I raise up my hands to heaven
and say to God,
"Pick me up
Embrace me
Love me"
But then I shrink back
and I insist
that God must be hurt
by my exposed, broken shards

"I am not whole,
and not huggable
My pain is like thorns
that cut and inflict"
And so I look away with remorse

But God answers me
as only He can do, saying,
"Then we have a lot in common
Or did you forget the cross?
My Son on it?
Jesus, who was the most
broken of all"

I agree that I do...
I must!
But still...

"A nail in a hand
A wreath of thorns for a crown
He died quite damaged
for those like you
Yet was I not there to embrace Him
and welcome Him home?"

In spite of my tears, I reason
My mind and heart agree
So my Father and I embrace
and I accepted God's grace

After all

Last night I thought I could live without you
Tonight I thought I couldn't live without you.
I guess I'm convincing myself for what I'm about to do...
For what I have to do....
To live without you...

Take my hand
We'll walk through the maze together
I may not love you the way you want
But I will always be your anchor
For the moments of gaiety and fun
And all the times you feel unsure

Take my hand
It won't be long till dark clouds gather
And though this route is often shunned
I will be your most steadfast shelter
So let the storm howl and the winds cant
Our future only holds fair weather

Take my hand
Our journey only grows farther
Despite the obstacles that sought to daunt
We've emerged the stronger
As true and honest souls are wont
Against open smiles and hidden dagger

*Take my hand
Open your eyes and look closer
I will never show you a false front
So come back before you fall deeper
Break rank from that merry jaunt
And I promise you a cause that's worthier

When the candle light goes,
The wind sings it's song,
And the bright sky knows
That the fire still belongs.
The wax drips down
The fresh cleaned table,
For when the fire burns out
It leaves the wax unstable.
Dripping
On the
Floor boards.
Dripping
Off the
Holder.
I thought
My wax could
Stay stable.
But as my
Fire burns bright,
I know that when it goes, I'll find myself unable
To see
That last bit of wax falling from me.

There goes my memories!
Was it chance that I forgot my name!
Who is this person
We look quite the same!
Where did my body go!
Where did I leave my face!
I left it here long ago!
I left it deep inside my grave.

For the wind blows on
And I will forget who I was.
For the wind blows on
And the past keeps turning to dust.

Oh clouds I'm calling you down
To bring the rain one more time
So I remember my pain.
You once were all I had,
The empty stomach, the aching eyes,
You were all of my days.
I want to go back
Before I knew you were real
Before I felt this way!
You know who I used to be!
A happy child, a happy me!
I wish you never came!
Oh I wish that I left you slain!

Oh I wish that the demons
Never crept inside!
Oh I wish that the darkness
Never made my lie!
But the more I remember
The more I realize!
That I made me this way!
I chose how to die.