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I think of how his tears evaporate when I rub them in between my finger and thumb
I see his scowl of anguish and all I can think to do is kiss him
Cry with him
Mix our salty dewdrops together
So he knows he is not alone
He is not the only one in pain
That I am here with him
Holding him holding me
absorbing all the hurt that I can hold in me
So it won't be within him

I sit in his lap
He holds me as I shudder into him
I hold his face in my hands
Forehead to forehead
The tips of our noses are wet with each others tears
Swirl the salty dewdrops into our skin
Breathe deeply
Inhale my exhale
Please know that you will be okay
We will both be okay
As long as you hold on to me
I will hold you to to my chest
And we will let the pain run down our faces
I will cry for you, for me, for our souls, for the hurt and anger
Cry for me my love
Cry for the pain,
what's lost
And for the fact that one day this will end
I'm only getting a head start on the damage your absence will do to my sanity
What is it called

When you have a love

Someone you cherish

But for some reason can't ever be good enough for?

I'm sorry

That I can't give you more

You say you don't want it

But you deserve it

You deserve someone who doesn't want to hurt you

Someone who respects you

Someone who can do anything for you

I'm sorry I'm too ****** up to know how to love someone as wondrous as you
He holds me as if I were a newborn latched to his chest

Clinging to his love

I can't get over the feeling of being in his arms

He puts his hands on me and I realize

This is where I belong

Holding him holding me

I can feel the deepest parts of me reaching into the depths of him

And I know

I've never felt like this about another person
It's not love
If you don't melt in his gaze

It's not love
If your skin isn't electric under his touch

It's not love
Unless his words remove thought from your clouded mind

It's not love
If he isn't the only one who can save you from yourself

It's not love
If you don't feel like losing him will be the death of you

It's not love
If you don't squeeze too tight

It's not love
If you don't dread his absence

It's not love
If you don't beg him to stay

It's not love
Unless you absolutely shatter
When he tells you it's over

It will never be love
Unless it's with him
I find my fingernails digging into old slits of skin
my cramped hand twists around his
Until he can no longer take the tips of my fingers digging into his flesh
And he pulls away

i'm hurting him
i'm no good for him
He'd be better off without me
Why?
Why do I always find myself gripping at him
Do I need him that badly
I don't want to know
Which is worse
Discovering that I need him
Or admitting that I don't
What do you do when you discover it really isn't love
When all you wanted was to love
And be loved in return
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