Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson,
Now compares himself to Moses.
It's rather disconcerting what
His total self-aggrandizement shows us.

It's what he told Christian lawmakers.
Now he's waiting to cross the Red Sea.
How arrogant and delusional
Can a politician be?

Strangely, he said that God had spoken
To him when he was down on his knees.
He might as well have compared himself
With Paul Bunyan or Hercules.

It makes one wonder whether Johnson
Has been a bit too much on the sauce.
Will his ego grow so large
That he will nail himself to a cross?

Let him raise his rod and try
To part the waters. Wish him luck.
To tell the truth, Johnson seems
Less like a Moses and more like a schmuck.

-by Bob B (12-7-23)

(This poem can be sung to the tune of the 1922 song "Toot…Toot…Tootsie, Good-bye.")

Good-bye, Santos,° good-bye!
Wipe that tear from your eye.
The fraud you have committed
And other crimes from which you clearly benefited
Have caught up with you now.
That's why Congress said, "Ciao!"
Which means "so long."
I could be wrong,
But you won't find much favor if you sing your sad song.
Just you try to deny
What you did. So good-bye!

Good-bye, Santos, good-bye!
You think you're quite a guy!
How could your fans give you a nod
With all your lies and money laundering and fraud.
Are you really for real?
You have lost your appeal.
What will you do
Now that you're through?
Prosecutors probably are looking for you.
Will you eat humble pie?
Hope so, Santos. Good-bye!

-by Bob B (12-1-23)

°George Santos: former U.S. representative from New York's 3rd congressional district

I ran into Tom the Turkey again.
It's been a year since I saw him last.
He told me he was trying out
A recommended Thanksgiving fast.

"If everybody would fast today,"
He said, "wouldn't THAT be sweet?
They'd be healthier; instead,
They gorge themselves on turkey meat.

"The president can pardon turkeys.
That is something I'd like to discuss
With White House folks. If HE can do that,
Why can't he pardon ALL of us?

"It's getting harder for me each year
To find a place where I can hide.
I've tried to disguise myself, but that
Is awkward. You know I've got my pride.

"People are always making up stories.
Maybe I will do the same.
Spread the word: the meat from turkeys
Is bad and it will bring you shame.

"So it's not true. That doesn't matter.
My goal is to hoodwink and I can achieve it.
People who like conspiracy theories
Are gullible enough to believe it.

"In the meantime, I'm going to keep
A very low profile again today."
He waddled off, wishing me
A happy Thanksgiving anyway.

-by Bob B (11-23-23)

Let's be real. It's fine to be
Skeptical when others say
"God has given this land to us."
The appropriate response: "No way!"

One group says, "This land is ours!"
Another counters: "That's not true.
We believe it was given to us!"
And then fighting breaks out anew.

Using the scriptures to justify
The occupation of others' lands
Provides a shaky argument
And unsubstantiated demands.

When we ignore the allegorical
Nature of all religion, we lose.
So much death and destruction occur
When myths influence political views.

In truth, there is no Promised Land;
No one is a chosen one.
There is only the voice of reason.
Listen, and let its will be done.

-by Bob B (11-14-23)

Interestingly, it seems that Kentucky
Enjoys incredible satisfaction
In boasting the Ark Encounter, which is
A strange and bizarre tourist attraction.

Noah’s Ark--an allegory--
Is presented as history.
That folks believe the pseudoscience
Involved is a total mystery.

Misleading information awaits
People who choose to visit the park.
For example, replicas
Of dinosaurs are on the ark!

The park's creator believes that Earth
Really isn't so very old--
Only around 6,000 years.
He tries to prove it, so I am told.

What he's doing is misleading folks--
Brainwashing kids, or so it appears.
Dinosaurs predated human
Beings by millions and millions of years!

The structure itself might be amazing--
A massive work of art. Who knows?
But being something described in a popular
Tale is about as far as it goes.

The story of Noah is interesting;
However, depicting it as fact
Is an inaccurate practice, which
By logic and reason cannot be backed.

-by Bob B (10-30-23)

Unfortunately, Republican
Extremists in Congress have won.
The recent clown show isn't over;
In fact, it's barely begun.

Mike Johnson was voted in
As Speaker! Please, no cheers.
He's the least experienced Speaker
In over one hundred years.

Johnson, we know, was instrumental
In building a strong connection
With those who tried to change the results
Of the 2020 election.

To help explain societal ills,
Here's his contribution:
Mass shootings are the result
Of teaching evolution!

***! If you think things
Are bad right now, just wait.
To him there should be no separation
Between church and state.

Embracing right-wing culture wars,
Johnson's ready to fight
To push his crazy, extremist agenda
Instead of doing what's right.

MAGA extremists have taken the country
Hostage. It's sad but true.
Come on, House Republicans!
Is that the best you can do?

-by Bob B (10-26-23)

For years Trump has wanted us
All to believe that he is the great
Businessman par excellence,
When actually, he's second-rate.

By lying and cheating his way to the top,
He fooled many. But let's not forget
That Trump's successful empire was
A fiction created by Mark Burnett.°

Trump's REAL empire is
A castle built on shifting sand.
For many years he has relied
On fraud to help promote his brand.

"Fraud" is such an ugly word,
But maybe for Trump it's really not.
To him it seems that all is fair--
Just as long as you don't get caught.

As he gaslights Americans,
It's hard to know what he really believes.
The hypocrite cannot escape
The fantasies to which he cleaves.

How sad it is that he has led
Americans down the rabbit hole!
How can they trust someone who couldn't
Tell the truth to save his soul?

-by Bob B (9-27-23)

°Producer of the TV series "The Apprentice"