they say she was broken too early
she picked up the pieces and
put them together crudely with tape
then she built the wall,
to hide her poor creation from the world

what they don't know is that her heart aches
just thinking of the city
her heart aches when she remembers the past
her heart aches when she sees his face
her heart aches because it will never be the same

Don't tell me how
   let me discover
   let me live with juvenessance
   and purity.
But then when the time comes
   I will have to experience
   I will be stained with the
       imperfections of the human hand...
                                                                      crushed.
Even then you must let me get *****
                                  let me feel pain.
                                  let me sit on the shore of vastness
                                  and let me contemplate what put me here.
Without suffering we have no reason to fight.
We have no drive for peace.
So let me be born
                        and born again
and let me search over
                                 and over again

                        until I become the one you cannot search for.

Dear Lucy, I will paint a dream as best I can for you
Pick up a paintbrush so you, too, can help me make these skies of blue
Loosing the grip of a seemingly loveless reality
Killing you're hopeless mentality and reminding you of why to sing

Lucy, I will never give up on the rose in your cheeks
Each time you blush, I cannot speak because it's a sight I forever seek
Tasting all the colors that the easel offers you
Clearing microscopic views to show that love was made for you

Dreaming of leaving the past of dreadful things you've seen
Jumping the fence to grasses green and having picnics, you and me
Lucy, I have seen the golden crest of a sunrise
Though night may come, it's in your eyes by which I seem to be hypnotized

Looming are the days of love that break apart storm clouds
Living in love, right hear and now and knowing we'll get through somehow
Lovely are the thought of it being just you and I
Looking upwards at painted sky as told to us in lullabies

Lucy, never lose hope in the gift that's owed to you
Pay no attention to critic's bad reviews and make a show just starring you
I'll be in the front row cheering and jeering you right on
The spotlight for this stage is the dawn and it tells you to carry on

Its strange how you've stayed with me
All this time
My fondest memory
When you used to yell at me because I wasn't holding your hand tight enough.

You are more like
a photograph to me,
a still-frame memory like that
picture of my dog when she was younger,

the one that was in an album
that got water damage.

You're like that.

Except your hair's a little sharper,
your tongue a bit wetter,
your lip ring might just be
more kissable these days.

Inspiration is a fickle muse
A touchy maid
A picky flirt
Tempting the artist and author
Flicking a tendril of light
In your direction so it
Barely brushes the mind
Enough to see that it's genius
But not enough to see what it is
So many lose this tickle of an idea
But a few are prepared
Armed with papers and pens
Walls and paints
Stone and chisel
They scribble and splash and carve it
As best they can and then refine
Shape and sculpt to better suit
Their idea of perfection
So that the same tendril may touch thirty
But only ten capture it
And none in the same manner

I know I blame you
For the hurt and break
For the sickness and longing
And for the invisible barrier between us,
Thin and strong as spidersilk
I deemed you hardhearted
Mercurical in emotion
And swift to raise walls.
But perhaps I was too quick to judge.
After all, you came here at just eleven years
You were tormented by peers, much like me
Your family has been split and shattered
When we were together, we were so close,
I clung to you like a baby bird
But I think you clung to me as well,
I just didn't see it because you held differently
And your touch was so gentle.
You claim to be over me, and to have successfully
Forgotten what we had, even though you also
Claim to have loved me, right before the split
But I think your indifference, your shields and shells
Are made because you also were hurt and ache and
Are created if only to protect a tender belly and soft heart.

it was first year when
you chose to **** with my head
intimidation was my weapon of choice

(I lied, this isn’t a haiku. but you lied to me too. *******.)

I'm the stubborn cigarette
you just can't put out.
You want to walk away,
and you might.
But you will feel guilty
leaving me here to burn.