Sad news today
After 57 years of marriage
Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head
are getting a divorce

(Or is that "potatoe" as George W. would say.  I never pass up an oppertunity to make fun of that ridiculous *******)

Anyway

Divorce must be ******* a kid

I skipped that part
having never met my bio-dad

My mom was a trooper though
I was a mischevious handful

I remember when i was 4
my mom was going to paint my room
Well i had a different time table than her
So when she was unaware
i tried my hand at interior decorating

Apparently she didn't want the room
carpet and all
painted in blue and red
splashes and handprints
I got an E for effort though

Having never had a father til that point
I never knew the feeling of losing one

In those days the kid automaticaly went to the mom

Having to decide
is an awful thing for a child to have to do
And basically they have to

I love you my little pawn
Says mommy
I love you my little pawn
Says daddy

It must leave all 3 emotionally scarred

Sometimes marraiges just don't work out
What can you do?

I can only hope they draw
on their initial spark of love
to handle the situation
with the care that it needs

Stay together for the kids?
Ultimately i think that just leads to bigger scars

Respect your loved ones
Former, present and future

And for Gods sake
remember to keep your childs innocence intact

Like a sack of potatoes
So are the days of our lives

You look familiar
I'm your bride you ******* ****
Sorry i do then

"Hi. How are you?"

"He can't hear you. He's deaf"

"Oh. Sorry"...

..."Hi. How are you?
I said Hi. How are you?
HOW ARE YOU?"

I can't believe this guys ******* ignoring me

"I am the greatest poet of all time"

Wait a sec
I don't want to sound to egotistical

"I am probably the greatest poet of all time"

There

Opening your heart
to someone can be tough sometimes

I mean
who wants to go through that again?
Right?

But if we don't give someone else a key
what's it all for?

Who wants to be locked inside
by themselves all the time

And even though
that person could
come back
and use the key to get in
Maybe steal something
or wreck the place

Just change the locks
think of them as practice
and give the new key
to someone who will cherish it more

The cave was dark and hollow

"What? Ok i'm with ya so far captain obvious"

It was cold and it smelled like bat ****

"Would you listen to this guy
Who the **** is writing this?"

He wanted to go further but he was scared of the dark

"Alright! That's it. This is ****** nonsense
My turn!"

The reader followed the poet into the cave

Nails protruded through his cracked skull
pounded from the inside
by the drivle he had just read

Burning daggers dripped from his eyes
and melted into pools of lava on the cave floor

Feeling the intense heat
the poet turns around

Then suddenly
"bat ****" in his shorts

The reader unsheaths

Frozen with terror
the bat **** poet closes his eyes

When he returns from the blink
readers blade is fast against his jug

"I will spare your life if you never write again"

Whimpering
Yes. Yes. Please i'll do anything

"Well you can do whatever you want really
I'm not that much of a ****
Just no more writing"

Ok.  Ok. Just let me go!

The reader sheaths his blade
as the "bat ****" poet begins to run

"Oh
And it's gauno son
It's gauno"

What makes something real?

Is it the fact that i can use my senses
to confirm its presence?

Confirmation of this from another source maybe?



How do you know that tree is there?

Because it is

How do you know?

I can see it

Are you sure?

Yes
Hey Frank
Can you see that tree

Yes

See
There
Thats two of us
It must be there

Well what if you're both wrong?

Fine
Bob
Come here
Do you see that tree?

Yes

Ok
That's three of us
The **** tree is definitely there
Right?

Well what if Bob, Frank and yourself
are all falling for the same trick?

What if the same trigger sparks the illusion for all of you?

What if the whole planet is a tree?
What if our whole existance is a tree?

And we're just a bunch of Bob and Franks