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Do you feel it?
You need it.
You want it.
You* have* to have it.

Taunting
Itching
Burning
It crawls.

The urge is overwhelming.
When will I give in?
I Can’t
I must

I won’t

It’s mine
It’s ours

You dominate my life.
My desires
My hopes and aspirations.

It’s yours to tell but mine to keep.

When will I be free?
To live without this monster inside of me
Free from you and your commands
Your taunts, your bragging

The day will come and don’t you worry.
The day your taste won’t be intoxicating.
Invigorating.
Inviting.

You’ll always be mine
I will never let go
Till death do us part
To the clouds we float.
I wanted to let everyone try and figure it out, but Tina, is a street name for crystal ****. I kind of tried to show this struggle between the drug and the abuser, how the drug seems to take on a persona of its own. No, I have never been addicted to crystal **** lol but writing can take you places, so I felt like a drug addict for an afternoon. Here's the finished product.
Lately
Lately I haven't found the right words to tell you.
I want to tell you of the goodnight kisses that bring me sweet dreams.
The rhythmic goodbyes that go for a walk along the contours of my skin.

Lately
Lately I haven't found the right words to tell you.
I want to tell you of my hopes and my dreams.
The way they all have one thing in common.

Lately
Lately I haven't found the words to tell you that I can't think straight.
I talk to strangers on the street and I hope you are listening.
I talk to gardens of flowers as I pass and I hope you are listening.
I cradle my pillow at night and I hope that you can feel me, with you.

Lately
Lately I've been kinda ******* myself.
See I can't seem to forgive myself for falling for you.
For jumping off the cliff of lies you so carefully laid out for me,
and falling.
You let me fall slowly as you told me that you would never hurt me.
You let me fall deeply as you held my hand the way down.

See,
Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking
But the only thing I seem to be able to think clearly about is you.
Lately I 've come to the conclusion that you will never miss me like I miss you.
That you will never want me like  I want you.
And you will never hear me like I hear you.

So this is the conclusion I've come to.
I'm gonna fall, and I'm gonna fall fast
but I'm taking you with me, even if we crash.
You look in the mirror,
and hate what stares back at you,
so you throw a fist in blinded rage,
and the glass breaks and cuts you,
but you don't feel a thing past your misery,

You swear again and again,
that you're not worth it,
that you were never anything more than a person,
alone in a crowded room,
with nothing more to look forward to,
than a tear stained pillow case,
and the full moon,

But you're so much more,
so much more than you think you'll ever amount to,
you can be anything if you don't let anyone,
stand in the way,
and one day, you'll find that special someone,
who believes in you,
and you'll fall in love,
and nothing in the world will matter more,

And one day, you'll walk down the aisle,
and from then on be known as bride and groom,
husband and wife,
soul mates,
together until fate seperates you,
and even then you'll still love each other,
just from two different worlds,

So girls,
forget the makeup,
and remember that it's okay to wear your hair up,
and that walking around in sweatpants,
instead of skin tight jeans,
does not under any circumstances make you ugly,

For beauty isn't skin deep,
it's all about what lays underneath the exterior,
hiding from view,
and if a guy doesn't take the time,
to get to know the real you,
then he isn't worth the suffering,
so forget the ones who obsess,
over what's on the outside,
and find someone who'll take the time,
to make you a little less miserable,
and who lives to see you smile.
Because beauty isn't skin deep. It's so much more than being pretty. Because a beautiful girl with an ugly heart is nothing.
I enjoy your hugs
The spontaneous, out of the blue hugs
The "I like you" hugs
The "I want to hold onto you" hugs
I love the hugs you give me

They make my days go from bad to good
and when you leave my hands can still feel you
I can inhale and still smell the scent you leave behind

Gosh, your hugs amaze me

The " I want to stay here forever" hugs
The "I can't let you go" Hugs
The "I love you" hugs
I love the hugs
I can't get enough of them
Can't get enough of your hugs
 Jan 2013 Brandon Webb
CV
I didn’t fall in love with his mind, or his eyes, or his voice. I fell in love
with the way he could take a common question such as “what is love?”
and give me the only answer that could
break the shackles tethering me to anyone but him.
I fell in love with the way the quizzical clouds rolled over the stormy blue skies
that held all the things I did not yet know about myself, how
with one long gaze,
he raised just as many questions as he gave me answers.
I fell in love with invisible safety he effortlessly breathed
across the ivory peaks and valleys of his mouth
and one crooked tooth on the left.

He didn’t fall in love
with my heart, or my soul, or my will. He fell in love with the way
I never questioned driving across town each day
in a gas guzzling truck that gets a whopping 17 miles to the gallon.
He fell in love with the ego boost accompanying the unceasing
words cooed in affection. He fell
in love with the strings I tied around my own wrists
when I handed him the reins.

He didn’t vanish
like I expected after the last 400 kisses and prolonged embraces.
His voice didn’t sound like a stranger’s
when he called 10 minutes later.
His presence didn’t leave my life.
It remains, popping up in unexpected flashbacks,
but his physical being left me behind,
and I could feel his body leaving mine like
a magnet resisting the separation of its companion.

His presence doesn’t leave me
raw and unable to breathe like a bare body
enduring the cold winds of a winter rain. Instead,
I am forever ****** with every “what-if”
appearing like a seemingly benign tumor, but only
I can feel the malignant pressure as I lay awake at 1 in the morning
feeling the vibrations of the violent shakes
that have so tragically married the tears he used to evoke. I am cursed
to search for the one that will outshine the bright beacon of my past,
drawing me back in like a senseless insect toward the deadly light.

He is the one that has found a home in me,
the one that time can’t erase.
I saw these neighbourhoods
I grew up in these neighbourhoods
I saw these streets
I grew up in these streets
I lived passed them… sort of
I didn't end up in jail, a ******… or deceased
Still, whenever I walk through them today... I feel at home
A sense of belonging
A nostalgic longing…
To remain here forever
But realize that forever would be too long
I would be fed up by month number five
Getting high every day… getting into fist fights
That was no way to live a life
It was just about getting through the day…
Survive
Exist
Eat
Be alive
These things are very different from living
Because the devil that gives you certain heights… compliments them with issues
And he just keeps on giving
I see the junkies, a hardened lot
Taking their ‘cut’ from the public service vehicles plying their route
And woe be unto the tout that refuses to pay
For these scavengers get vicious, they scratch, punch… and loot
I call them scavengers because that’s what they seem like… true
But as I look into the crowd, their ‘gang’, I realize that I know one of them… actually two
They cross over to me; we bump fists… a way of greeting
We’re still ‘boys’, but if I were to describe them now as ‘wayward’?... Fitting
I cannot do that though
We may have taken different paths in life, but there was a time when we hang together
A time when we were young, running around these streets and I called this place home
Now, what sort of man would I be if I just upped and forgot where I came from?
*For the record, I never did that hard stuff... wasn't that dumb...
Others want to "pop yo' *****"
I want to pop the lid that hides your inner thoughts
Want them to wash over me
I'm showering in your personality
The you that you barely know
Help you discover hidden coves
Dump your anchor overboard
You've landed on the shore of the person you wish to be
Tap your heels three times
Wish to be home
Open your eyes
You're on that same shore
Scared
Thinking you're alone
Until my hand lands on your shoulder
Let's discover this jungle
You…
Good for nothing, light weighted
Changes direction according to the wind
It does not have a mind of its own
But I trusted it
To shelter and protect me
But alas…
I live in a windy city,
And it tends to be greedy
Gathering things that lie in its path,
Just like a colonizer
blowing across from one country
to another.

I pin together the sides
Of my fly away kameez/ dress
With nervous, embarrassed fingers
Pressing down, as if to close
a window or a swinging door
left unlocked on a windy day
letting black cats and dusty winds make their way.

Incontrollable weightless
It rises, it flashes
Waving like a red flag in front of a blind bull
Eyes on the Prize - You’re such a tease
I fumble carelessly
My hands desperately try
To hold down my dignity
Before it flies away,
Like a feather from a bird
That slowly descends to the floor
It is so light and so delicate.
It can be easily ripped off
and plucked away like a shriveled
dead fly away hair

I become a nervous wreck, picking at my scalp
One by one, wrapping it around my finger,
running my fingers through my hair
only to find bare skin, lying under dead hair.
Vulnerably the naked scalp peeks
through thin strands of hair
like a sheer curtain that hangs in my room
too afraid to draw it,
because I will have to put faces to the silhouettes,
And I rather know the world
as shadows and black outlines
At least that way
I won’t have to see the eyes
that pierce through me,
Unzipping my skin.
You told me that you loved me once.
Once in that year and a half that we were together.
You told me that I made you happy.
That when I was away from you nothing felt right.
But then the moment we were together again
And you put your hand in mine,
Everything was alright again.
It was as if nothing bad had ever happened.
Like the fights we had never existed.

Because we saw them for what they were,
Petty spats that spawned from ours hearts
Our hearts being so infuriated at the fact that they weren’t together
Together beating as one heart.

For that’s what we were.
We were one heart.
For without you, I felt a hole within my chest
But with you I felt complete.

But then you began to change.
Change from the sweet, quiet boy that I knew
The boy I fell in love with.
You changed into a boy of vigor and of confidence.
You told me I had given you confidence
For I made you feel worth and importance.

But your confidence turned into arrogance
An arrogance which grabbed ahold of you
And tore you away from me.
Our one heart was torn into two.
While your half grew into a full heart,
My half reminded merely a ****** piece of debris,
Debris of the love we had once shared.

I often question if our love was a real love,
But deep down I know it was.
For while romance fades,
Love does not.
I will always love the boy you were
But for now I hate the man you have become.
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