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You exhaust me, oh night
with your brewing blanket of beauty
with the sounds of air circulating through vents
with your dark fingers that demand to
hold my attention.
let me go let me go.
Words from the soul
flow only when I'm with you, oh night.
There is no right without wrong
but where do I belong
in the blurred lines of morality.
I wish I was this, I wish I was that
Are you a person or a lab rat
under supervision of the Media,
a doctor who specializes in the swing of society.
Caught up in accepting mediocrity
You forget how frickin' great you could be.
You get in the car and fasten your seat belt yet the car isn't moving at all. It isn't moving at all 'cause you're in the wrong seat. Swing over your feet and step on the gas, and watch all the time standing pass.

But you're not this and you're not that. You're not a rat or in a car. You're in a bed, lying down, trying to tune out the sound of humming vents that echo emptiness into your ears.

"Fears," it whispers.
Something I created long ago in the middle of the night, on the small screen of my phone.
 Oct 2013 Brian Carson
SE Reimer
wax runs slowly from his candle
as ink flows freely from his pen
daydreams stretched out on his anvil
where each word he hammers into rhythm

with skill he’s tooling an ode of mourning
beside his fire lies a sonnet undone
paintings of prose around him are scattered
and unframed verses his walls adorn

a haiku sweet graces his table
a ballad long covers his floor
his home already filled to overflowing
one wonders if there is room for more

he’s unable to sell them, try as he might
though each skillfully crafted is a work of art 
still driven he labors long into the night
his blood turns to ink as he pours out his heart 

down at the market where men sell their wares
poems fetch only a penny a line
he’s chosen a craft that a pittance pays
he’ll have to settle for a book of rhymes

his inkwell low he walks down to the store
where he refills his stock of whiskey and wine
exchanging his farthings for bread and butter 
and a chance at a glance of a fair lass fine

she, his inspiration, and fuel to his fire
yet she’ll ne'er know, she’s his psalm to be sung
so on marches time and their verse can't be written 
for his words flow on page, just not from his tongue

so the wax keeps running from his candle dim
the ink from this wordsmith continues to flow 
his daydreams he hammers over his anvil
but prose they might have written we’ll never know
~

post script.

this one didn't start off as a lost-love poem.  funny how that developed as i wrote it.  it began more just as a reflection of the art of wordsmithing, and how much it is that we hammer, bend, spin and curve all manner of words to make these things we call poetry.  language... what a gift we have to convey our love, our anger, our disappointment, our expectation to those around us.  a beautiful thing!!!
 Oct 2013 Brian Carson
Corinne
i'm restless
four hours till breakfast
and i smell the last of the tonic
wasted on her breath
instead of her bloodstream
i watch my mind fly away
still stuck on this pipe dream
while a slow sad song plays
in the background of my memories
i'm weighed in with only make up
caked in the cracks and crevices
in spite of this and my spitefulness
i'm still a *****
and i'm restless
out of billions i'm just a dust speck
so i'll fall out of my clothes
to watch you disrobe
and break a sweat
the window to your soul is not your eyes
it's under your shirt sleeve
it's the lust
disguised in your bloodstream
and i'm screaming
there's no honor among thieves
you must be dreaming
i sit in this space and wait
while the butterflies congregate
into my heart
instead of my stomach
where they belong
the weightlessness long gone
i'm just another twenty-something fatality
fighting a war
armed with only my shaken sanity
and i'm restless
 Oct 2013 Brian Carson
Eliza
Bleed
 Oct 2013 Brian Carson
Eliza
I've made myself bleed.
The thought of doing it never occurred to me.
But I was curious.
I wanted to know what it was like to slice open your skin.
To play with knives and blades.
To have blood dripping.
And now that I've done it,
I promised to never do it again.
But the thought of doing it is addicting.
I like the pain.
I like the endorphins released.
I like the feel of it.
I like how it takes away my pain for a moment.
I might do it again.
I might never stop.
Here's to hoping I will be saved.

*(n.d.)
 Oct 2013 Brian Carson
Eliza
Fiction
 Oct 2013 Brian Carson
Eliza
It's amazing
how much of a comfort you can find
with fictional characters and their worlds.

Whether it's fantasy, sci-fi or thriller,
whether their world is full of dangers and adventures,
you would rather be in theirs than be in yours.

I realised how much of a sadness our world has become
because we rely in non-existing worlds
in order to survive our own.

*(n.d.)
Not my very best, tho.
 Oct 2013 Brian Carson
Eliza
Don't make decisions
when your eyes
are as heavy
as your heart.

*(n.d.)
The goose is a curious animal.
It does not trust me, even now, after months of trying.
Months of holding a trembling gosling who nuzzled me.
It now has not trust for me, even though nobody,not one person, has ever harmed it.
It tilts it's silly head and stares at me and tries to figure if I'll try to catch it.
I thought, foolishly, there was love in this beast.
But a goose is not a boy.
It doesn't care if it upsets you.
Doesn't care if you just want someone or something warm near you for comfort.
Which makes it much better off, in the long run, than a boy.
I can force a boy to care.
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