How pathetic is it
That everytime I hear the roaring
Of a diesel engine
I turn around to glance
Secretly hoping it may be you
But you sold your truck,
And you no longer come out
To this part of town.

How pathetic is it that everytime a sad song
Creeps up on me
On the radio
My heart begins to pound
And the sound of your voice
Swirls around in my brain
Like a never ending vortex
And I'm reminded
Of everything you once said
The song may be over,
But I still remember it word from word
And I always seem to find it
Still stuck in my head

How pathetic is it
That still to this day
You're the only soul that's ever gotten
To me
So deep you pierced my heart
Your mark is within me forever
And it never will heal
The scar will forever be noticable


How pathetic is it
That when I lay down at night
I replay the whole past in my head
I remember every word
Every detail
And the exact way you said my name
And If you said my name
One last time
I then could die a happy girl

How pathetic is it
That you control my every day
Yet I have not seen you in almost a year
And you are always there waiting for
Me
In my dreams
I just can't seem to escape from you
And once I awake
I'm left feeling as if a hole was punched
Through my chest
I feel so empty

Maybe tonight I'll be able to
Get you off my mind for a little
When my blood is flooded with alcohol
Even then,
You cross my mind and I feel
Myself wallowing in my own sorrow
Dreaming of the future we could have had
And wondering where it all went wrong


Its beyond pathetic knowing
I'll never get over you
Even though you're over me
And long gone
Never to return to this part of town

I'm pathetic and I'll admit it
Only because maybe you'll see
I need you
And come back and save me

I still think about you every single day
I hide the letter you wrote me
And the picture of us crumbled up
In my pillow case
I ripped them off my wall
But I just can't seem
To throw them away

I try my hardest to be so strong
I know the way you make me feel
Isn't right
Its so wrong
So why does your face come into my mind
Everytime I hear a sad song?
The days just pass by
And the nights are just too long

It just hurts the most knowing all
We planned for our lives together
Are now gone forever
And all the words you said to me
Are not important and won't be remembered

Ill forget
Ill move on
Ill try my best
to be strong

But Ill never forget the way you
looked at me with your brown eyes
Ill never forget how you'd tell me you loved me
Over and over at least a million times

Ill never forget when we made love
And how I finally opened up to you
Giving you all my trust

Ill never forget the rhythm of your heart
Ill never forget how you were the light in the dark

But I have to forget in order to move on
I hope that you'll stop me
Before I'm too far gone

Things will never be the same now
As they were
When we were young

When I first wake up in the morning
Its an instinct for me to think about you.
The picture of us to the right of my bed
And the letter you wrote me
Are the first things I see when I awake
From my dreams,
That also always involve you.
Throughout the day
I have constant reminders of things
That you do
Things that you said
And I sometimes see your face
On strangers wandering the roads.
On the nights when I'm
Exessively lonely,
I'll lay next to him and let him
Give his love to me
Just so I'm not so numbed
Just so I'm not so empty
And I'll close my eyes and imagine
Its your hands caressing me
And imagine
Its your eyes hypnotizing me.
Maybe I should have fought for you,
But I'd rather solve things with peace
So as if you were a dove in a cage,
Or a fish in a tank,
I realized it was not right to keep you
Trapped
So I set you free,
And now
an emptiness takes the place
Of where you once belonged.
Maybe I should have
Fought for you
But once I set you free
You were gone
In the blink of an eye
Forever out of arms reach

I told him to call me when he cares

So

I'm still sitting here, with my phone volume

Turned all the way up

But I'm left in silence

I'd use the last breath in my chest
To speak your name
One
last
time.

I remember those white sheets and the covers pulled over our heads
And my head placed on your chest
I remember the exact rhythm to the beating of your heart
As if it were my favorite song stuck in my head
Replaying over and over again
A melody that floods my mind with memories
You made promises you swore you'd
Never break even if your life
Depended on it
Now look at us,
We're nothing but smoke from eachother's
Cigarettes drifting away in the air
Day by day
And as I lay here replaying those
Memories in my head
I glance over at the picture of us on the wall
Taken months ago
The color is fading
The memories are fading
And so are we