Brielle O'Brien

Brielle O'Brien Jan 2014

Untitled

"Doubt everything. Find your own light."
So I shut out the whole world
Believed not a single word a soul told me
And I found you to be my
Source of sunlight

Brielle O'Brien Jan 2014

time

time is but an illusion
it was made into a concrete concept
so man could comprehend it logically
but time has no logic to it
time is nothing
yet time is everything
without the occurance of time,
things would be the same as they were
this time of year two years ago
back when things first began
between he and i
and its odd to think that
that almost 730 days i ago
i didnt even know who he was
and now
i cant ever seem to forget about him
Maybe with each passing day
As the clock ticks away
Time will bring us back
To where we once began

I might have to wait eternity,
But I've got time.

Brielle O'Brien Jan 2014

Untitled

He's an arrogant *******
Who likes the way it feels
When pills trickle down his throat
In a river of lemon iced tea
And the way the smoke from
***** and american spirit cigarettes
Fill his chest
He thinks he knows it all
He tells me stories of when he was a kid
Always breaking the rules
And doing what he wanted
As we sit outside by the fire
And he puts a glass bottle of beer to
His mouth
And I sit back with a smile on my face
Wishing times like these
could last forever
He tells me that what we behold
Is sacred;
That not many people get the chance
To bestow it and cherish it.
He told me that no matter what
He's here for me.
I came up with every "what if?" Scenerio
Never actually imagining that one day
He really wouldn't be here for me
But he reasurred me that there was
Absolutely not a thing I could do
To make him love me any less.
Now that was a long time ago
That was before our lives fell apart
And the words he said
Quickly faded
Just like the remains of the
fire that july night
I remember him also telling me
That sometimes things happen
And sometimes people change
Well,
I didn't ever think
That my own father
Could change his mind
And to think he said
He'd always be here,
Is like saying july nights last forever
And that fires never burn down to embers

And fade away

Brielle O'Brien Jan 2014

mud on the tires

I fell for a boy
Who wore muddy boots
Lights jeans
Who drove A cummins truck
With stacks on the back
With a confederate flag flying high
With pride
He liked tobacco
Whether it be cigarettes or dip
I remember telling him that they were
Bad for him
He smiled and inhaled the nicotine
Without a care in the world
That was before I smoked a pack a day
As you can see
That was almost a lifetime ago
Because he's gone
And now I'm addicted

Brielle O'Brien Jan 2014

Untitled

There's a reason that the sun arises
Each morning
It is a possible new beginning
for everyone to take advantage of
There's a reason
The waves of the ocean always
Come crashing back onto the shore
It is a way to never lose touch
Of home
There's a reason for the stars beyond us
Burning and Shining
There's a reason for the seasons
That seem to quickly pass by
Except in times of coldness
There's a reason the world spins
There's a reason the moon beams
At night
It guides unfourtunate souls
Who wander and may be lost
Providing light
But along with all these wonders in life,
I'm not sure of the reason
If there's a reason
I stumbled across you
And that's where it began

Brielle O'Brien Jan 2014

that one boy

There was a boy whom I knew
Inside and out
Backwards, sideways, and upside down
I think I knew him almost better than I
Knew my own self.
We grew together for some time
He was by my side through
The darkest of days
Always there to ease the pain
And he was
also there
On the most soothing nights
When life was full of bliss
And we'd sit on my roof star gazing
Talking about what we wanted out
Of this thing called life.
This boy gave me everything,
Treated me beyond wonderful,
But the boy reminded me too much
Of myself,
So I had to let him go.
We were so similar,
Yet so very different,
And the time to say goodbye
Was now manditory.
So we went our seperate paths
And
Things were left unsaid
And bitterness and
Hatred grew within.
I never meant to hurt the boy,
It was never my intention
To cause pain to the fragile heart
Of a boy who
saved me once upon a time.
I don't think I like to admit it,
But I cared about that boy,
That's why
I had to let him go.

Brielle O'Brien Jan 2014

just breathe

i dont know what to think. i dont know what to do. i love him. right?
yes, i do.
but no, i dont, i can't.
why am i still thinking about you?
yes, he makes me smile,
but, when im with him, i wish it were you by my side
i wish it were you looking into my eyes, not him.
the things he says to me,
they make my heart melt
but i think its because
i hear them in your voice.
i picture your lips moving and
i am reminded of the way you lick your lips after every few words
i remeber the effect the sparks that your words had
on my heart
and for some reason,
i just dont feel them with him the way i did with you,
especially when he tells me im beautiful.
He gives me the world, but for some reason,
it's just not enough.
I know it sounds so selfish,
but in reality,
all i want is to be happy.
i'm not happy.
i can never sleep at night.
the voices in my head keep me awake,
sometimes, those voices tell me to forget about you
and to continue being with him
those, i consider those to be nightmares.
but sometimes,
those voices sound like your voice
and like to repeat old memories in my brain
slowly, but surely,
drowing me.
These waters im in continue to rise.
so what should i do?
contiune to go through the days, pretending im happy?
or should i just find a way out?
oh, i forgot,
there is no way out.
ever.
I dont want to hurt him,
yet I dont want to be in pain either,
I want you to be happy,
Yet i want to be the one to make you smile.
So,
i guess i'll stay here,
stuck in the mess of emotions,
while the waters im in
continue to rise
eventually drowning me in my
own thoughts,
wrong doings,
and my own pity.
when will i be able to
just breathe?

i wrote a monolouge similar to this last year, but i lost it, so im sitting in class bored so i thought id try to re do it.