If I was an elephant
I would go on a rampage and trample over every mouse

if I was a baboon
I would throw **** on every chimpanzee and orangutan

if I was a lion
I would roar so loud that it would confuse every other animal

if I was a python
I just might squeeze the life out of something

if I was a hippo
then I could hide under the water for hours at a time

if I was a cheetah
I could run away faster than anything

if I was a crocodile
I could take a chomp at anything that came too close

if I was a giraffe
I could see them coming from a mile away

but I'm a human, and unfortunately people expect more out of me

In west Virginia, they do things different
they don't want to advance too soon
if you don't believe me let me take you
to a west Virginia emergency room

deer hair sutures for stitching you up
then a duct tape bandage on your wound
redneck responses by physicians
doc needs a break to spit in the spittoon

this one is in critical condition
this poor feller has run out of luck
doctor redneck turns to mention
"go get my gun out of my truck"

it's hard to stay upbeat
when you're getting beat up
you don't worry about upkeep
when you can't keep up

I need something i can stand under
something I can understand
it's enough to put a man under
and i'm feeling under-manned

standing in the october rain
one last time to hold her hand
she has the softest touch of pain
but this pain was never planned

raindrops fall to the beating of hearts
i'm soaked in my regrets
a final ending, two new starts
i am still glad we met

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