It’s funny how these things end
Love stories and happy endings
I’ve never been the sappy romantic
And from the beginning I could have never predicted
These feelings that have grown just for you
A place in my heart that beats uncontrollably
With a ferocity unmatched by any others
Already I know I’ve become the fool to be duped
Sometimes I get scared
Sometimes I get lonely
Sometimes I get confused
And then I remember the day you held me
And you said, “We’ll be okay”
I’ve watched you carry your burdens
You’ve seen me shoulder mine
We’ve not always been the closest of friends
No secret bond to share in the closet of skeletons
No fleeting glances that could be hidden
No secret love that has been written
We’re not Romeo and Juliet
But when you walk by I still find myself smiling
I tell myself I’m not meant to feel
Not like this
And not for you
So I have to lock my heart and thoughts away
To a place where no one may see my dismay
I tried to fight it
Tried to ignore it, pretend like you weren’t right there in front of me
Too afraid to voice my feelings
Too afraid to not be loved
Maybe one day though I’ll find the courage
To live with just being friends
Just talking could be a start
Laughing and joking
I could be okay
Never asking for more
Still I’ll always find myself hoping
In the shadows of the stars
That you’ll grab my hand and smile
Before leaning in to whisper
Will you be mine?

I hear you say:
Ignorance and Apathy
Are the way to be.
(the following responses in parentheses are points I can't bring up to you because you're my father and you're perfect in morality and your sense of reality)
As evidenced by these points you brought up:
(Because ***** caring for people
Or even using logic.  What?)
Suicidal thoughts are normal. (Only because of people like you that don't care to understand what depression is... 1 in 3 will experience depression in their lifetime... I did. You only noticed after the worst of it was over after more than 6 months of screaming silently to myself in my room, crying myself to sleep and soaking my pillow. After that, you finally noticed and put your hand on my neck and simply said "I know" and never said another word.... but you obviously don't "know" or care to understand if this is how you respond to me telling you the signs of depression and desperation in a girl I'm trying to help. You implied that I'm stupid because I'm trying to fix someone's problems without a stupid ******* piece of paper that costs $80,000 and says I know what I already know... You don't have a degree in business but you've decided that you know best with that... And you do... its called learning from experience you *******)
You have no knowledge on the matter that you speak. (But I've more experience in this area that you refuse to understand. I know more than you do.  I just can't argue because you're in charge and you're perfect and you're always right.)
I know idiots like you. (******* dad... thanks for the support.)
I don't support you.  (Oh wait... never mind)
Your dreams are out of reach and you know it.  (You haven't lived my dreams so you have no knowledge on the matter that you speak *******)
You won't survive in society if you don't do things the way I learned them.  Jesus didn't  learn the way you did and He lived a better life.  I haven't learned the way you have and you're a terrible teacher when it comes to relationships and psychology anyway...  because you don't try and you still won't have the same experiences as people of our age have and will.)
You MUST submit to society (because you have no hope to change it. What? Who are you to imply I won't have the power to change the world some day?)

(And for some reason you WONDER why I don't listen to you... You put me down and make me want to cry... I've counted on one hand since high school started 2 and a half years ago that you've said "I'm proud of you" and that was because of a good report card... I think that's when I realized that was the first time I can EVER remember you saying something encouraging to me... and I haven't ever heard it since.  So forgive me if I hate the arrogant part of you that thinks you know best and that I should submit to your authority.)

Sadness is a reliable friend.  Like the dealer that gets you addicted so you won't leave.  Sweet, reliable, addicting... This is not what we look for in life, but love.  So easily manipulated, faked, unstable, but brings you the real high, happiness.   Some people chase after it. Many are disappointed. Some give up, but we have to remind ourselves that love requires commitment. Don't give up on the ones you love.

I'll never forget the way you slapped me.
Gentle. Meaningful. Seductive.
We had just started going out.
I was First Seargent, yet you were in control.
I'll never forget the look you gave me
But, honestly, I wish I could.
That's the moment I knew I'd fallen in love.
Why is it that you never know what you have... until she's gone?
Whats the point of perfection when all you can do is watch it slip away?
I wish i could take it back.
I made one incredibly stupid mistake and now you're gone...
The only thing I have left of you is...
How I still feel the sting from when
You slapped me.
Gentle. Meaningful. Seductive.

Every time I'm around you, my teeth clench
I get teary eyed when you have to hang up
When I think about you I become painfully aware
of this you sized hole in my chest
When we hug i don't want you to ever let go
Because for some reason its the only time my nuts don't hurt...

Can't stand the way I am.
Just want something to stay the same.
Now, I'm sitting alone in a crowded room.

Can't stand the way they are.
Just too easy to kick someone who's down.
Wonder if they feel the sting of their crown.

Can't stand the way love is.
Just so unfair in every way, especially when,
I think I have something finally figured out.