I can sit here, saying your name
Looking at a picture of your face
Or just thinking about your beauty
None of it feels the same anymore
When I was with you, I took it for granted
And now that we are apart, I regret it
I wish I would've shown how much I loved you
I wish I could have done everything better
But I tried, it was a difficult time
Long distance and all, I did what I could
But it still was no where near enough
So now I think of you, your name, your face
And I get emotional, close to a breakdown
But I hold it all back from the world
Because I don't want you to see me this way
I feel like a lonely and miserable monster
I regret ever falling this deeply in love with you
But I don't regret a relationship with you
As it shaped who I became today
Even though I cringe at the sight of myself
I hate how I feel, but I regret nothing now

I've tried to move onward in my life
But you're like a boomerang, coming back
I do what I can to push you aside
But you end up at the same place each day
I miss you, I can no longer hide that
I can't change how I feel about you
I wish you were back here with me
But that's no longer possible, so I move on

We can always be looking
For that destined someone
Some many never find them
Others will often get lucky
It can tough to find them
But it will all pay off eventually
Soulmates are destined to be
You will know when they are found
You will feel an ultimate connection
Feel what they feel almost always
Be able to make each other happy
With just each other's presence
Some pipeline believe in a soulmate
Personally, I don't think so anymore
I thought I found mine at one point
Then she abandoned me like I was nothing
I felt everything I just said above
And she felt the same way to me
But I guess it's not destined to be

Here's a short explanation of my life:
Pages 1-6: building up a new reputation
Having big dreams, as big as a nation
I was just starting out in my early youth
I remember when I first lost a tooth
I thought I was slowly dying away
I thought my body was beginning to decay
But then I realized it was a natural occurrence
I continued my youth with little interference
Pages 6-12: I'm in my late youth stage
I'm ready to be a teen and then the page
I experienced moving and family deceased
I tried to cope with it as the pain decreased
And sure enough it did not happen again
But I was constantly bullied and in pain
At times I didn't want to go to school
But I was as consistent as a Mexican bull
I fought through all the pain and agony
To become as successful as I could be
Pages 13-16: looking at a bigger place
High school. A place filled with disgrace
Middle school seemed like a slow torture
So I hoped that high school would be better
It was, kind of. Freshman year was strange
I was okay, then depressed and out of range
I then met someone that seemed truly special
Possibly my dream girl, we were inseparable
Except, she moved thousands of miles away
We fought through difficulties every day
But it just did not work out at all in the end
I felt as if my heart would never again mend
Until I thought I found someone close to me
I started to like her on a band trip in Hawaii
We dated for a few months but it fell apart
And yet again there was a tear in my heart
I didn't think I could do anything about it
Until I find a key that will properly fit
Page 17: my current place in this story
I still have the right to write about me
I still have many years to look ahead
Until the final days when I end up dead
But I'm only at 17, halfway to 18 now
I have had a disappointing life I think
Two girlfriends, heartbreaks, I slowly sink
Grades starting to slip in every class
As I progress to harder classes to pass
My lips still remain virgins, no gentle touch
I am becoming desperate now, so very much
I want to find someone to love once more
Someone who won't slam the door
My heart has been beaten and slaughtered
I need someone to fix it while it's tattered
I still have a place in my heart for someone
She's thousands of miles away, so far gone
Yes, the first girl I loved, that's the one
I thought that It would work out, but I'm alone
Page 18: I am 18 now. I'm legally an adult. I'm off to college in a few months, done with high school, and I'm ready to take a giant step in life. It's been two years since my heartbreaking situations. Am I okay now? Sadly I am not. I still see her face and a thousand memories flood my mind. I don't think it's possible to move on. I've done all I can think of. Maybe one day it will all settle in the dust and it will all be okay. But in the meantime, I will live another day.
Page ???: I will again find happiness in my life
My story continues with happiness and strife
I will find happiness again some day, I hope
As I have too much pain right now to cope
I need someone now to hold in my open arms
As I am a classy gentleman and mean no harm
I will live my life as long as a block of lead
And will try to remain happy, until I am dead

It will be one of these days
All the rage bottled in me
All of the built up anger
Then it will all just explode
It keeps building each day
From people and myself
When I finally will explode
I will change as a person

One of these days, I will find love
I thought I found it at one point
But that all was just a lie I guess
Maybe it will happen, one day
But in the meantime, I am patient
Yet impatient, as I have been waiting
But when I finally find my love
It will be a huge weight lifted away

One of these days, I will be happy
A true, generous smile on my face
Not some fake nonsense of a smile
Maybe I will be truly happy again
But while I wait, I am optimistic
I am trying to find it in smaller things
But it's only in the larger ideas I see it
And when I'm truly happy, I will fly freely

One of these days, I will be living the dream
Not necessarily living a luxurious dream life
But just knowing I'm proud of where I am
Living with a beautiful wife and great kids
Working at a job so I can support my family
And the job allowing ample time to enjoy life
When I finally see the dream as a possibility
I will grab hold and never let go as long as I live

I wonder about this very often it seems
Why am I always a single and lonely guy?
Apparently I'm sweet and a gentleman
But I am always on the wrong end of it all
Is it because I'm not the most attractive?
Could it just be I don't seem sociable?
Maybe I really am not a true gentleman
But either way, I am single, but I wonder why
I don't enjoy the single life, I truly hate it
I could be much happier if I had a girlfriend
Simple. I honestly am not happy right now
I'm lonely, I want something to do, but no
I am stuck at home playing a stupid game
Just thinking about my ex, and how I was happy
Back in the good days, when I enjoyed life
Now I live each day, dealing with loneliness