Wanderer

Wanderer Jan 2013

You pull
I push
The break is never easy, like taffy cooked too long
Shattering when stretched thin
That's how my inner monologue copes with anorexia
Eating holes straight through
But you could never stand the smell
Driftwood wet-rot thoughts boiling down
Catarizing the wound that always worries
My sluggish heart
Take a deep breath
Swollen and stolen it beats heavy in the starving cavity of my wintery chest
Longing  for summer
For the cosmic revolution that will bring it back around to the aching  center
The sun.
You.
Life.
Wake me up when night falls
Wake me up with stars burning behind my eyes

Wanderer Dec 2012

When the Morning Comes

Im in the process of forgetting
Everything I used to know
Looking up into the vast expanse of the past
I remember that we used to be part of that wandering star dust
One day soon we will be again

A breath of silver coats my lungs
Tasting a luminous horizon
Reaching out to suspend the fabric of my thoughts
Shining
Blinding the shadows into hiding

You only ever yearned to fly
Never to fall
There is such sweet sadness in letting go
That space between I'm sorry and Good-bye
It waits for us all
*
Even broken down I'm always worth something to you

Wanderer Dec 2012

Gone Away:Twilight Song

Your hand, it falls away
I am left in twilight
Always in the growing shadow of your ink stained heart
Crescent moon marks the purple deep of failing strength
To fight
I whisper on the easing wind to come find me
Following the soft edged sorrow you laid bellow
Where are those falling stars now?
Burning straight through
Leaving me blind and broken
The rushing tide of blood drums through my ears
A silky, salt water love song humming me to sleep
In that space between gripping and letting go I can still taste you on the ghostly wisps of nicotine smoke
All that remains is twilight

I'm always left wondering where you've gone

Wanderer Dec 2012

Context

I will do it when I **** well please

And don't look at me like that
Like I'll never touch you again or grace you with my presence
I just cannot breathe in here

Your lines remind me of slipping
Further and further off the edge

On a post-it to my notebook.

Wanderer Nov 2012

Cathartic

Hollywood is not happy any more
A thousand nights of sequins and *****
Collecting beneath her skirts like love letters
Plastered with admiration and cheap perfume
Blowing into breezy corners as she twists and turns
Escape attempt
Razor glitterati teeth biting at the media's ankles
GET OUT OF HERE!!!
They never listen
Watching, waiting with flash bulbs and endless ink wells
This will all be over soon
Lit match in her justice hands of frigid midnight
Sins of sulfur and *** saturate
She will burn you all down
Wooden hearts and cork board shoes
Hollow
All to ash before the dawn gives birth
In the aftermath she sheds sooty skin
City once again clean
that is
Until the next ultra gaudy fad comes to town

Wanderer Nov 2012

Alter Ego aka Victoria

Your phone calls always startle me
Never knowing what I might find if I pick up
ANSWER THE **** THING!!!
Your voice is deep and melodic
Dragging me back down into the hypnotic ******
Of late night *******
Viiiiiiicccttttoooorrrriiiaaaaaa
Your moans do not escape the pulsing of my secret flesh
Reaching crescendo as I bare witness to the sound of your ***
Just a little longer you say
Tie me up a bit, spank the delectable juicy round of my generous ***
Fantasy handprints mark alabaster like a second grade Thanksgiving turkey art project
Only here feathers are far more threatening
I'll be whatever you want me to be
Between midnight and six a.m.
Caressed by the curling waft of sunlight through smoke and shadow
Your voice fades away into static
Always left wet and wanting for more

Wanderer Nov 2012

Malpractice

Helium balloons smell strange
Lending a birthday clown like quality to the sterile state of hospital rooms
My feet hurt from running fluorescent hallways
Your gown was never tied right
Even after you slipped away
Down in the morgue, cold, laying in wait
While I cry myself into exhaustion amongst your death soiled bedding
Still smelling like sickness and you