There is a little, tiny tapeworm;
Anomotaenia brevis it's called.
Many people have studied this creature--
Some are amazed; some are appalled.

Needing to find a way to survive,
This tiny tapeworm seeks a host.
As it turns out, the woodpecker
Is the host it likes the most.

Certain ants like to collect
Woodpecker droppings. Is that surprising?
They feed the droppings to their larvae.
Yuck! Not so appetizing!

The droppings containing tapeworm eggs
Give some ants the parasite.
When they grow up to be adults,
Their behavior is not quite right.

The non-infected ants still feed them,
But they laze around, refusing to work.
Maybe their new behavior doesn't
Let them know where dangers might lurk.

The way they act increases the chances
That woodpeckers will eat them for dinner.
The question that people might have is this:
Who is the loser and who is the winner?

The birds eat the ants, become infected,
And leave their droppings, whereupon
The ants will feed their larvae the droppings.
The tapeworm cycle goes on and on.

How living forms have thus evolved
To use and be used in such odd ways
Shows the wonders of evolution--
Wonders that never cease to amaze.

-by Bob B (2-11-25)

Abraham was sitting around
Minding his very own business when
His Lord spoke to him. You see,
They talked every now and then.

"Take your son up into the hills.
I know a place that's really nice.
And don't forget your dagger, Abe.
I'm hungry for a sacrifice."

So ol' Abe grabbed his son--Isaac--
And off they went, minding the Lord.
I guess there wasn't enough going on
And so the Lord was getting bored.

Once Abe found the perfect spot,
He laid some sticks upon the ground.
He was going to sacrifice
His son there on that little mound.

Isaac lay upon the sticks,
Silently, without thrashing.
His dad was leaning over him.
In his hand his knife was flashing.

Isaac put two and two together.
(You wouldn't have to be that smart
To know your dad was just about
To plunge a knife into your heart.)

Suddenly, the Lord said "Whoa!
I was kidding. Put down that knife.
Abe, I didn't mean for you
To put an end to Isaac's life.

"I was merely testing you.
Sorry about the little scare.
The two of you can go back home
And wash out Isaac's underwear."

Abraham found a ram in a thicket--
Sadly, an unlucky one--
And offered his Lord some roasted ram--
That instead of roasted son.

It doesn't sound to me as though
Abraham's god was on the level.
If gods are willing to traumatize
Kids like that, who needs a devil?

-by Bob B (2-10-25)

How sad when the president is an ***--
An ignorant, shameless buffoon;
A hypocritical, disrespectful,
Egomaniacal loon;

A nasty, dangerous, vengeful bully--
Corrupt, deceptive, and rude;
An anti-democratic tyrant--
Spoiled, obnoxious, and crude;

A faithless, abhorrent misogynist--
Malignantly narcissistic;
A mean, malevolent, cruel coward--
Racist and chauvinistic;

A hateful, dishonest, selfish fraudster--
An empty, soulless shell;
A xeno-, ****-, trans-…and ah!...
Islamophobe as well;

A nepotistic, hardhearted,
Ignominious brute;
A hostile, divisive, destructive loser
Of questionable repute;

A reckless, alarming imperialist;
A churlish, cult-leading fool;
An arrogant, irresponsible felon
Who is unfit to rule;

A smug, incompetent, bad-tempered ****;
The world's strongmen's pawn;
A lawless, deplorable, outrageous clown.
The list goes on and on!

-by Bob B (2-6-25)

DT:
Of ONE thing I must say that I am aware:
A marriage can be any person's cross to bear.
So that is why I put my trust in laissez faire.
And that’s how I survive.

My first wife frowned on my philandering.
I said that paparazzi were just slandering.
No way! she said. I was meandering.
And that's how I survive.

The situation then grew hairier.
And since there was no way to bury her,
I merely said, "I'll just unmarry her."
And that's how I survive.

There was a gal that I was with when I got caught.
In 1993 we tied the knot.
I think she had a certain liking for my yacht.
And that's how I survive.

My second marriage started out to be a blast.
But everybody knows that it didn't last.
Divorce for me was just a rebroadcast.
And that's how I survive.

Then I met this gorgeous pinup girl.
Talk about a beauty! Yes, a real pearl!
I thought that I should give this one a whirl.
And that's how I survive.

But everybody knows that a wedding ring
Won't STOP me if I feel I want to have a fling.
Fidelity is not a deal to which I cling.
And that's how I survive.

How long this one will last, well, no one knows.
Every marriage has both its highs and lows.
My wife's aware of what she can and can't disclose.
And that's how I survive.

I’ve a special tool, which--I must say--
Helps me keep both friends and foes at bay.
It happens to be called an NDA.°
And that’s how I survive.
Yes, that’s…how…I…survive.

-by Bob B (2-4-25)

°non-disclosure agreement

(In the musical PETER PAN, Captain Hook, in the song "Captain Hook's Waltz" by Jule Styne, Adolph Green and Betty Comden, boasts about his villainy. Here Donald Trump, who prides himself on being as obnoxious as possible, sings his version. The responses of his admin team are in parentheses.)

I'm the greatest ruler of all time.
Who was Mussolini?
(Nobody!)
Who was ******?
(Nobody!)
Who is Vladimir Putin?
(Nobody!)

Who's the greatest deceiver of all?
(Donald Trump!... Donald Trump!)
Who's the MOST shameless man in this dog-eat-dog world?
(Donald Trump!... Donald Trump!)
Expert at knowing how someone can dupe
Others by showing how low ANY dictator can stoop.
(He'll stoop!)

Who's the basest of bullies around?
(Donald Trump!... Donald Trump!)
Who's unpliable?
(You!)
Unreliable?
(You!)
Who do some think could be certifiable?
(You!)
And who couldn't care less if the rest of the world's in a slump?
(World's in a slump!)
(No one else but Donald Trump.)
…
Who's the neediest?
(Neediest!)
Who's the seediest?
(Seediest!)
Who's the greediest?
(Greediest!)

Who's the MOST expert fibber around?
(Donald Trump!... Donald Trump!)
Who's displaceable?
(You!)
Ineffaceable?
(You!)
Who rich oligarchs find irreplaceable?
(You!)
Who's the slimiest, snakiest, snarkiest, scruffiest grump?
(Scruffiest grump!)
(All bow down to the king!)
If you want you can kiss my ring.
(The con with a plan.)
I guess I'm your man.
(Donald)
Trump
(Trump! Trump!... Trump! Trump!)
Trump
(Trump! Trump!... Trump! Trump!)
Trump!

-by Bob B (2-3-25)

Obviously, Donald Trump
Couldn't care less about whom he hurts.
The heartless man apparently thinks
We're all getting our just deserts.

All of our lives are now in danger
As he installs his admin team--
Most of whom are incompetent
But blindly support the Trump regime.

He's fired people across the country
For having done their job. What's more,
He has become even more deranged
And more unjust than ever before.

His new tariffs on imports show
How he wants to maximize
His power by hurting other countries
And us as well as prices rise.

And then, of course, he bullies other
Nations if they do not comply
With HIS demands. We MUST speak up.
This situation is do or die.

Trump is out to show the world
That he's a strongman--lawless and cruel.
Hurt other people before they hurt you.
That's the Trumpian golden rule.

-by Bob B (2-2-25)

Curtis Yarvin--extremist blogger--
Is a real piece of work.
You'll find him on the Internet--
A place where many crackpots lurk.

He wants to dismantle the government
And force all government workers out
Through a plan that he calls RAGE°--
Something that he bandies about.

He claims that voting is now passé
And highly ineffectual.
He says he has a better idea,
This pseudo intellectual:

We should establish someone whom
He calls a “national CEO”--
In other words, a dictator.
He doesn't mince his words--oh, no.

Why do you think Trump is trying
To shut down federal agencies?
His blatant efforts to take control
Should put nobody's mind at ease.

And guess who's also been right there
In Yarvin's pocket all along:
JD Vance. He's singing the same
Scary, anti-democracy song!

They say our current Constitution
Is worthless and ought to be replaced.
In their eyes, our democratic
System should be laid to waste.

If people want to overthrow
Democracy, that's a good reason
For all of us to be alarmed.
That should be considered treason.

-by Bob B (1-30-25)

°Retire All Government Employees