She stares at the wall and
she curses it all when all is
said and done.

But at night she’s thrown,
by the brink of her bones
like glass into the silent sky.

So she’s suddenly lost in
nothing but rain
with a glimpse of Sanity Hill.

There’s nothing to lose, but
mirrors to gain
in pursuit of cloudless dreams.

And when she wakes
she frantically shakes but
always takes her time—

she sits and sifts
by burying her misfits
beneath the fluff of steel pillows.

She stares at her
chapbooks from Poe and Sylvia
plathed upon her cedar shelf.
She puckers and sighs at "the end of the world"
but remains afraid of herself.

Ever since I first saw her, I was dazzled
She came as a spark, and sparkled my universe
I was speechless, and had no words,
She came and instantly lifted my curse...

For centuries I sat in a black corner
Without uttering a word, I kept listening
Until she appeared and looked at me,
Magically, every locked doors were opening...

I was freed from the black pit
I witnessed a new world with a new aspect
I was thankful to her beautiful eyes
This is why, she is the one I respect...

She held my hands and taught me to walk
To walk without any fear of falling
Without her support in my life,
I am sure I would keep on failing...

Don't look at me like that
you know your eyes are venom
they tear and rot my flesh

But I know you never looked at me
it was always through me
like I didn't exist.

It's okay, though
I always enjoyed burning in your stare
constantly alight.

You always saw me, but I was never there
I was never there.

You saw the fire tears falling
from my bloodshot eyes

You know I'm hurt.
What are you going to do about it?

There's no bandages
creams or ointments
that are going stop the pain

There's only you
and you've already walked away.

Let's leave
right now
and never tell a soul
pack some water
and a shovel
let's dig some new plot holes
'cause who would really miss us?
who would even notice?
you're down to take a risk I trust
to put this **** in focus
so let's leave tonight
before the light creeps past the blinds
before the world wakes up to find
that we're gone
that we're gone
we'll get new names
to replace the old ones
'cause I don't want a thing to hold on to
and it can only get better
there's nothing here for you
let's leave right now

Let's go
we're done
we're gone
so long

let's go
life won't wait
and if we miss the train
we're gonna sink where we stand
and i can't do that
anymore than you can.

he tucks her hair behind her ear, then goes back to reading his book.
and she stares at him and wonders simultaneously how she got so lucky, and how things got to be this way. because no one ever told her what it's like to be in love, and no one can tell her which way is up.
"listen to your heart," they say.
but untrained hearts are just as faulty as untrained minds, and this girl is spinning circles trying to figure out where to go.
which step is next.
she bites her lip, that one he's brought between his own teeth countless times before. she guides her hand along his arm, stares at his knees. she curses them, because they are what she fell in love with.
she fell in love with his hands, and his knees.
and she curses herself, too. "stupid girl, no wonder you don't know what love is."
too busy wasting time watching skin taught on bone and how swollen knuckles settle.
too busy staring to catch her breath.
'silly me,' she thinks.
she counts the miles that will soon separate them, comparing them to the amount of freckles she'd mapped out on his back.
the odds weren't in her favor.
but there was a sense of despairing hope, even.
in crowded train lines and sticky nights running from everything.
under streetlights, dancing,
and clutching each other during thunderstorms.
'don't lose hope,' she thinks.
'you may be stupid but don't lose this.'
questions might never be answered but at least there's promises, whispered and held between their chests.
she might not ever know if this is it or if she's wasting time,
but god knows it never feels like time wasted when she watches those eyelashes close.

Two boys
and girls
unclothed each other
simply at a picnic
flush with wine
alongside
sun-flecked trees.

The girls,
easy as the
forest round,
burned,
delicious,
as the boys
eager and nervous
in unequal measure
partly gave up
concealing
their joys
at forgetting
or remembering
in flickers
their bare bodies.

It went on
over nettles
and half-hours
and clambered
trees and
photos taken
almost formally
(on film,
of course).

And boyish lust,
at first sinuous,
a darting tongue,
began to
soften against,
for instance,
the sheer,
unthinkable
texture
of the two
girls carved
now backward
over the bough
of a storm-felled elm.

And there
in the embers
of evening
they learned
to thrill originally
at the vast,
gorgeous
and astonishing
irrelevance
of what
might happen next.

I wish that I could erase
Those awful moments from my life
Those moments I look back at
And they make me want to cry
I wish I could go back and change
The terrible things I said
I wish I could just go back
And just shut my mouth instead
I wish I could get rid of
All those little flaws
Those little flaws that all add up
All those little wrongs
I wish I could have stopped you
From doing what you’ve done
But now that it’s to late
It’s all over
And nobody won