I gaze at him from across a sea of bowed heads.
The steady, calming voice of prayer echoing off
stained glass windows, which bring in a soft rainbowy light.
The lighting is soft, intimate,
but this distance between this man and I is not.
He is too far away.
This distance, an alluring mystery
...but also a heartbroken torture.
I long to touch this man I do not know.

Who is he?
Broad shouldered, mischievous grin, with
warm eyes that melt like caramel,
I wish I could look into them, if only for a second,
just to see what kind of soul resides within this handsome man.
For my mother always did tell me: "eyes are the windows to the soul".
I wish I could run my fingers through his hair,
which is dark, like his humor. Or so I've heard.

He walks my way, maneuvering the clusters of people expertly.
He is dressed up, snazzy like always...
as he walks by, his eyes catch mine
and his mouth quirks up
at the corner. He winks at me,
leaving me praying for the ability to breathe right.

Oh, how I long to know this man,
and kiss this man, and hold this man,
and lay in his bed in the depths of night.
His fingers entangling in mine like fresh-water kelp,
his lips my savior from drowning in the loneliness.  
Nothing else but the cricket's chirp,
moonlight's gleam, and sheet's rustle,
and the comforting warmth of his body next to mine.
I allow myself the pleasure of basking in such a bliss.

Until a blurry sun bubbles up from the horizon,
and I wake
to a pair of curious eyes drinking me in.

I wouldn't mind getting drunk off of him. No,
I would not mind one bit.

Maybe this is just a dream...
somebody pinch me so I know this is real
and not just some fantasy.

Reality pulls me back into the chasm of the church,
and as he is preparing to exit, he looks back
and we share another glance,
s t r e t c h i n g across the pews,
a lingering,
sparkling,
moment.
Searching for the cause for such curiosity
in each other's eyes.
Trying to make sense of it, I tilt my head down,
allowing myself a moment of thought.
My head snaps up, courage pulsing through my veins,
like I have just been cleansed, I feel refreshed.
I start making my way towards the doors to ask him his name,
but to my disappointment...
he is gone.

This mysterious, entrancing man has walked out.
The brightness of a rising run enveloping him,
leaving me with a mouthful of unsaid words
and a mind full of scattered imaginations.

I kneel down before God,
and pray for forgiveness
for lusting after a stranger I know nothing about
while in His presence.

And with that, shaken to my core,
I put on my mask that conceals my deepest emotions,
and go about my day like nothing ever happened.