, no, Brooke,
this was my fault.

But the truth is, I'm at fault
too, so one day I hope you
don't look back on me
in dismay, somehow find it in
your heart to forgive me for the
way I am or was. Because love
does not boast the way I did or
refuse an embrace from someone
so confused.

(And although this
wheat field is grand and seemingly
endless I'm thankful to run through
again and again if it meant learning
more from you)

I don't fight with forthgiant
little you, deft little you.

I find myself apologizing for the
music that I like and the way I talk,
letting people know that I say one
hundred wrong and I'm constantly
saying words with the wrong tone
apparently I say theater like an old
man and I'm sorry that I don't know
a lot about the pixies I can't fix these
little things about me. I will never know
more about john frusciante or IGN, I'll
never look into video games on my own
whim

I'm so tired of putting my radio
away and being afraid, that if
I play my music everyone will
walk away. That I have to make
the rhyme obvious to see, that I
have to split these paragraphs to
make it more easy. That I have
to censor everything I say, that
I have to stoop to a level that was
never easy to reach. I thought things
that were higher were the standards
to vie for but bending down is a task
i have fight for.