First of all, I would like to say thanks
For being caring during a time like this
However, you don't need to worry
You did what you thought was right
And that's all you could have done
Prom, it doesn't matter much to me
Sure I want a date to it, but I don't mind
I know you would have went with me
But I want you to be happy, not me
I control myself, and it is as simple as that
So there's no need to worry about me
You made your decision, and I made mine
Be happy, no need to worry about me
I am fine

I imagine the scenario
What I want to happen
To what actually will occur
Then it all just goes black
Replay, it's all back in my head
I see her smile, so gorgeous
She is crying tears of joy
As she runs into my open arms
Then it goes black once more
Prom, every high schoolers dream
It is now a nightmare and a dream
All at the exact same time
I want to spend it with her
But I no longer exist to her
As she has a new boyfriend
And I sit alone, thinking
The scenario in my head
Replays constantly, it won't stop

It is all currently a blur
As a senior in high school
I am unsure of my future
It is like looking though a fog
No idea on the career I chose  
No idea what college to attend
No idea if I want to go to prom
Senior year has been stressful
Not because of my daily classes
But for the personal decisions
My future at one point seemed bright
Knew where I wanted to attend college
Knew what I wanted to do as a career
Even knew the woman I was to marry
And the names of the kids we would have
But now none of this is clear in my mind
A haze now is constricting my future self
This woman left me for someone else
And I no longer enjoy that potential career
I don't have money for that potential college
At one point, my future was set and done
But now it seems so unclear, for now

I reread what I wrote last year
And even the year before that
I still feel the same was as before
The same person, just now older
Still listening to the same music
Playing the same silly games
Watching the same TV shows
Even still having feelings for her
It has been over 2 years now
Since we went our different ways
Almost 3 years since last seeing her
And I thought the wait would end
But I told myself a lie, like I always do
I still can't move on, I don't know why
One thing I do know is I haven't changed
I'm still the same, pathetic person today
As I was a year ago, and the year before
I want to change, I want to be able to forget
But that's clearly not happening yet

I am constantly held back in life
From others or even just myself
I tend to hit a barrier fairly often
Where it takes some time to pass
All these restrictions, reoccurring
All the pain, consistent and nonstop
All the feelings, ongoing and unforgiving
And all the love, gone and ripped apart
I can simply just hear her name
And a wall of restriction is built
I can see a picture of her perfect face
And an unconquerable wall is built
All this pain, all this heartbreak
It's restricting me from my goals
From happiness, from future success
I am being held back due to this
And I must break these chains
In order to live happily ever after

I am always unlucky in life
Always stuck on the bad side
Always feeling all the pain
And always in some discomfort
I am the victim of heartbreak
I am the victim of loneliness
I am the victim of harassment
I do not enjoy being the victim
No one does

Every time I see her eyes
In a crisp, clear photograph
I feel something suddenly drop
Maybe my heart leaving my body
I just feel like breaking down
Letting the tears flow freely
But I still remain headstrong
Somehow, someway, I'm strong
I will look at a picture of her
And sometimes crack a smile
But then the memories flow in
And I collapse in undesired pain
That smile, those eyes, haunting me
So beautiful, a word a rarely say
To anyone involved in my life
Beautiful she is in every photograph
But only if these were real
The beauty will truly show
But so will my emotions
The tears, the break downs
All from a beautiful photograph