D.T.

If you have some classified docs,
Whatever you do, don't ignore them.
Put them in your bathroom, for it's
The perfect place for you to store them.

Therefore, when your guests come to visit,
They'll be fully guaranteed
To have--while they are on the ***--
Something interesting to read.

And if the toilet paper dispenser
Is empty, and they are in a rut,
They can always use the docs
To…well, you know…to wipe their ****.

It gives me such a feeling of power
Just to know the docs are there.
If you fear that you'll run out
Of reading material, don't despair.

I have box after box after box.
That should keep you occupied
For many hours. Top secret?
Bah! I've got nothing to hide.

There's one that I've been looking for--
The one that has the nuclear codes.
If you find it, let me have it,
Or I'll have one of my episodes.

I maintain that presidents--
Current or former--can do what they want.
Thumbing my nose at everyone else:
That is something I like to flaunt.

Now that I have been indicted,
Up my sleeve I have an ace.
I'm sure that a judge that I appointed
Is going to help me win my case.

-by Bob B (6-24-23)

When reading this poem, I hope you can see
When we should use "Not I" or "Not me."
The context determines what should be said.
I hope I don't have you scratching your head.

If somebody asks, "Who's a good dancer?"
Please do not let "Not me" be your answer.
If you are NOT, then you should reply,
"I'm not," or simply respond with "Not I."

However, if somebody asks, "Last week,
Who(m) did Marisol kiss on the cheek?"
IF "She didn't kiss me" is how
You'd answer, "Not me" is sufficient right now.

"Who wants this book?" "Not I" you'd say
If you do not want the book today.
"Who(m) did Mario call a ****?"
He DIDN'T dis YOU? "Not me" then would work.

Didn't you learn "Not I" as I did
When being read to as a young kid?
"Who'll help?" asks the little red hen with a cluck.
"Not I," say the dog, the cat, and the duck.

As you can see, it all depends
On what one means--on what one intends.
Whichever expression you use will suffice,
But one's always clearer and much more precise.

-by Bob B (6-20-23)

Some folks could take a whole seminar
On whether to use "there is" or "there are."
It's really not hard. That being said,
The basic requirement is thinking ahead.

"There is" and "there are" start a sentence.° Okay?
The subject will follow. The verb must obey.
IF you begin with "there is" as a start,
A singular subject must then play its part.

"THERE'S not a lot of money to spare,"
But "THERE ARE a lot of people who care."
"THERE IS a problem when traffic has slowed,"
But "THERE ARE too many big trucks on the road."

"There is a fly in my soup," you will hear.
"Is" is correct. That should be clear.
But "There are a lot of cracks in the curb."
"Are" here, you see, is the right plural verb.

With multiple subjects some people get thrown.
If YOU find it tricky, then you're not alone.
"There are a woman, a man, and a dog
Crossing the street in the cool morning fog."

But, frankly, I'd say, even better yet,
Remove the "there are," and here's what you'll get:
"A woman, a man, and a dog" (short and sweet,
And right to the point) "are crossing the street…."

"There were drums in the song that we played."
Saying "there was" would be wrong, I'm afraid.
From this example, of course, you can tell
That the rule works with the past tense as well.

"There are two dishes that really stand out,"
"There are a lot of ways to cook trout."
Merely by thinking ahead when you speak,
You can perfect your verbal technique.

-by Bob B (6-18-23)

°Although "there is” and “there are” often start a sentence, they don't have to. Other words, phrases, and clauses can precede them.

Looking around, I watch with growing
Horror, sadness, and utter dismay
As many states start looking more
Like **** Germany every day.

Laws to penalize doctors for trying
To help others are spreading fear
And horrible insecurities
Among the health professionals here.

Laws pitting people against
One another are being made.
Groups are being targeted
As scapegoats in what is a vicious crusade.

Library books are being banned
Because of people's misguided views.
Laws are being made to prevent
People from having the right to choose.

We also have our "brown shirts"--
Mobs of thugs who terrorize
Others whom--for bigoted reasons--
The cruel, extremist thugs despise.

SOME states want to give their doctors
The right to refuse treatment to those
Whose ****** orientation those very
Doctors for asinine reasons oppose.

Autocrats in other countries
By many people are honored and praised,
And when the autocrats stomp on rights,
The autocrat-lovers aren't even fazed.

States are changing history with
Revisionist texts that alter the truth,
Using a silly, outlandish excuse
That doing so protects our youth.

ALL we need now is an autocrat
Wannabe like Trump in power,
And what we know as democracy
Will sadly see its final hour.

-by Bob B (6-16-23)

(This poem can be sung to the melody of "The Flowers That Bloom in the Spring" from THE MIKADO by Gilbert and Sullivan.)

Indictments, arraignments, and all--
Tra la--
Will make Trump accountable now.
And of course we know HE has the gall--
Tra la--
To make someone else take the fall--
Tra la--
Who knows what he will avow?
Who knows what he will avow?
It seems that whatever he does casts a pall
On all of us, and we hate being in his thrall.
Tra la la la la,
Tra la la la la…
We hate to be in the man's thrall.

Tra la la la la…
Tra la la la la…
Tra la la la la la la.

Indictments, arraignments, and all--
Tra la--
Are giving us reason to hope.
What Trump does with docs in his haul--
Tra la--
Is actually not his call--
Tra la--
And we're ALL at the end of our rope.
Yes, we're ALL at the end of our rope.
Since Trump and his legal team know how to stall,
To get him convicted, the order is tall.
Tra la la la la,
Tra la la la la…
The task is not going to be small.

Tra la la la la…
Tra la la la la…
Tra la la la la la la.

-by Bob B (6-14-23)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPmBrgWpRLc&t=10s

(This poem can be sung to the melody of "Back in the Saddle Again" by Gene Autry and Ray Whitley.)

So Trump's been indicted again.
Let's give a shout out: Amen!
Well, he thought he was immune,
And it happened none too soon.
Yes, Trump's been indicted again.

He'll now look for someone to blame.
To him it is all just a game.
A classified doc to him
Should be dealt with on a whim.
Yes, Trump's been indicted again.

Oh, the rule of law
Sticks in Donald's craw.
Yes, Trump's been indicted again.
If he's guilty, he
Should not go free.
Yes, Trump's been indicted again.

Oh, when will the guy ever learn?
Do bad, and bad will return.
He'll try to fire up his base,
But it WON'T help out his case.
Yes, Trump's been indicted again.

And who's going to stand by his side?
His lying will not save his hide.
His arguments are hollow.
More trials will surely follow.
Yes, Trump's been indicted again.

Oh, the rule of law
Sticks in Donald's craw.
Yes, Trump's been indicted again.
If he's guilty, he
Should not go free.
Yes, Trump's been indicted again.

-by Bob B (6-10-23)

So ol' Pat Robertson kicked the bucket.
For him the bell has tolled.
He shouldn't complain; he lived to be
Ninety-three years old.

He used his power to galvanize
A staunch religious Right,
And nonsensical culture wars
Became his constant fight.

Having no problem whatsoever
Blending church and state,
Robertson used the media
To spread his platform of hate.

Feminism drove many women
To witchcraft--an evil path--
Robertson claimed, and earthquakes, he said,
Were caused by Jehovah's wrath.

One of his most wrongheaded statements--
Obnoxious in so many ways--
Was when he stated that 9/11
Attacks were caused by gays!

Dangerously incendiary
Statements to him were candy,
And lashing out at others became
His modus operandi.

Equating gays with Satanists
And Nazis--so malicious--
Robertson seemed so very obsessed
With gays. Highly suspicious!

I wonder if he'll realize NOW--
And I don’t mean to be snarky--
That much of what he spouted here
On Earth was full of malarkey.

-by Bob B (6-9-23)