slowly getting naked week by week to the 80s
book of mormon distance of irony apart from you
french texts in between, growing with this something

but then there it  is yet again, that silence fuss and distance
yet we are on the west side, rocks and the ship wreck among them
sipping clementine breeze through iv simple, should be eating but I just am
used to have energy for two, strangled by the telephone chords all bogged down and
i don't know why i , feel so tongue tied , i don't know why i feel so hidden deep down inside

Body:
      Pinups and post adolescent boys screaming turbulence
strung out in my room, days for ever growing more jaded
what ever that means, surely these things, will rip my heart out
get back to my head, share anything, better make my head feel still

     Reading in  the blue light that is a broken hearted city passing by
  without it all , skylines for side views, heading south, away from it
when will it all mean surely nothing, will it rip my head out
get back to my bed, share anything, better make  my bed feel here


     Thankful for all the things i get wrong that i still feel in the day
  you out there, somewhere doing good , filling the world with so much hope
where age means nothing, and you can marry me, and stay the same- beautiful
money where it does not mean a thing, money make the world turn , anything

    
      Closure seeking itself in the open flatlands of an opaque remembering scheme
  this is him in his prime, waiting for me with the open hands of a martyr stinging
when will  you separate the screams from the hit on key singing of angels of sorts
foxes in the court room dancing during the sweeping, over papers left behind foxes

he gave me a christmas present today.
a coffee cup and some toys.
sounds childish, but i really
appreciate anything that
lights up and sings.

he came next to me and said,
"i have a gift for you."
i walked next to him and
he put in it my hands and said,
"everyone deserves toys, even
when they're a bit older."
and smiled so wide.

i looked up at him and said,
" thank you. thank you so much."
and opened up my arms because
this time i would be the one who
embraced him.

i honestly didn't want to let go.
he makes me feel safe.
he is what home should feel like.
he is a wonderful and lovely person.
and i just cannot get enough of him.

i thought of him
and those hands
and that beard
dear god, he is ecstasy.

i thought of that laugh
and that smile
and those blue, blue eyes.
i cannot get enough.

the thought of his tie
and those lips
and the way he sticks out his tongue.
i sure would like a taste of him.

i thought about him
and his brain
and about what he thinks about,
maybe he thinks of me?

he must think of me,
he gives me gifts
and tells me he loves me.
doesn't that mean he cares?

maybe i'll never know.