I watched green smoke to black
Ribbons of sensual silver-edged good morning
Snaking above me
A canopy of feel-me-up pheromones
Hazy
You watched, dripping, shower rod framed
As my frame did the same
Please, don't ask for a towel
Let's leave these sheets with the print of our bodies

That heavy, thick feeling left under your eyelids
After a rough night of drinking
Groggy.
Unable to focus on the thin curve of your snarled mouth
As you drone on and on about regulations
******* of a ***** boss with no brains
His whining voice grating along my nerve endings
How can I be proud of a sell out?
Scrubbing your floors, washing your windows
Attempting to look a little less greasy in a ******* grease shop
The incessant busy buzzing of their corporate mindset bores me to tears
I would rather gauge out my eyes
Set them on fire, then **** on them to put them out
Before I would ever kiss your *** again
My uniform always smells like hot asfault
Simmering in the noon day sun
I am weighed and measured by my performance
Dancing upon a mechanical stage with barrings and wrench to accompany
Each day I need another hit just to curb my urge to massacre
All. Of. Them.
I am only free in the night when shadows linger
Taking me away with swirling words into the vortex of the unknown

I am italicized*


We sing and we simmer
Our cosmic tumble tune
Hardly yet wholly
A place without room
Stardust dancing along side our gate
Black hole chancing just beyond our escape

If that gate can be an escape
An entrance to the unknown world
Fistful of stardust
Blow it to the wind
Let the wind be our guide
Beyond the canvas of our life
Our imagination captured beyond the horizon

Sunset washes the day clean
Brilliant peach orange blaze
Still left wondering what this all means
I am connected to you
As I am to this tree
Whole and in pieces
Full picture you see
The circle comes round
We dance to it's beat
Evolving masterpieces
Rarely repleat
Fingertips touching
Secrets yielded to soft sigh
Hoping with sore hearts
You'll always feel this high

In the circle of eternity
The known rhythm is back
In concentric circles
Frenzied steps
Spark that kindles two hearts
Blazing through the night sky
Touch of freedom
Paints the encircled world
Hearts healed with magic potion
Trust emboldens the souls
To soar higher and higher
It’s an eternity
Now, the saga shall continue

You may not know me
You may know me a little more than you'd like
Sometimes even I do
A few things upon first meeting
You will notice
I have intense eye contact
I laugh easily
I was aptly named, babbling
You will walk away thinking
Smiling softly to yourself
"That girl channels joy."
I hope to leave every life I touch that way, full of hope
Come soak up the remains
You may never have to know of the scars beneath
I do my best to hide them
Often failing
Pleasure is universal
Spread the love
But pain...pain is private
My ***** laundry
Perhaps I never learned how to numb it
**Pain is only relevant if it still hurts

Sun rises, creamsicle smooth over high peaks*

I come alive again at day break
Dark hours of 3am once held tightly
To the silky slide of my dreaming mind

He used to be more aware
Vision peripheral instead of pinpointed
More real
More free
He remembers what choice tasted like
As he rolled each opened ended one across his kaleidoscope tongue
He knew this would drown him before he could breathe again
His heart lines had turned to dust
Blowing gently into the visceral wind of his malady
This left him misguided
Every hand through his
Fingers entwined
Became collateral in this new war he did not know how to fight
All encouragement fell on his now deaf ears
All he could hear was the weighted hum
Of personal failure
Another day spent in bed past noon
Joints moaning in protest when pushed to function
He would pull himself together
Sew the chasms and fizzures close
**If only he could make that choice

Soaking up the sweet, slow shine of summer
Basking in June's warm day glow
You remind me of innocence
Times long passed when I did not know the ache of loss
I find myself feeling guilty for loving you
Being happy
Even though I know the gone would wish it for us
I breathe you in my tie dyed lover
A vast array of rainbow hued passion
Spilt across my peaches and cream canvas
You go down easy like sweet wine berry wine
Late July before us twanging on mountain top strings
I'll be here while you sleep softly
Guarding a back that always has mine

Kung fu tutu is on the daily
Never taking this off
Kicking *** and taking names
******* alert goggles equipped
You'll need to learn Aramaic
To read these tomes honey
Left you at the START line
Muttering "Woe is me"
While circling the cage of your grave
Reaching full potential
Occurred constantly in thought
Yet your actions or lack there of fell dismally short
Peers, reserve your pity
For he was led by example
Those whom he chose to surround
Also lacked luster
While those brave few who shone
Grew brighter
I used to think he was a rough edged diamond
I realize now, all along, he was *dust

I would breathe deep of midnight
If only to drown in the blaze of your dawn

Swimming amongst the stars tonight
Head drifting through the clouds
Memories of sun and summer
Kiss softly at my wintery edges
A small impatient smile widens
Into one of pure anticipation
I can almost smell the green of spring
Entwined with falling snow's perfume
I miss you
Whispered only for the ears of fireflies
Their minuscule heartbeats precious
Lighting up miles of darkness with their love
Inspiring us all to race into the woods
Igniting a wildfire of our own

Tangled and mangled
Earth's once pliable green skeleton
Is now just twisted cold steel bones
Reflecting our chemically induced ego trip
Into the heaven's judging eyes
I am no mechanic but I do engineer
We cannot go on like this forever
Crippling muscle and thoughts ability to bend
Until we can do naught but fracture and break
Where is the drawn line?
Must have used chalk
Must have washed away in one of those bailout floods
Politicians always have a boat waiting for them
Smacking civilian heads as they paddle along
But their blind eyes will not be shown mercy
From the ravaging wild fire they started
Only those of us who can swim will be safe

My usual suspects have flown north for the summer
Houses packed up and driven away
The pool house is empty
The concrete dry
Beach umbrellas stand closed and unused
Dreaming of sandy Saturday's soaking up the sun
Postcards come from Canada
The Alaskan snowdrifts also still beautiful and cold
At night my mind wanders to Russian wilderness
Wolf cries and full, silvery moons beckon
Desperate for the wintery breath of time across numb fingers
I wake aching with knowledge
Frost bitten ******* clinging softly to the edges of my now waking mind
Bright sun greets me
Warming my thoughts and skin
Floating aimlessly in tepid chlorine, hostile, alone
Entertaining ideas of motivation
Until I can resist no longer, give in
Letting sleep and dreams of blizzards take me once more

Colour of a blue eyed newborn's
Iris sneaking itself through
Marshmellow clouds lined
With pink mother-of-pearl
And my admiration.
I want to touch everything.
I work with my hands.
I can build whatever you need,
And am the best tickler
South of the Arctic.
I want to put my fingers through
Anything beautiful I see.
Always looking;
Wanting to touch.
                              
That which begs to be touched
My mind caressing tree limbs
Breathing in celestial counterparts
To weave through this new configuration
Third eye open
Stumbled upon fathomless depths
Unknown
Wide brimmed, wide eyed
Don't sleep, don't sleep
So much yet to soak up
To taste


That which begs to be tasted.
Skin, warm with wanting,
Wet with relief and
Passing contentment.
Lips that uttered
Curses now kiss soft
Fingertips tracing
More love than
Love has ever had.
All is new
To the reborn.
Here are my hands.
They see through me,
Look into you, and rest
Upon the centre of your
Innermost centermost.
An umbilical between
Godess and
Man.
I smile mouthfulls
Of everything.


Hopeful, hope filled
The silver edge to this cloud
Dropping rainbow 3pm's to halo
Around my grinning skull
I am simple in my sobriety
Chrystal cut clear in winter yearning
Seeing the forest finally for the trees
These wonders reaching down out of the darkness
Shedding light on this pale, pale mourning
Nerve tips trace along your dips and curves
Memorizing
Mesmerized

And that baby-eye blue
Is now a full grown heaven
Full of sweet nothings
And nobodys,
Holding only such ideas as
Void and timelessness
In its handless hands.
I watch it with you; arm
Around your doll waist,
Shoulder against your
Head.
It's a new day.
A new, beautiful day.
A new, beautiful, hopeful
Day for us both.
Pots of gold on either end
Of this unimaginary
Rainbow.

Houston woke up early. Yawning. A cigarette away from just packing his meager possessions and leaving everything this dusty room did not have to offer. A spark of zippo flame had his lungs drowning in chemical filth. Sometimes it felt good to get *****. Often enough now that he had forgotten what it felt like to be clean. The yellowed pages of his favorite books stared back at him in a mismanaged pile on his writing desk. What few thoughts he had managed to scripple out kept them company on crumpled napkins and ink stained pages.The sheets a sweaty twist around his pale form. He knew something had to give or he really was going to go over to Silvia's to just "talk" but do what he had been thinking about more often of late and  drown her in the kitchen  sink sloshing over with ***** dish water she never drained. Gods but that woman drove him crazy. The clanging of glass every time he took a step a testament to those emotions. All he could do to cope with the damage she had wrought was lose himself in a bottle. Any bottle would suffice but his favorite was spiced ***. It used to burn going down but they had gotten so used to each other it was like old people having *** with the added bonus of actually reaching fulfillment.  The company he had kept last night lay sadly on it's side next to his worn mattress. It's cap somewhere in the wreckage of Houston's hundred dollar a month room. He looked down at it and sighed, picking up the neck and now stale sips left in the bottom. He knew that this one swallow would only stoke the flames of his desire for more yet he could not help himself. Autopilot had taken control weeks ago. The glass on his lips was comforting but the not enough taste left on his tongue was sour. Today. Cracking of his spine echoed as he stretched. Today he was going to get revenge.

I project iron, steel
Yet as I've grown older
I have become more like gold
Soft, malleable
Not yet familiar with my vulnerability
I seem to consistently find a way to let you wound
My door is always open
Perhaps I should lock it shut
Become a hermit for a time
Until you find a way to be more gentle

You have found a way inside
Like Virginia creeper climbing walls of stone
Only to find a crack in the foundation
That allows a taste of the unknown
Uncountable words drip from honeyed lips
Knowing that my sweet tooth
Has been sorely neglected
I fall
Hard
Grasping onto your nimble vines
Lengths that bind us
Piece by piece
I could pull on your roots to no avail
Anchored deep as the gravity between star and planet
It would take a meteor the size of our fair moon
To remove me from your embrace

Steampunk grind me down kind of heart
Pulsing static cling through bones that ache and groan
Coming alive again, the feeling of awake
I pull cobweb crochet hand-me-downs from eyes that even still find the light too cumbersome
Squint, pull the rusted hood back over and sleep once more
The struggle is real
Mind like a coal factory belching dust and debris
Keep shoveling, shoveling until it rages into an inferno
Only then will it not stay quiet
No found fuel has yet to ease this hunger for something...more
Lost amongst wave after wave of heat, knocking me down
Slipped grip fingers and toes gone haywire
Workers on strike

By Brook Ilges and Sverre G Holter*

Smoke. Spark. Ignite.
Fire burning down these veins of paper machè
I watch as pieces of me drift off with you into the night
Your voice carries over the mountains
Calling me out into the shadows
At peace with my undoing
Aching for a touch
A moment in the light
You are pure sunshine
Melting the iced cavities that surround my castle
Defenses 20 feet deep
Ready for this battle
Walls fall
Your voice still calls
            **
I was destined to lose you, even
Before I saw your face.
There are too few years in a man's life
For me to swim, to walk to you.
Before I ever even spoke to you,
You were perfect for me. But
Not for forever.
I don't even know
You now.
I see you behind your stronghold.
There never was a stone that could
Keep me out of your
Warmth, little girl.
I'll sing until you dance.
I'll whisper until you come.
I'll keep one arm of my mind on your
Person while you sleep and
I don't.
I've known you for aeons.
I have held your soul with mine for
Astral hours every night
Since we were
Born.
Such I call. As such I call,
Until your walls
Can hold nothing,
And crumble unto
Me an entrance.
*I can smell your sweet
Soul, woman...

She's got heavy rain boots stomping
Silk pagado parasol soaking up the shadows
Leaving all her hard angles edged in mist
Behind her black sunglasses you see no sorrow in her eyes
As her pouting lips wrap around a good bye
She's a walk away with a heart full of metal
Twisted and rusted, she'll ruin you too
Midwestern skies always seem to be teary
A day and a night  suffocating under the bleak drowned and dreary
Tomorrow won't feel a thing like Thursday
Blues filtered underwater dreams of escape
Trapped in here
Trapped in here with every dark desire
Eating through her iron heart
Steel ribcage cannot protect from corrosion
Wasting precious time searching for an end
When all she had to do was start to begin

I am a whisky drinker
A moonshine slinker
I've got banjos on the brain
Unwilling to share my name
Soft and subtle with no E
Talking your ear off skillfully
Stopping to share bread with those on the road
Spreading sunshine and laughter wherever I go
Our paths will cross, I hope so indeed
May we share a jar and a story or three
Hugs are given with heartfelt intent
I hope you never know a cold winter spent
Without the hope of the warmth to come
If you need a reason I'll give you some

Cigarette drag
Exhale
What am I doing here?
Smoke clouds waft gently around me
Twitch
Haven't felt right in months
Sleep. Wake. Stare. Sleep. Wake. Stare.
What day is it?
Gods, my head keeps pounding
Coffee sits half drank on the counter
Focusing on witty magnet sayings
Last night I had company
Raw. Visceral. Open.
Things went a little far
With you they usually do
Mostly due to boredom
You come to break the monotony
Bleed a little
Still asleep
Never said the safe word
Pineapple
Though you should have
Obsessed with making you beg for it in a tortured moan
Against my flushed skin
My kind of love can slip too deep
Don't fall for me
Poison
Addicted to the echos of your name on window panes
Evening light is still too harsh
Splash some water, deluge
Keep breathing.
Blood stains eventually fade.

An empty room seared into memory
It once held your breathless form
I listened to that heart go silent
Crying wet, hiccuping tears onto your heated skin
I cleaned you up, kept you warm
Tried desperately hard to shut your eyes
Knowing that you would never smile with them again
I cannot say for sure if you heard us
Your father breaking down through the speaker
Mitchell, your best friend, sobbing through the phone
I held each call gently, wishing not to cause you more pain
My voice softly singing the song we danced to at our wedding
The stark, violent feeling of your loss
When you were finally free'd from your mortal prison
For you that word took on a whole new meaning
I have never been so proud as the day when you made me yours
But watching you, fighting along your side
To not give up
Even to your last ghost of thought
I was even more so
Left with an aching dark moon
A dead sun
No light to reflect off of my screaming face
I grieve in darkness
Where I can still feel the weight of your  hand in mine

Silent steps through dappled foliage
Listening deeply to the tree's east-west creak
Their song is one of simplicity
Bygone roots of an era long past
Digging barehanded through dark, rich earth
The pressure of dirt beneath my fingernails
I ache for lazy days and long summers
Firefly guts staining I-Hold-Them-Too-Tight fingertips
Grape Popsicle juice staining a just budding chest
My eyes close against reality
Afternoon warmth wraps around me
Slipping off into memory against a sturdy trunk
You cross my mind
Crimson, Frankenstein green, black
Used to be
Now
Brown, faded blues and tan
Deep breathes to shake free
Left wondering where my midnight soul went

Unrestrained
Summer sweat slick skin sliding
Urgent
Homemade wine lubricating the distance
Between our whispering mouths
I want you
Cowboy boots knocking sideways shimmy
So ready for your deep sighs
To set my hips a dancing
This is late night country twang duos  
Heart beat rhythms speed up like humming bird wings
Drinking deep of soft *** nectar
Eyes roll back in mid-moan wonder
Close now to seeing early morning fireworks
Fog rolls in over high peaked mountains
I am right there with them
Dewy. Dawn kissed.
Strung tight like guitar string strumming  
This body's melody hums in tune with you

Rough edges shape their calluses to my own
We bite softly at first
Tasting shadowed limitations
Deeper flavors blossom wet and dark along thirsty tongues
I need closer
To render you tearful, speechless
Peel back each layer then climb inside
Saturating my parched surface
With the dewy fabric of your subconscious mind
Ebony pupils widen into the spalunking expanse of my own
I could explore your depths for a lifetime
I would still be left wanting

Feeling a little like a bruised peach
Still sweet. Still juicy.
But soon I'll make you gag on my decayed flesh
Repetitious onslaught of daily drudgery leaves me hollow, tender
Used
Dawn bleeds into twilight, another one bites the dusk
Left alone with my thoughts and the far away rooting of night creatures
The darkness is an engulfing cave
My rampant desire to create is a halocline
Salt water day dreams meshing smoothly with fresh water nightmares
Hard to distinguish between the two
I'm sad you are gone
Tears fell for your fall
I cannot strong arm you into a game of pong or light a smoke
But I can sing into the silence hoping the melody helps fill your void
Static is a constant background
I've never treaded water of this depth in some time
My arms getting tired, legs sore
I look to you for comfort and realize you are already sinking
Where's the point when I decide who to save
Or do I too slip below the surface?

I feel the fuzzied heat of your wine laced breath through the miles

Hair on the back of my neck, aware, ripples goose flesh over sensitive skin

Fingertips itch to ease the ache in the knotted place between your smoke soaked lungs

Give me a chance...

Your position has always been passive
Aggressive when it comes to me
Pulled and stuffed into this little box
You see me fitting in with ease
For your eyes only
This whole private dancer mentality
Will get you torn apart
By a razor edged whit
That you are unable to contend with
No shackles
No chains
No supposed emotional ties
Will ever lock me up or shut me down

You'll need soft touches and hard *****
For that

Sunshine giggles ricochet
Off of not-even-Easter yellow walls
(More like Easter *****, or so you say)
Your laughter carrying
All the way across vast ocean
Causing mine to well up
Head thrown back
Face hurts
Kind of chuckle
Those are my favorite
No, *you are

I once dreamed of tracing Ghost lines
Now I do in waking life
Shadows catching shape and form of those missing
From those left behind
By candle light you are whispered
When gloaming lays still in the chilled evening air
I remember an autumn, not long ago
That made all those before it
Pale
On Equinox morning I became a wife
Two and a half years later I lost that life
Words fall short
Your arms never squeeze tight enough
hold close enough
Those that hurt
I am not made of paper mâché
I am steel, spider silk, diamond bright
With alligator skin that is all too thin
Don't ask me if I am okay
That word no longer plays a part
Focus on the silver lining
*Not on your broken heart

He was always a little strange
Starstruck by his inability to interact with the majority
Blank walls became a canvas
Endless sand dunes
Soaring mountain tops
Became his paradise
An escapee from a pesticide reality
They don't exist out here
Saturating the night with lyrical cursive
A sirens song to those lost at sea
Far removed himself from corporate greed
Even though what an amazing lawyer, under the devil's wing
He could have been
Not all those that wander
Find their way home
Reaching out to brush fingertips over the softness of memory
His thoughts fade into the vast night of oblivion
Seeking refuge and inspiration

Shedding layers like crusted tundra
Equal parts bright and shade
Alternate to spread shadow or give light
With ragged edges I start to rip at weak seams
I am but many parts
Some of those gone soft, rotten
Hungry to pull away at them
Strip bare of every bruised surface
Moonlight cleansing sweet silver
Like holy water to the ******
Painful but necessary
I am reborn

How could you affect me still?
Even these pages cannot forget
Outlines of shadows staining their surface
Soaking up your soft, fading scents of cemeteries and midnight walks
Haunting my dreams, driving me mad
With wanting the unattainable
I lick parched lips from a desert mouth
Tasting salt and sand
Unable to erradicate the memory of your teeth
Penetrating. Every. Thought.
Lush and violent retaliation lashes through me
How could I abstain?
To heady of a high to not fully submerge myself
In the black ,depthless veil just before dawn
Pulling me under, deep, just like you
Alone.
Just like you

I am shattered lands
Tectonic plates bucking against the heated pressure
Of each word you utter
Vesuvius verses Pompeii
With gypsy tips I've got these tricks
Leaving you breathless
Panting after in great belching strides
The slightest wave of my hand
Your a step away from erupting
Steaming up my control panel
Moisture slicking the pathways between here...and here.
Blow your top honey
I've got a village for you to cover

I am not see thru
Smoke clinging softly to my fingers
Translucent at best

Sifting through each little grain
As though sand
Leaving a trail back to reality

Soft air drifted in hushed whispers over my still form
A dormant heart, cold as concrete in mid-winter snowfall
Stutters awake to sudden life
Deep inhalation, ******* in the sunlight
Until it melts the numb core within
Wake up sweet thing, the day greats you
Eye lids flutter like tiny May Fly wings
Unsure and brand new

Her light went out
Where sweet warmth once lived
There is now nothing left but dust and shadows
Cobwebs drape gracefully in deep corners
Little heed to them is paid
Days go by
Dawn, dusk, Dawn, dusk
Through the night she fades indefinitely
But among falling sheaths of golden rays she stirs
Dancing circles on tiptoe round and round
Humming softly, methodical
Until, as the sun retreats
Her motions slow to a whisper
Until she is once again still
Leaving the haunting smell of roses lingering into the quiet night

The day it is a waning
Long streams of soft blue, deep violet
Ozone veins carrying the wakeful into sleep
I peak now
Eyes bright with moonlight
Stars dancing brilliantly against ink black anti-matter pools
I would go out drifting tenderly amongst those memories
Even if their edges tear apart from gravity
The knowing would suffice
Come dream with me 3am wanderers
Let the cushion of the unseen comfort
Sore spots that we no longer urge to heal