The president loves to carry on
About his gut and how it guides him.
How can anybody believe
A word of all of his nonsense besides him?

His gut encourages him to lie
And do it while he keeps a straight face.
It helps him create far-fetched stories
To dupe and galvanize his base.

His gut is great at seeking out
The shiftiest autocrats around,
So he can make America
His autocratic proving ground.

It's also very good at distracting
The country from what is REALLY going on--
At how to attract his servile lackeys
While he plays the role of the don.

It helps him to be great at knowing
How to pander to various groups
Such as evangelicals
Who kiss his you-know-what. Oops!

His gut tells him that scientists
Are full of baloney when they proclaim
That global warming is a threat
And humankind is largely to blame.

His gut says illegal voting
Is rampant. Doesn't he find it odd
That experts have found no proof at all
Of widespread voter fraud?

His gut says he hires the best people.
That makes him SO excited.
But how many have left their jobs?
How many have been indicted?

His gut said that he could pay money
To silence affairs and get away with it.
Did his gut let him know
Whether his wife would be okay with it?

His gut tells him that as the leader
He can do what he desires,
Which must include collusion, obstruction
Of justice, and calling dissenters liars.

Yes, I agree: gut feeling
Can be useful at times, BUT
Why can't the president
Start using reason and NOT his gut?

-by Bob B (11-30-18)

Come on, guys. Use your noggins.
Don't think you could never be at fault
For inappropriate ****** behavior,
Such as committing ****** assault.

Don't let your status go to your head.
Not everyone is on the same quest with you.
Don't let your power make you think
That everybody else is obsessed with you.

For one thing, keep your clothes on until
You are 100 percent aware
That the other person you are with
Is interested in seeing you bare.

And never at the workplace, of course,
Or in the office or at work functions.
And never if either one is married!
How could you do it and not have compunctions?

Do not let delusions of grandeur
Make others have to look askance.
What it boils down to is this:
Keep your peter inside your pants!

Now if you are absolutely sure
That someone else wants to see it--
At the appropriate place, of course--
Only then can you unzip and free it.

Don't give coworkers creepy *** toys.
That sounds super gross and perverse.
But then telling them how to use them?
No, no, that's even worse!

Suggestive language, forced kisses,
Grabbing them by the private parts…
That's where respectful behavior stops
And inappropriate behavior starts.

Do not make unwanted advances
And fire someone who doesn't respond.
Don't think you're an accomplished magician
Who makes things happen by waving his wand.

Stop this ****** assault and harassment;
Develop respect for others and stay with it.
Lascivious conduct is tasteless and wrong.
(Only the president can get away with it.)

-by Bob B (12-1-17)

Have you ever prepped for a colonoscopy?
That's what I get to do today.
It means no solid food for me;
Clear broth will be my entrée.

I get to drink as much water
And juice as I want; but there's a catch:
The constant need of a toilet nearby--
A slight downside to "Down the hatch!"

Another rule: I must not let
Anything RED pass through my mouth.
Apparently, red things tend to
Cause confusion…well…down "south."

When passing by the bakery window
Where freshly-baked sweets are lying,
I know it will be torture for me
To hear my stomach growling and crying.

I do get to eat popsicles--
That is, as long as they aren't red.
Maybe I can just pretend
That they're tacos or pizza instead.

I have to STOP thinking about food.
I know my hunger pains won't last
Forever, and I can always say
I'm on a liquid and popsicle fast.

When the real clean-out starts
Later in the afternoon,
That's when the fun REALLY begins!
Help! I want this over soon!

I will spare you those details.
Just know that more adventures follow.
I'll be relieved after this prep
And my trip to the surgery center tomorrow.

(But let me warn you: I really don't
Mean to freak you out, but
Don't worry if it feels as though
You're peeing out of your you-know-what!)

The actual procedure is not that bad--
Once I get through today and tonight.
I won't feel or remember a thing;
Hopefully, I'll be out like a light.

The doctor is also performing an upper
G.I. endoscopy. I strongly hope
That when he does it, he is certain
That he's using a different scope.

Too much information? Maybe.
But if you've never done this, you
At least know all the wonderful things
You have to look forward to.

- by Bob B

“Is the glass half
Full or half empty?”
Such was the question presented to me.
It depends on whether
The glass contains
A good Cabernet or a cheap Chablis.
 
If it contains
A good Cabernet
With a bold, full-bodied, smoky flavor,
The glass is always
Half empty because
That’s an experience I want to savor.
 
If, however,
A cheap Chablis
Stares at me from the glass’s interior,
That glass is always
Half full to me,
As I endlessly sip a wine that’s inferior.
 
What? You say
That I don’t get it—
That I am trying to redefine
The meaning behind
The expression? I say:
Just shut up and hand me my wine!
 
- by Bob B

Halloween was always one of my
Favorite nights of the year,
Although the waiting was torturous
As the date drew near.

What to wear? was always the question.
Not rich enough to be trendy,
We put together makeshift costumes,
And Dad would always pretend he

Didn't have enough money
To spend on fancy treats.
"Besides," he said, "my theory
Is basically sweets are sweets."

We didn't have Darth Vader back then;
Kids were pirates and cats,
Skeletons, hobos, cowboys and Indians,
Devils, witches, and bats.

Mummies, scarecrows, fairies, clowns--
Whatever we could devise.
Many kids were simply ghosts
In sheets with holes for eyes.

Ah, the treats: chocolate coins,
Cookies, Milky Ways,
Popcorn *****, candy corn,
Necco Wafers for days,

Abba-Zabas, Tootsie Rolls,
Bubble gum cigars,
Licorice, Candy cigarettes,
And Snickers candy bars.

We got Double Bubble in packs,
Taffy, Cup-O-Gold,
Milk Duds, Jujifruits--
A mountain of treats all told.

The experts had TWO costumes
And made the rounds twice,
As if one giant bag of candy
Was never going to suffice.

Back at home we'd pour out our candy,
And then the bartering started.
Since I had two older brothers,
I was usually outsmarted.

Mom and Dad let us monitor
Our own candy stash,
And we survived the candy feast
Without a sugar crash.

Until I was fourteen years of age,
I'd never had a cavity,
Despite living in Candyland
In utter sugar depravity.

But I can still eat candy now
And not go trick-or-treating,
Though, granted, there are more nutritious
Foods that I should be eating.

- by Bob B

The cauldron bubbles and sputters and pops.
Odors from a foul witches' brew
Fill the mansion. It's called the Nightmare
On Pennsylvania Avenue.

A ghoulish warlock babbles gibberish,
Spreading deceit, anger, and fear.
He summons his lackey ghouls to his chamber.
They bow to the ghastly profiteer.

Their incantations reverberate
Through the rooms and down the halls.
The din stifles the voices of reason
And bounces off the windows and walls.

Witches assisting the grisly assembly
Grovel and spew nonsensical chatter,
While friendly ghosts, horrified,
Grab all their belongings and scatter.

The leading warlock raises his staff
To silence all the ear-piercing shrieking.
"Our work here has barely begun,"
He shouts, "in a manner of speaking.

"We have a lot more poison to spread
To circulate anxiety and doubt.
All we must do is stir the ***
To give them something to worry about.

"Fan the flames of division and discord.
My techniques are tried and true.
Keep 'em guessing; then you've got 'em.
And then you cater to the chosen few.

"We have more rivers to poison,
Coastlines to alter, lands to sell,
Coffers to fill, coffers to rob,
And voices to quiet. Welcome to hell!"

The glowering sycophants dance and cheer--
Thirsty for blood, eyes agleam.
"Dishonesty is the best
Policy," they fervently scream.

Oh, it's a frightening Halloween night
When one's worst nightmare comes true:
The gruesome, macabre, spine-chilling Nightmare
On Pennsylvania Avenue.

-by Bob B (10-31-18)

Halloween night 2015--
A bevy of goblins and ghouls
Out there in the dark of the night
Met to shape their new rules.

"Let us unite! Let us be one
In our quest to upset the truth."
Their work, they agreed, would come to fruition
In a future polling booth.

"Stir the cauldron of rampant despair;
Throw in confusion and doubt.
Add a pinch of oblivion so no one
Knows what we're about.

Let us deceive with facile duplicity;
Let us trick the unwary.
Above all, don't let them see our true selves.
THAT, fellow ghouls, would be scary!"

Their voices rose in the crisp autumn darkness--
A murky, grumbling chant:
"Hiss. Hiss. Ignorance is bliss.
Woe to them who recant….

"Let us be amorphous and vague;
Let them see what we're not.
Give us the power of doublespeak
To dodge all critical thought."

Werewolves howled. Black cats screeched.
A haunting moan filled the air.
A poor, disoriented bat got tangled
In one ghoul's corn-tassel hair.

"May we strengthen our power to mislead--
To obliterate those who defy us
With vicious attacks based on lies.
We'll let nothing get by us.

"Let us prolong the witching hour.
May it last for a years!
Stir the *** of forgetfulness,"
They all said with sneers.

Halloween night 2015--
A frightening night to remember.
Beware the ghoul leading the pack
In 2016 in November.

- by Bob B

This past Halloween week
In Washington was eerie.
For some in particular
The atmosphere was dreary.

Dressed up in their holiday best--
Though feeling somewhat slighted--
Manafort and protégé Gates
Both were indicted.

George Papadopoulos caused
Jitters and frustration
As proactive collaborator
In Mueller's investigation.

John Kelly's reputation
Has really started to slump
Since he's donned the costume of
A puppet of Donald Trump.

Kelly said--and this caused people
To gasp and roll their eyes--
The Civil War was caused by
A failure to compromise.

Compromise on slavery?
Tell me how that's done?
Instead of having forty-two slaves,
You get twenty-one?

Jeff Sessions’ costume made
The beholder have to guess
Whether it was perjury
Or handy forgetfulness.

Trump presented himself as a man
Whose memory is the best--
At least until reporters put
His memory to a test.

He laments that he can't do
What he wants, and that
Means not being president but
A powerful autocrat.

Republicans in Congress, dressed
As scary goblins and ghouls,
Put forth a tax plan, which
Changes many rules.

If you carefully look at their draft
And see through their pitch,
You will see their plan basically
Favors the very rich.

Halloween was far from being
Bland or ordinary.
One could argue that this year
It was downright scary.

-by Bob B (11-4-17)

Say good-by to the old year;
Say hello to the new.
Let go of the past and try to recast
A new and exciting you.
Say good riddance to all of your worries;
Start out fresh and clean.
Strive to find peace of mind
In TWENTY SEVENTEEN.

The past year was a messy one
With floods in the Midwest.
Then the ruler of North Korea,
Who has to be possessed
And thumbs his nose at the world and is
Always involved in a tussle,
Exploded a hydrogen bomb, thus
Flexing his little muscle.
LGBT and voting rights
Were both under attack.
Horrible massacres occurred
In Pakistan and Iraq.
In Syria and Afghanistan
Massacres happened as well.
And Jerusalem and Saudi Arabia
Both had a taste of hell.

Record-breaking blizzards made
The East cold and wet.
Scaring the world, the Zika virus
Continued to be a threat.
The water in Flint, Michigan,
Was an ongoing crisis.
Ancient ruins in the Middle East
Were STILL being bombed by ISIS.
The Clinton e-mail "scandal" grew
To ridiculous proportions.
More and more states were killing
Women's rights to abortions.
President Erdogan in Turkey
Cracked down on the press.
In the South China Sea, China
Was causing a lot of distress.

Britain voted to leave the EU.
Obama went to Japan
And visited Hiroshima--
A long-overdue plan.
Russia hacked U.S. computers
And boasted of certain connections,
Making us wonder how much control
We have over elections.
Summer record-breaking heat
Baked many states,
While the media bombarded us
With presidential debates.
The Summer Olympics took place this year
In lovely Rio, but mercy!
It's always hard to pull that off
Without some controversy.

This year we lost some famous people--
Too many to list.
Bowie, Ali, Leonard Cohen
And others will be missed.
(By the way, if memories here
Tend to focus on bad things,
Just remember that life is full
Of both happy and sad things.)
The economy has made improvements;
Unemployment is down.
Some businesses, they say,
Are really going to town.
Many people want to know
How much Donald Trump earns;
The billionaire still refuses
To show us his tax returns!

Fires raged in California.
In Oklahoma the land
Shook from fracking quakes, which
Are getting out of hand.
Protesters demonstrated
Together at Standing Rock
The oil pipeline coming their way.
They gathered round the clock.
Hurricane Mathew slammed hard
Into our eastern coast.
But Glenn Beck's conversion was
What shocked us the most,
Next to the presidential election,
That is. What a surprise!
And to think the unthinkable happened
Right before our eyes!

But say good-by to the old year;
Say hello to the new.
Let go of the past and try to recast
A new and exciting you.
Say good riddance to all of your worries;
Start out fresh and clean.
Strive to find peace of mind
In TWENTY SEVENTEEN.

- by Bob B (12-28-16)

The 4th of July is here, and though
We haven't reached our goal,
We have still made headway getting
COVID under control.

A year ago, times were scary,
But I'll go out on a limb
To say that 2021
Is looking a lot less grim.

However, the Delta variant's spreading;
We must be on our guard.
Wherever we are vulnerable
It leaves its calling card.

And so enjoy your barbecue,
Potato salad and pie.
Party wisely, and have a safe
And happy 4th of July.

-by Bob B (7-4-21)

Hey! Coronavirus here.
Again, please call me Mr. C.
I am planning to hang around
And be your holiday VIP.

You know how I like big crowds,
And this, I say, is worth repeating:
Halloween is finally here,
And I'll be out there trick-or-treating.

It really disappoints me when
People impose gathering bans.
The president appears to be
One of my most supportive fans.

I've already visited
The White House grounds. An easy task--
Mainly because I love it when
People do not wear a mask.

I get around quite easily;
Misinformation helps me thrive.
Notice that I'm breaking records.
Aww, come on and give me five.

Some think that denying my presence
Will stop me from seeking out my hosts.
That's about as effective as
Building bonfires to ward off ghosts.

If you don't bump into me
On All Saints' Eve, or Halloween,
Other holidays soon follow.
I CAN'T resist a party scene.

Excuse me, but I have to go;
I have a lot of work to do.
Maybe I'll see you on Halloween night
When I sneak up and shout out, "Boo!"

-by Bob B (10-29-20)

A couple decided to stop
To look for some books in a shop.
Content with just four,
They walked out the door
With "*** After Sixty" on top.

The wife sat down and read through it.
"Honey," she said, "let's pursue it.
I like the suggestions,
But one of my questions
Is DO you think YOU can still do it?"

-by Bob B (5-12-22)

Why is it easy to put on the pounds
But so **** hard to lose?
It's always a breeze to pass on the peas,
But ice cream is hard to refuse.

Often we catch ourselves driving too fast;
Are we ever driving too slow?
Our brains are less like a Rafael
And more like a Vincent van Gogh.

Time plods along when we're waiting in line
But races when we're having fun.
As hard as we try to stick to a budget,
There's usually cost overrun!

Medical costs are so Brobdingnagian;
Why can't they be Lilliputian?
It's easy to make but tough to keep
A New Year's resolution.

Doesn't it also seem easy to sink
Yet hard to stay afloat?
Finding the exact words is a challenge;
It's a cinch to misquote.

Love--it seems--should be so simple.
Why is there so much hate?
Being early is usually good,
But sometimes you want to be late.

Life's little inconsistencies:
Always a daily test…
All we can do is go with the flow
And try to do our best.

- by Bob B

Mike Pence paid a visit
To the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota.
Does the man have any sense?
Apparently, not one iota.

Everyone else around him was wearing
A mask, but oh, no, not he.
And he is supposed to be leading the COVID-
Nineteen task force. What a VP!

He said he wanted to thank people
By looking at them right in the eye.
He can't do that while wearing a mask?
His reasoning's hard to justify.

If eye contact while wearing protection
Is hard for him, then we should ask
If someone could PLEASE show the man
How to properly wear a mask!

He also stood very close to others.
Does the man not understand
What social distancing means? I guess
He lives in Michael's Wonderland.

Or does he think that God will protect him
From getting the virus because of prayer?
God would probably think, "Fool!
I had masks made for you to wear!"

Leaders ought to lead by example.
Sadly, Trump and his admin would rather
Provide us with mixed messages
And lies as on and on they blather.

-by Bob B (4-29-20)

Hats off to the patriots
Who aren't afraid to testify
In Congress during impeachment hearings.
No one needs to ask them why

They are willing to sit before Congress
And put their reputation on line,
Knowing that they'll be under attack
By people trying to undermine

Their character, virtue, honor,
And solid credibility.
As patriots, they stand tall,
But do so with humility.

Sadly, their words fall on deaf ears
Of many who do not care to hear
The truth about the man at the top--
The self-serving puppeteer.

The patriots have honored subpoenas
And NOT caved in to intimidation,
Despite being the subjects of threats,
Damaging tweets, and condemnation.

They're being grilled to expose something
About which we shouldn't be glad:
The most corrupt administration
The U.S. has ever had.

-by Bob B (11-17-19)

Have you come across a bullet ant?
I haven’t yet and hope I never do.
I know that just a single, brief encounter
Would be one that I certainly would rue.

Of all the stinging insects in the world,
This ant--it's said--inflicts the sharpest pain,
Which is so intense, the victims say,
That most attempts to soothe it are in vain.

They say the agony is similar
To that of being shot with someone's gun.
Now, I have NO idea how that feels,
But I will wager that it isn't fun.

Another thing: it takes a bit of time
For the piercing pain to go away.
It doesn’t disappear for many hours,
And even lasts for up to one whole day.

In Central and in South America,
These inch-long scary ants have lived and thrived.
And frankly, if I never ever meet one,
I have to say that I won't feel deprived.

Of course, we have our critters in the city:
The roach, the spider, fly, and bumblebee.
That's okay, but I am adamant
When I say jungle living's not for me.

-by Bob B (8-8-21)

As National Security Adviser
H.R. McMaster walks out the door,
A hungry hawk circles the White House.
Watch it dive; watch it soar.

The hawk has a name: John Bolton,
Conspiracy theorist of long standing;
Reckless, far-right ideologue.
In April the hawk will be landing.

Bolton, who's openly advocated
Preemptive nuclear war with two
Countries--Iran and North Korea--
Will glide in and land on cue.

Once a leading cheerleader
Of the war in Iraq, Bolton, whose theory
Is war first, diplomacy second,
Should cause the rest of us to be leery.

Pushing military involvement
And advocating change of regime
Would only encourage the president
To set in motion a dangerous scheme.

In 2013, Bolton uttered
Words that show where his loyalties lie
As he hailed the new era of freedom
In PUTIN's Russia! What a guy!

So Bolton nested near the president--
A man whose ego couldn't be bigger,
Who doesn't follow judicious advice
And has his finger on the trigger--

Makes the whole world feel uneasy.
How scary could things get?
Prepare yourself for turbulent times
Because you ain't seen nothin' yet.

-by Bob B (3-23-18)

From an enormous ocean of voices
Loudly emerges the voice of reason,
Telling you that fighting injustice
Has nothing to do with disloyalty or treason.

When a veil of confusion covers
Truth, depriving it of clarity,
The veil must be lifted so that
Honesty vanquishes insincerity.

When a foggy mist of deception
Completely obscures the seeker's view,
Doubt and uncertainty linger on
Until the light of truth breaks through.

A word that appears to be innocuous,
Can, depending on its source,
Manifest repercussions
With damaging, destructive force.

Don't be deceived by cunning distractions--
By sirens luring you to your doom.
Don't be afraid to stay the course
When clouds of intimidation loom.

Allowing you to see more clearly,
The true voice of reason will guide you--
Whether it calls you from the distance,
Or whether it comes from deep inside you.

- by Bob B (2-8-17)

You think you're healthy and in good shape.
Cholesterol is low.
Blood pressure is not a problem.
You've got some get-up-and-go.

You go on a daily four-mile walk.
You eat as well as you can.
Fruits and vegetables are both
Part of your daily plan.

Yes, you like your sweets; you feel
Life must have some perks.
You try to balance the good with the bad
And always hope that it works.

Avoiding stressful debt, you live
Comfortably in the black.
And then without any warning, what happens?
You have a heart attack!

Life we know is full of surprises.
Expect the unexpected.
It's strange how a problem with one's heart
Could long go undetected.

The help from paramedics and doctors
And nurses--I can say--
Has given me a new lease on life,
For I am alive today.

A stent in a major artery lets
The blood flow near the heart.
I hope that no more blockages
Will show up in my chart.

Although our bodies are strong and resilient,
It is also said
That despite our resiliency,
We hang by the thinnest thread.

I hope my ticker keeps on ticking,
Displacing some of my fears;
And may the beats continue to sound
For many, many years.

-by Bob B (4-2-23)

You think you're healthy and in good shape.
Cholesterol is low.
Blood pressure is not a problem.
You've got some get-up-and-go.

You go on a daily four-mile walk.
You eat as well as you can.
Fruits and vegetables are both
Part of your daily plan.

Yes, you like your sweets; you feel
Life must have some perks.
You try to balance the good with the bad
And always hope that it works.

Avoiding stressful debt, you live
Comfortably in the black.
And then without any warning, what happens?
You have a heart attack!

Life we know is full of surprises.
Expect the unexpected.
It's strange how a problem with one's heart
Could long go undetected.

The help from paramedics and doctors
And nurses--I can say--
Has given me a new lease on life,
For I am alive today.

A stent in a major artery lets
The blood flow near the heart.
I hope that no more blockages
Will show up in my chart.

Although our bodies are strong and resilient,
It is also said
That despite our resiliency,
We hang by the thinnest thread.

I hope my ticker keeps on ticking,
Displacing some of my fears;
And may the beats continue to sound
For many, many years.

-by Bob B (4-2-23)

(For some reason, I found this poem in my DRAFTS. I guess I hadn't "published" it for public eyes, and it sat, along with 25 or so of my other poems, in my DRAFTS folder until today. Sorry about the delay.)

Trump and his infamous tweets.
Boy is he on a roll!
Have leaders ever had such
A lack of impulse control?

He couldn't tweet just a simple
New Year's greeting to all.
In typical Trumpian fashion
He had to have the gall

To also address his "enemies"--
All of the people who
"Lost so badly" and
"Don't know what to do."

His rambling tweets show
How much he lacks the potential
For rising to the occasion
And being presidential.

They also demonstrate
A definite want of lucidity.
Might his real enemy
Be his own stupidity?

- by Bob B (1-2-17)

If we are a compassionate land
That genuinely cares about others,
We shouldn't separate families
And rip kids out of the arms of their mothers

And then place them in foster care,
Or in what John Kelly would call
"Whatever," thus allowing the Trump
Administration to play hardball.

Refugees seeking asylum:
Look at how we cruelly mistreat them.
They follow the rules and knock on our door,
And then look at how we greet them?

Ah, so being cruel is supposed
To be a deterrent. That will explain
Why certain leaders feel that they
Can justify being inhumane.

The children--one was just a year old--
Are often taken to different states!
In both the mother and in the children,
Imagine the trauma that this creates.

And then Trump further muddies the waters--
Playing the usual Trumpian game--
And writes an obnoxious tweet saying
That Democrats are the ones to blame!

My country 'tis of thee, it's not our liberty
Or our humanity of which we sing.
Don't spout that righteous stuff, for we have had enough.
If it's all just a bluff, to what can we cling?

-by Bob B (5-26-18)

How much more of this can we take?
How can people stand idly by
While major atrocities are being
Committed and STILL turn a blind eye?

Parents are still being separated
From their children at our border.
The Trump administration is
Ruthlessly carrying out the order.

We hear the children cry for their mami,
Cry for their papi, and what do we do?
We put them in cages and tents, heedless
Of all of the pain they are going through.

Secretary Nielsen has tried
To justify the hard-line position,
Blaming the victims and giving excuses
As to the importance of the mission.

White nationalist Stephen
Miller must be jumping for joy
As he achieves his goal: provoking
Anybody he can annoy.

AG Sessions cites the Bible
To find support for his devilish deeds.
At the same time, authorities
Are confiscating rosary beads.

John Kelly is all for it.
He thinks being cruel is fine
When you badly need a deterrent
To keep people from crossing the line.

Spineless Republican members of Congress
Worry about offending Trump's base.
Dragging their feet on the issue, they
Don't care if they're a disgrace.

Meanwhile, the suffering
Continues. Children--traumatized--
Are innocent victims. This is what happens
When human rights are compromised.

-by Bob B (6-19-18)

A heat wave has hit.
While some people are boasting
About their cool air,
In our house we're roasting.

Fans help a little.
But frankly I have found
That all they tend to do
Is blow hot air around.

People say, "Be cool!
No reason to fret."
Easy for them to say.
I hate to sweat!

I have to tell myself
If I'm crabby and terse,
That I should feel lucky.
Things could be much worse.

A wise man once said,
"Here's some food for thought:
When it's cold, be cold;
When it's hot, be hot."

Wise words, I thought.
I'll apply them now,
As I downed my water
And wiped the sweat from my brow.

Still, when winter comes,
I know my thoughts will teeter,
And you'll be sure to find me
Shivering by the heater.

-by Bob B (8-31-17)

The concept of heaven titillates,
Bewilders and often befuddles.
Imagining how it operates
Leaves one in tangles and muddles.

Think of a woman whose husbands have numbered
At least two or three.
In heaven will they all be together?
How awkward that would be!

Let's say you want servants galore
To cater to every desire.
Is there perchance a sign on the Gates
That reads "Servants for Hire"?

If HER idea of heaven would mean
Being forever with HIM,
But HIS wishes do not include HER,
Her chances of bliss will be slim.

Though harp music is fine now and then,
Too much would be cloying.
But whiny, screechy electric guitars
Could also become annoying.

If winning's your thing, then heaven's for you,
Whatever the sport you choose.
But if you win, don't forget:
Somebody has to lose.

If for a dog heaven would be
Forever chasing cats,
Paradise for a cat might be
A constant supply of rats.

That would be fine and dandy for dogs
As far as we can tell.
For cats, however, the dogs' heaven
Would end up being cat hell.

The more you think about the idea,
The more it gets confusing.
You can try to figure it out,
But you can't win for losing.

- by Bob B

During a recent interview,
Donald Trump presented a slice
Of what he would do in a second term.
Before, he said, he was far too nice.

Nice? My goodness! If that's what he calls
Being nice, then when he's mean
He will be a thousand times
More obnoxious and more obscene!

He says he'll use the military
To round up millions for deportation,
As though hard-working immigrants
Are a serious threat to our nation!

Funds appropriated by Congress--
He says---he will refuse to release.
The functions of the office that studies
Possible future pandemics will cease.

Our independent judiciary
Soon will be a thing of the past,
For Trump will control the DOJ.
Its role under him will be recast.

States will be able to monitor
Pregnancies, he says; what's more,
The number of prosecutions of those
Defying abortion bans will soar.

He will deploy the national guard
To any place that he sees fit.
His staff will have to back the Big Lie;
Good riddance to those who challenge it.

He plans to gut the civil service.
Loyalty and THAT alone
Will be what he demands of all--
The image for all to bow down to: his own.

On hearing Trump's alarming words,
It's really hard to comprehend
That if you love democracy,
How your hair would NOT stand on end.

-by Bob B (5-2-24)

He came home from the Middle East
A depressed and very different man,
After having served a tour
In Iraq and one in Afghanistan.

At one time an athlete with a hopeful future
And mentor to his cheering peers,
He struggled now to balance his memories
With the dismal, heavy weight of tears.

Tears that suddenly came from nowhere
Drenched his pillow. A panic would sweep
Through his body making him dread
The nights and the thought of falling asleep.

The outbursts of anger frightened him more;
They frightened his wife and children as well.
Avoidance and withdrawal only seemed
To aggravate his daily hell.

People and places constantly triggered
Painful memories of war and death.
Loud noises would send him through
The roof and make him gasp for breath.

Walking down a city street,
He'd have a flashback and quickly duck.
His heart would race until he gained
Control of his fears that had run amok.

The doctors diagnosed his condition:
Battle fatigue, or PTSD.
They had a list of remedies.
Of course, there was no guarantee.

Serotonin reuptake
Inhibitors failed to do the trick.
And tricyclic antidepressants
Made him feel listless and sick.

Tranquilizers and neuroleptics
Caused him to be more confused.
Prazosin and propranolol
Prescriptions both remained unused.

When the pills failed to help him,
Alcohol became his friend.
At least temporarily;
The haunting nightmares wouldn't end.

His family suffered along with him.
His friends slowly drifted away.
Who had time to spend with someone
Whose life was in such disarray?

His plaques and medals on his walls
Made his pain more acute.
His isolation made him feel
Emotionally destitute.

Cognitive behavior therapy!
That's what a doctor recommended.
The desperate man acquiesced.
He said he'd go, but just pretended.

He dropped the kids off at the sitter's,
Drove back home, texted his wife,
Held his pistol to his head,
Squeezed the trigger, and ended his life.

The president says detention centers
Are in "good shape," despite the fact
That many asylum seekers spend
Days in cages, jam-packed.

Hello out there!
Does anybody care?

Pence visits the border and says
Everything's fine, which is INSANE.
He's says the treatment of people in cages
Is both compassionate AND humane!

Hello out there!
Does anybody care?

The president continues to
Defy congressional oversight.
Encouraging others to do it as well,
He thinks that what he's doing is right.

Hello out there!
Does anybody care?

When neo-Nazis are invited
To White House summits, it is clear
That things are totally out of control.
We have a real problem here.

Hello out there!
Does anybody care?

When men are accused of ****** assault,
The President does what he can
To castigate the accusers and say
The real victim is the man.

Hello out there!
Does anybody care?

When lies come out of the White House daily,
The truth becomes a jumbled mess.
When journalists try to sort things out,
The president demonizes the press.

Hello out there!
Does anybody care?

When we live our comfy lives,
Ignoring the pain that others face,
Our ignorance and lack of compassion
Don't augment the human race.

Hello out there!
Does anybody care?

-by Bob B (7-13-19)

According to Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm,
When Grandma wasn't feeling so good,
Mom packed up some wine and cake
And sent it with Little Red Riding Hood

To Grandma's house, deep in the forest.
Along the path Little Hood met
The hungry Wolf who ultimately
Taught her a lesson she'd never forget.

Having devoured Grandma, and now
Waiting to eat the grandchild as well,
The Wolf couldn't stop thinking about
Gobbling up the little belle.

We all know that Little Hood
Ended up in the Wolf's big belly,
Along with Grandma. It must have been
A place overly cramped and smelly.

A hunter came by and saved the day
By putting an end to the dangerous ****.
Grandma enjoyed her cake and *****;
The Wolf became the hunter's rug.

My favorite moral is as follows:
When Grandma is sick and lying supine,
To help raise her spirits, take her
A little cake and a bottle of wine.

-by Bob B (5-5-20)

As you sit at your table on Thanksgiving Day
Voraciously gorging yourself on your feast,
Remember those who are suffering
In a proxy war in the Middle East.

The poor Yemenis have died by the thousands.
Many are on the brink of starvation.
Fourteen million, some people say,
Experience serious deprivation.

Blockades limit badly needed
Medical supplies and food.
It's a humanitarian crisis
Of unspeakable magnitude.

Warring ideologies place
Innocent people in between.
Yes, people are still committing
Atrocities in twenty eighteen!

A hospital hit by Saudi bombs…
A school bus blown to bits…
How many more will die before
Responsible parties call it quits?

Cholera is pervasive, and drugs
Cannot get to the people who need them.
Babies are dying because their mothers
Cannot produce the milk to feed them.

As of now our president
Would rather keep an open door
To weapons sales to Saudis instead
Of trying to stop the ghastly war.

Don't just send your thoughts to Yemen;
Let your thoughts turn into actions,
Lest your sincere hopes for peace
End up being worthless abstractions.

-by Bob B (11-22-18)

Hercules is the alley cat
Who stalks the alleys at night
And climbs into the trash containers
To find a tasty bite.

“Cat food is a bore,” he says,
“And doesn’t suit my taste.
Besides,” he adds, “it’s silly to let
Good food go to waste.”

The local cats admire his skills
To manage on his own
And how he’s able to clean remaining
Meat off any bone.

Before the trash collectors come by
To empty the bins, ol’ Herc
Rummages through the open containers,
Keeping busy at work.

Rodents are no match for him
When he’s in the mood
To supplement his diet with
A fresher type of food.

“Residents don't,” he says with sigh,
“Appreciate us cats.
Because of our great diligence,
The streets have fewer rats.

“A problem nowadays," he laments--
“A definite no brainer--
Is how to manage when there is
A lid on the trash container.

“You must learn to be dexterous, agile,
Sneaky, snappy, and clever."
Some give up when they are challenged,
But Hercules will never!

It's said that Herc often receives
The blame for being a pater
After encounters with lady cats--
Sixty-some days later.

“I’m known for being promiscuous,
But that is just a rumor,”
He says with a wink to let us know
He has a sense of humor.

“It’s dangerous at night,” he says,
“For there’s a threatening owl
That flies in from the park, and dogs
Are always on the prowl.

“In order to survive in life--
You can take it from me--
You always need alternatives--
What you call Plan B.

“I am an expert at dodging and prancing;
My skills are hard to beat.
When YOU take a fall, are you always
Able to land on your feet?

"Fate has given me obstacles,
Which I call my 'Labors.'
If you don't believe me, well,
Just ask all the neighbors."

So Hercules, or Herc, if you will,
While not seeking fame,
Hopes that he, nevertheless,
Can live up to his name.

-by Bob B (2-10-20)

We humans love to speculate,
And many have contended
That they are certain what happens after
Their current life has ended.

Some people think we'll find our reward,
And we'll forever dwell
In paradise, unless we go
The other direction--to hell.

Some believe in purgatory--
A type of stop-off station.
In order to proceed we must
Undergo purgation.

Some insist that we return
To Earth as another being--
That each person's past lives have
Shaped the person we're seeing.

Some might call it consciousness
That undergoes a rebirth.
Others say that heaven and hell
Both exist on Earth.

Some trust that our spirit continues
To live in a type of suspension
Until we can be freed from that
Parallel dimension.

Some people feel that we will all
Cross to the "other Shore,"
Returning to the essence of what
We were once before.

Some conclude that this is it,
So live life while you can,
For we are just a part of Nature's
Vast, infinite plan.

We can believe whatever we want.
That's fine, I suppose.
But what happens after this life ends?
Frankly, no one knows.

-by Bob B (9-28-20)

Tired of hearing news about COVID?
You THOUGHT it was going away? Not true.
You might be tired of hearing about it,
But it's not tired of hearing about you.

The Delta variant is spreading here
At what we see is a frightening speed.
In other words, what we are seeing
Is a Delta-strain stampede.

Fifty-eight percent of current
Cases here are Delta related.
The seriousness of the spreading virus
Can in no way be overstated.

Meet Blake B. from the state of Georgia,
Only 24-years old.
He thought he would wait for his
Vaccination, when lo and behold

He came down with COVID and has
Spent three months in a hospital bed.
He needed a double-lung transplant,
And who knows what else lies ahead?

COVID's an opportunistic virus;
It doesn't respond to demands and orders.
It seeks out fertile territories
And pays no attention to labels and borders.

Recently, Missouri has been
In big trouble, for COVID is spreading.
The situation there is precisely
What most of the experts have been dreading.

Florida's also being hit hard.
And yet some wear T-shirts that read
"Don't Fauci my Florida!"--
A rather stupid saying indeed.

You could survive the virus; however,
Long-haul COVID is still a concern.
You may think you're ahead of the game,
But don't forget: the tables may turn.

Misinformation spreads as fast
As COVID does, which is depressing.
Social media seems to have
Become more of a curse than a blessing.

But masks and social distancing
Are both still effective means
To stay protected from the virus
Without or even WITH vaccines.

Knowing that COVID's preventable
Now that we have a vaccination
Should make everybody want
To put an end to the devastation.

-by Bob B (7-15-21)

"****! She's calling me again.
Doesn't she know I'm not in the mood?
If I have to go to her,
It had better involve some food.

"Not that same old brand again!
What if I merely walk away?
Will she get the point of what
I am trying to convey?

"No, my tactic isn't working.
That's no way to treat a cat!
Don't forget that we felines
Created the art of *** for tat.

"Clothes just out of the dryer--
A perfect place to curl up
Until she rudely disturbs my slumber
And yells out, 'No, no, Buttercup!'

" 'Buttercup.' What a name!
I would rather my name be
Nefertiti or Cleopatra.
But 'Buttercup' she stuck on me.

"Oh, well, I get even.
When guests come, I just hide.
They will meet me on MY terms.
After all, I've got my pride.

"Once she gave me a catnip toy
Then took it away. Don't know why.
She probably realized
That catnip sort of made me high.

"Yesterday she yelled at me.
I broke her favorite figurine.
I thought it was for me to play with.
Talk about a crazy scene!

"Today I'd better walk on eggshells;
I'll have to mind my p's and q's.
I need to find a place where I
Can lie undisturbed and snooze.

"She thinks I'll protect her from
Little critters. She's so trusting.
But I won't go near a rat.
They're so utterly disgusting!

"Maybe I'd better stop complaining,
Although it's part of my nature to grouse.
If she isn't TOO annoying,
I will let her stay in my house."

- by Bob B (3-20-17)

It happened here in America:
If over our history books one pores,
He or she will find that ****
Sympathizers were on our shores.

Back in the 1930s and 40s,
While Naziism was on the rise
In Europe, there were Americans
Who eagerly bought into ******'s lies.

Henry Ford was one who had
Ideas we would call extreme.
He often spoke of the "Jewish threat"
And sympathized with the **** regime.

Charles Lindbergh also expressed
Racist beliefs. He was a critic
Of entering into a war against ******
And held views that were anti-Semitic.

Charles Coughlin,° a Catholic priest,
Spoke out loudly against the Jews.
Using radio waves, he reached
Millions with his pro-fascist views.

Philip Johnson°° was linked to Coughlin.
Fascist ideas were right up his alley.
He wrote anti-Semitic pieces
And went to many a **** rally.

Even Walt Disney attended some
Pro-**** meetings before the war
And gave a tour of his studio to
A **** director. Hmmm. What for?

The **** propaganda machine
Spread its misinformation here,
And law enforcement agencies
Were reluctant to interfere.

One goal was to keep the U.S.
Out of the war, for ****** knew
That if America entered the war,
He'd likely lose World War II.

The other goal: to cause the people
To bathe in their anger, so to speak,
To turn the people against one another
In order to make the country look weak.

Now that we have the Internet,
Propaganda can spread even faster.
And when it comes to creating chaos,
We know that Vladimir Putin's a master.

What should we do? Become informed,
Keep our eyes open, and stay alert.
Letting propaganda destroy us
Is a disaster we MUST avert.

-by Bob B (6-8-24)

°He was known as "the radio priest" and was a mass media demagogue.
°°An architect and active supporter of ******'s Third ***** and even as of 1964 said ****** was "better than Roosevelt."

We'd often see her in the neighborhood,
Taking her friendly dog for a walk.
Always affable, upbeat, and cheerful,
Pat was eager to stop and talk.

Life keeps us busy and occupies
Our days with issues, both great and small.
Suddenly, it occurred to me:
For weeks I hadn't seen Pat at all.

Deep down inside I had a bad feeling.
Always so visible, yet suddenly not there,
She had me worried because of her absence.
I wanted to ask and yet didn't dare.

A neighbor's words ended the mystery:
"Pat died eight weeks ago."
The information confirmed my fears;
The shocking news still came as a blow.

You can grieve the loss of another
Even though you weren't close friends.
Whatever you shared will be no more;
It's always sad when a life ends.

When I go out, I will still see her,
Walking Buddy with a smile on her face.
Her loving memory will be--I hope--
One that time will not efface.

- by Bob B

It really seems that COVID's here to stay.
A virus isn’t easy to contain.
Vaccinations help keep it at bay,
But battles with its variants remain.

Trying to avoid it is a chore,
But certainly it's worth it in the end.
Sometimes it's a daily tug-o-war:
Reminding folks that COVID's not their friend.

People act as though it's disappeared,
And many folks have thus let down their guard.
What they're doing is that which should be feared:
Believing what is plainly a canard.

Because of strict precautions, lives were saved.
But there were far too many that were lost.
Unfortunately, many people caved,
And when we do, we do so at great cost.

For countless reasons we are who we are.
I still wonder what makes people tick
When they cavalierly choose to spar
With those who try to keep them from being sick.

So COVID's here to stay for now at least.
How much longer? Well, that's hard to tell.
Don't give up the fight till it has ceased
To threaten you and other folks as well.

-by Bob B (6-18-22)

Herman is known as a fussbudget cat.
When you observe him, right off the bat
You cannot help but notice that
He's ALWAYS sulky and cross.
He doesn't like to be nagged or disturbed.
His grouchy behavior cannot be curbed.
He is the kind who is always perturbed
If HE can't be the boss.

He likes being pampered if you obey
His orders, which means he MUST have his way.
He wants what he wants and expects no delay.
You've got to follow his rules.
He thinks that you are wrong and misguided
Unless your attention remains undivided.
People must do what he has decided;
They merely serve as his tools.

Sometimes you'll find him on top of a heap
Of clothes from the dryer, trying to sleep,
And lying there without making a peep.
If so, leave him alone.
For if you move him, boy will he howl,
Chatter and scold you and let out a yowl,
And let the world know that something's afoul,
With rage and fury full-blown.

If he's asleep on your favorite chair,
You MIGHT try to move him (though I wouldn't dare),
For if you do, you'd better beware.
He's not going to be happy.
His response will be very clear,
Far from subtle, and rather severe--
The very last thing that you'd want to hear.
And don't ask why he's so snappy.

At dinnertime, finding a meal
For Herman becomes a daily ordeal.
It can't be beef or tuna or eel,
Too wet, too soft or too hard.
It can't be greasy, slimy, too cold,
It can't be too fresh, nor can it be old,
And heaven forbid if the flavor's too bold.
Oh, and he also hates lard.

His cat box needs a daily cleaning.
Not to do so is very demeaning,
For Herman depends on careful preening
And asks, What about you?
Would you want to continue to go
In a toilet without flushing it? NO!
You can thus see why he's fussy, and so
You know the right thing to do.

Despite the bothered look on his face,
He wants to assist the human race
By letting us know that just in case
He can be of service.
Herman can catch a mouse in a flash,
Keep other critters away from the trash,
And scare away bugs when you open the sash,
Though rats can make him nervous.

If Herman's so owly, you might wonder why
People still love the obstreperous guy.
Well, there are times when he'll honestly try
To be a likable fellow.
He'll calmly lie on your lap and contently
Purr when you pet him ever so gently
And kiss your hand, which consequently
Proves he can sometimes be mellow.

-by Bob B (2-19-20)

One guy says the other guy did it;
The other guy denies it.
The world watches the back and forth
As stations televise it.

In what the one doesn't say
Much can be inferred
If the listener carefully
Examines every word.

When the other opens his mouth
Different worlds collide
As outrageous accusations
Knock the truth aside.

The first one has a sterling record;
The other one's pants are on fire.
Would you believe the first one OR
The pathological liar?

- By Bob B (6-10-17)

(This poem could be sung to the melody of Cole Porter's song "You're the Top" from ANYTHING GOES.)

The fear's gigantic;
I'm getting frantic.
Although it MIGHT make some folks squirm,
My thoughts about this are really firm:
There can't be a second term.
It's worth repeating;
I'm not retreating,
For I know there's a lot at stake.
And if my ramble
Is worth the gamble,
I can't help saying
Which choice I'd make.

He's a mess.
He's a real loser.
He's a mess.
He's a sunken cruiser.
He's a song that goes on and on; who knows how long?
He's a rotten apple,
A rusty scapple,
A deal gone wrong.

He's a car
That has lost its power.
He's a jar
Full of food that's sour.
He's a popped balloon, a sick cartoon, and yes,
You can't help but see how truly
He's a mess!

He's a mess.
He is Batman's Joker.
He's a grade--
Worse than mediocre.
He's a cloudy day that's so cold and gray in spring.
He is Putin's BFF,
Hannibal Lecter's chef,
A ding-a-ling!

He's the score
Of the team that's losing.
He's a joke
That is not amusing.
So much separates the candidates. I'll stress:
One should NEVER vote for Trump 'cause
He's a mess!

-by Bob B (10-19-24)

“Hey there, Mr. Slug! Why do you like my cymbidiums?
Why don’t you dine on the dandelions that so abundantly grow?”
“Well, Mr. Bob, your cymbidiums are so delicious,
And your weeds are not so agreeable. I feel you ought to know.”
 
“Hey there, Mr. Termite! Why do you like my house?
Why can’t you chomp on the neighbors’—the one with such beautiful wood.”
“Well, Mr. Bob, your house is so nutritious;
Your neighbors’ house has been treated, and it doesn’t taste so good.”
 
“Hey there, Mrs. Whitefly! Do you have to **** my hibiscus?
What’s wrong with the morning glories that cover the neighbors’ fence.”
“Well, Mister Bob, hibiscus plants are enticing;
If I feasted on the others, I’d lack some common sense.”
 
“Hey there, Mr. Aphid! Do you have to devour my roses?
Why can’t you gorge on the grasses that grow in yonder field?”
“Well, Mr. Bob, not a thing in that field has
The lure of the genus Rosa, but I’ll keep my eyes peeled.”
 
“Hey there, Mrs. Fly! Do you have to buzz into MY house?
What is wrong with the neighbors’—the one with the door open wide?”
“Well, Mr. Bob, we love the smell of your cookies
And cakes and blueberry cobblers. We’re dying to get inside!”
 
“Well, so much for asking! At least I made an attempt
To deal with you pesky visitors; to bid you all adieu.”
“Sorry, Mr. Bob. We don’t feel very welcome;
But perhaps you’ve forgotten something: WE were here long before YOU.”

- by Bob B

D.T.:
Joseph Maguire.° Who the hell
Does he think he is?
As DNI, to share the truth,
He thinks the task is his.
To work for me--Donald Trump--
Anyone should see
That I expect--above all else--
Loyalty to me.

By now everybody should know
That things must go my way.
If they don't, you know there
Is going to be hell to pay.
When your biggest fans and supporters
Believe that you are royal,
Then anyone who disagrees
With you is being disloyal.

So what if various agencies
Find that there's a connection
Between the Russian government and
Our 2020 election.
When they give their intel briefings,
To them it should be clear
That such information is not
What I want to hear!

(Chorus)
A national security threat?
Sorry, Uncle Sam.
You can say we're under attack,
But I don't give a ****.
Our intelligence agencies
Think they're being precise.
But frankly I would much prefer
To follow Putin's advice.

The less that Congress knows the better
It is for all of us.
Election meddling is a topic
I choose not to discuss.
I will give the position to
My lackey, Richard Grenell.
He will do my bidding, and so
Sorry, Maguire: farewell.

I have friends in Congress who
Defend me to the hilt.
Nunes°° will do whatever I ask
And not feel any guilt.
We can weaponize the intel
Community and manage
That we make sure it's used for my
Political advantage.

(Chorus)
A national security threat?
Sorry, Uncle Sam.
You can say we're under attack,
But I don't give a ****.
Our intelligence agencies
Think they're being precise.
But frankly I would much prefer
To follow Putin's advice.

-by Bob B (2-21-20)

°Director of National Intelligence (DNI)
°°U.S. Representative for California's 22nd District

Democratic policies and
Procedures: what the heck are those?
Merely obstacles at which
The president thumbs his nose.

His loyal lackeys and sycophants
Kowtow to his every whim.
It's not about what's best for the people;
Unfortunately, it's all about him.

One must wonder: when the man
Vociferously attacks the feds,
Is he the Queen of Hearts in his dreams,
Madly yelling, "Off with their heads!"

For a country built on democratic
Values it's a scary thing
When an elected official forgets
That he's the president--NOT the king.

-by Bob B (5-21-18)

Hateful campaigns polarize
The public; salacious scandals abound;
Demagogues stir up the voters;
Vicious rumors are passed around;

Threats are made if one's opponent
Wins the race; fake news spreads;
Internal strife within the parties
Has the members at loggerheads;

Security leaks flow from the top;
Vitriolic accusations
Denigrate opponents; we hear
Of more and more allegations;

Threats are levied at the free press;
The masses suspect the educated;
Verbal assaults on the judiciary
Are brazen and unsubstantiated;

Fears of election fraud are raised;
Hypocrisy knows no end;
Little attention is paid to the truth
As people don't care whom they offend;

Candidates "pump the popular passions";
Hush money's paid; stories don't jibe
As lawmakers find themselves
Susceptible to paying a bribe.

It sounds like politics and elections
In America from what we've seen
Happening in the past few years
Leading up to twenty eighteen.

But this was also America
In the year 1800.  Since such
Chaos occurred back then as well,
It shows we haven't changed that much.

-by Bob B (3-30-18)

You cannot always have hits in life;
There have to be some misses.
Sometimes you'll hear words of praise;
Sometimes you'll hear hisses.

Artists don't always aim to produce
Works to please the masses.
Those who try will find themselves
Falling flat on their *****.

The point is this: create…create!
Express what comes from the heart.
Do your best with each endeavor
Though folks might tear it apart.

Enjoy the creative process, for it
Can truly be your friend.
Results are fine, but the process itself
Is more than a means to an end.

Now, IF you have nothing but flops,
That might be a sign
That you should seek a different form
Of expression in order to shine.

Find what works for you and allow
Creative juices to flow.
If people expect you to be who you aren't,
Tell them, “Thank you, but no.”

-by Bob B (7-20-23)

When we delve into our past,
Stories of odd eccentrics abound.
Of course, you'll find them even today
If you dare to look around.

Have you heard of the Collyer brothers--
Two brothers of strange repute?
Homer and Langley were their names.
Their oddness one cannot refute.

Born in the late 1800s,
The two were only three years apart.
Although they were peculiar,
Both of them were rather smart.

Langley studied engineering
And chemistry; Homer, law.
When the family moved to Harlem,
They lived in a brownstone with ma and pa.

After their parents separated,
The two brothers chose to reside
With their mom and even continued
To stay there after their mother died.

The brothers had a strange compulsion
To collect stuff and even more stuff.
And when that happens, for many people,
There is never, ever enough.

They lived in "nests" that they had made
In debris that was piled as high as the ceiling.
Most of us couldn't comprehend
How the two could find that appealing.

Langley built ***** traps in case
Inquisitive neighbors tried to break in.
People on the outside knew
That something strange was occurring within.

The brothers refused to pay their bills,
So naturally, it came to pass,
That they would have to make do without
Electric power, water, and gas.

The two had 25,000 books,
Mountains of papers and magazines,
Fourteen pianos, two organs--
Surely the most bizarre of scenes--

Baby carriages, bicycles,
Human organs pickled in jars,
Thousands of bottles, cats, banjos,
Chandeliers, and parts of cars.

Homer was found dead in an alcove.
He died of starvation and heart disease.
His matted gray hair hung down to his shoulders
And his head was resting on his knees.

Later, the body of Langley was found,
After a two-and-a-half-week lapse.
Apparently, he had been killed
By one of his own ***** traps.

Over 120 tons
Of junk was removed from the brothers' dwelling.°
Incomprehensible!
And you can bet that it wasn't sweet smelling.

So hoarders beware. Listen to
The wake-up call before it's too late,
Lest you follow the path of the Collyer
Brothers and suffer a similar fate.

-by Bob B (10-24-21)

°Some sources say 140 tons.

Can you imagine a thing more bizarre?
Strange things can happen but this is by far
One of the craziest stories I've heard.
Call it outrageous, for that's a good word.

The end times are coming and we're on the brink.
That's what some white evangelicals think.
The one who'll be leading us over this ****
Will be none other than Donald J. Trump.

Sing too-ra-lie-loo-ra-lie-loo-ra-lie-ay.

This crazy idea explains to us why
So many people believe Trump's Big Lie.
His challenge, they feel, is not just a whim:
That the election was stolen from him.

Other groups out there have joined in the cause
And bow and kowtow to their Wizard of Oz.
Even the Moonies have entered the fray.
How easy it is to lead people astray!

Sing too-ra-lie-loo-ra-lie-loo-ra-lie-ay.

Part of their big propaganda machine
Is rhetoric very much anti-vaccine.
Some of the leaders are sounding alarms
To talk devotees into taking up arms.

Conspiracy theories continue to weave
Through the ideas that these folks believe.
Yes, they remind us that we have free will;
But far-fetched ideas lead people to ****.

Sing too-ra-lie-loo-ra-lie-loo-ra-lie-ay.

Some politicians will hold up a gun
And say to us that church and state should be one.
I guess in their readings there's something they missed:
Our Constitution was not on their list.

Maybe the end of the world it won't be,
But what is going on gives no comfort to me.
Democracy's fragile; there is no doubt.
And we can't let radical groups wipe it out.

Sing too-ra-lie-loo-ra-lie-loo-ra-lie-ay.

-by Bob B (10-7-21)

°This poem can be sung to the melody of "Sweet Betsy from Pike."

Ramadan, Passover,
And Easter coincide this year,
But THAT doesn't matter to Vladimir Putin,
For he has a war to engineer.

He has arranged for a senseless war
To be carried out on Ukrainian soil.
Why be concerned about human compassion
When there is a neighboring land to despoil?

Geneva Conventions to Putin mean nothing.
Depraved dictators make their own rules,
Bombing civilian hospitals,
Train stations, homes, and schools.

The world has witnessed other examples
Of paranoid, cruel, despots before
Who have no qualms about committing
Monstrous atrocities during a war.

To massacre innocent people so
Is nothing short of genocide.
When the war is over how many
Innocent people will have died?

Whatever you are celebrating--
If anything--don't refrain
From holding a special place in your heart
For the people suffering in Ukraine.

-by Bob B (4-17-22)

Lay your wreath, light your candles,
And think on all that’s good and say
“Never again!” as we reflect
On Holocaust Remembrance Day.

How can humans be so cruel?
A question we must ponder as we
Think of the millions who lost their lives
Because of gross inhumanity.

Sadly there are people who
Deny the truth of the Holocaust.
With cold and calloused hearts they refuse
To acknowledge the many lives that were lost.

If we ignore the enormity
Of all the crimes committed, then
How will we ever be sure that such
Atrocities won't happen again?

May all who perished rest in peace.
We must keep human hatred at bay.
In fact, every day should be
A Holocaust Remembrance Day.

-by Bob B (4-17-23)

What a shocking change of course!
Based on all that we have seen
Happen during the past few years--
Especially since 2016--

The far Right has gone off the deep end.
Who in the world would ever have guessed
How radical it would become?
The very idea is hard to digest.

Republicans loathed the USSR
And thought the Dems weren't hard enough
On the autocratic regime.
It was crucial for us to be tough.

The Soviet Union is no more,
But Russia STILL is autocratic.
Putin rules with an iron fist.
Freedom there is problematic.

Dissidents are killed or jailed.
The unfree press is run by the state.
Any threat to Putin's power
Is something he won't tolerate.

Russia annexed Crimea and now
Is threatening to invade Ukraine--
A country that we promised to help
Defend, much to Russia's disdain.

NOW we hear Republicans
Praising Putin for what he's doing--
Praising the dictatorial tyrant--
When instead we should be booing.

Why defend Ukraine? ask some
Of the Fox News commentators.
It looks as though they have become
Putin regime collaborators.

Tucker Carlson and Laura Ingraham
Are Russians assets. That's for sure.
The nonsense that they spew on TV
Is comparable to cow manure.

To put it plainly, to put it simply:
Vladimir Putin is NOT our friend.
He just cannot wait to see
American democracy end.

Putin's delighted as he watches
The effects of his disruptive charade.
It thrills him even more to watch
American ninnies come to his aid.

-by Bob B (12-9-21)