Tonight
I am going to make love to myself, to remind myself of
What I feel like.
I will hike
To the summit of my
Entirety
And entirely
******
On the ****** of my
Truths

I walk the world with thoughts of you
In every place I go
Your voice is on the winter wind
Your footprints in the snow
And every tool I try to use to scrape you from my mind
Cuts your name onto my tongue
And beats me till I'm blind
I layed my head upon your knees and breathed the air you breathed
I cut myself when you were cut to know just how you bleed
Now as I walk this empty earth with nothing but a face
To breathe me and to bleed me
Until I leave this place

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribboned wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchored safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

Innocence and bliss
Play pretend on my grandfather’s porch.
They bring laughter and joy with them
And never invite fear or worry.

I hesitate to return,
For fear that I shall never leave
Because as my childhood memories grow and expand
My fondness soon turns to envy

For I can remember a time,
A time when the world was mine.
Where everyone cheered for me
And rejoiced when I found glee

A time when Mondays meant new beginnings,
Not tardies and regrets.
When books led to happy endings,
Instead of essays and frets.

But as I set my sights ahead
It seems that some wise words are never dead
“For all children grow up, except one”
And I’m far from done.

As a wound heals and scars
So should I
Never to forget my childhood
But to simply move on.

I looked up and saw you,
You looked like a hero,
Halos of gold shined above your head,
You rebuilt roads that were broke,
You fixed every problem,
You kept together our home,
I wanted to be just like you,
My heart swelled with love for you.
I was your little solider,
I was your little helper,
I was your little friend,
I was your baby girl,
You were my best friend.
It was all to my surprise,
The man I loved with all my heart,
Didn't have love for me at all,
If he loved me, he wouldn't have done what he did,
He loved his drugs and alcohol,
He always got so mean,
Maybe he doesn't remember,
But I'll never be able to forgot what he did to me.
I still live with the broken remains,
The sad memories,
Of the love that I once had,
Now all I feel is the loss, the pain, and the break,
I've become so confused,
I can't live with what you did,
It's just to much.