I hope you woke up next to sunshine
A soft smile and sleepy eyes
To greet you come morning
I hope she lights you up inside
Loves you for you
Helps you to love yourself
I hope...

Two years gone
Willow-o-the-whisp whispers
Fleeting in those final moments
Yet standing stark as limestone monuments
Now that time has passed
Many things I let slip soft as silk against your feverish skin
Hoping that they wound their way through the fog of narcotics
Finding the struggling will of your spirit
Easing your decision to soften your hold
How could I explain that your vessel was failing
You knew in the slowing of your heart
The stressed racing of mine
I could believe you smiled though your features lay lax
Last breath eased out in exhaustion
Finding peace after a well fought war
Two years gone
*I still feel you here

In the quiet light of morning
Sleepy slumber eyes
Meet my sunny, smiling gaze
Heaven is as personal as our gene structure
*This heaven is mine

My heart sleeve is tattooed and scattered
Four wind corner scars
Crisscrossing like battle lines
I've drawn in this sand of mine
The roar of your cannon's memory
Explodes loud and clear
Over the muffled cries of those that marked before you
Their leaving was more like a land mind
Blasting craters in my giving soil
That have since filled back in
Where as you hurt as Namazu would
Without Kashima to guard
*Ripping my earth apart

I suppose I have stalled confronting
The true depth, true meat of the problem
I am missing.
Not a half or a whole or a part
The me that was with you
Is gone
I begrudgingly have come to aching terms with your loss
Only to wake up silent and still
Reaching for your warmth
Not every night but some
Those that hum that certain tune
The one that reminds me of you
I most admittedly am in mad, passionate love with life
Every passing cumulus cloud
The flood of mortalities wake
I will keep jumping from great heights
Feel of the fall only eclipsed by safe landing
Feet on ground
Reaching deep to find me again
The one that can handle the sting of your loss
I do not want to forget
*Only to remember

I want to expose you
Pull out from behind static screens and caffeine
I don't want to  know you sober sugar
Only as a lover
Dipping in and out between light's fall
Light's rise
Concrete beneath never-at-home feet
Losing sand as time runs
Always in a hurry walking too slow
I catch up
Hands palm to palm
In heart to heartbeat resuscitation
I've Gypsy Blood, remember honey
Where you go
This sun drunk passion ***** follows