When we last visited Santa,
A sign on which was written "For Sale"
Hung from a post on his property.
It's hanging there still from a rusty nail.

Santa shuffled out to greet us.
Conditions have been taking a toll
On Santa, for it is obvious that
Things aren't going so well at the Pole.

"Welcome back," said Santa, wiping
A little tear from the edge of his eye.
"I wish I could say that things were improving.
Alas, they're not," he said with a sigh.

"The Arctic is warming at such a fast rate!
Believe you me, it's very alarming.
Don't people care about
The habitats that humans are harming?

"Upsetting the balance of nature is having
Disastrous consequences, for now
We are at a tipping point.
How much more will we allow?

"Melting sea ice is making it hard
For animals who need it to thrive.
Polar bears and walruses
Are finding it hard to stay alive.

"A lot of snow and ice up here
Is badly needed to reflect
The sun's energy back into space.
Now we have the albedo effect:

"Water and rock both absorb
Heat from the rays of the sun, which will
Cause even more ice to melt,
Making the earth warmer still!

"Many animals face starvation,
Animals such as reindeer that graze.
As we observe the Greenland ice
Sheet melt, expect bleaker days.

"With the thawing of more terrestrial
Permafrost, methane's released
Into our earth's atmosphere.
Our problems once again are increased.

"I hate to be a buzz ****," he added.
"But my cheerful '**, **, **!'
Is turning into a dire warning--
Now it's more of a 'Whoa, whoa, whoa!'

"No one wants this property,
Other than polluters and drillers.
But I refuse to sell to climate
Change deniers or habitat killers."

Mrs. Santa called from the house.
"The missus needs me," he said. "So long.
Tell everyone that Santa needs
A climate change Christmas song."

With that, he turned and left us standing,
Baffled, bewildered, sad, distraught.
Some folks might be fooled by deniers,
But one thing's for certain: Santa's not.

-by Bob B (12-10-19)

O you hypocrites!
You know who you are.
When it comes to honor,
How you've lowered the bar!

What? Have you no shame?
What’s happened to your pride?
You pretend your actions
Can be justified.

How you love to blame
Others for things you do!
You shun the use of facts
And cherish what’s untrue.

Often what you praise
Is reprehensible;
What you try to defend
Is indefensible.

Has your commitment to truth
Always been a lie?
Has your level of fraud
Always been this high?

Your songs of double-dealing
Echo through the halls.
You hide your smug expression
Behind congressional walls.

Is hypocrisy
What many people might call
One of your job requirements?
If so, you give your all.

After hearing your nonsense
Day after day,
How can people believe
A single word you say?

-by Bob B (11-7-19)

AG Barr's attempt to spin
Conspiracy theories is wearing thin.
He wants to prove the Russia probe's a sham.
Investigations come up short.
They can't debunk the Mueller Report.
But Barr doesn't give a tinker's ****.

That's the president's shining star:
The man known as Bootlicker Barr.

The AG cannot rest, you see,
Until the lackey shows that he
Has a subject he can't fail to broach.
Even though his plan has holes
And serves his partisan political goals,
He insists that Trump's above reproach.

The president has a shining star:
The man known as Bootlicker Barr.

It's sad he's such a sorry cuss.
The AG should be working for us;
The president's personal lawyer he is NOT.
But Trump thinks Barr will save his hide.
So what if neither one has pride.
Barr will be his shining Lancelot.

That's the president's shining star:
The man known as Bootlicker Barr.

Many of us remain nonplussed
At how the AG has no trust
For DOJ employees who work hard.
Instead, he thinks a "deep state" scheme--
A myth he's peddling to the extreme--
Is real and so he has to be on guard.

That's the president's shining star:
The man known as Bootlicker Barr.

Rejecting Congressional oversight,
Barr has taken on the fight
To cover up the president's transgressions.
Barr puts AG Sessions to shame.
Though both have played the president's game,
Barr is ten times worse than AG Sessions.

That's the president's shining star:
The man known as Bootlicker Barr.

-by Bob B (12-6-19)

________
(Original poem: Part I)

BOOTLICKER BARR

The president appointed a man
To help support his nefarious plan--
Something that's so common in these times.
The man became the president's pal
And pushed a bogus rationale
To try to cover up his boss's crimes.

The president's shining star:
The man known as Bootlicker Barr.

An office that should really be
An independent agency
Is one that we call the D-O-J.
But since the president's henchman's there,
The agency's the worse for wear
And grows less independent every day.

Thanks to our leader's shining star:
The man known as Bootlicker Barr.

To bolster a right-wing conspiracy theory,
Barr has started a new inquiry
To investigate the Russia investigation.
Of course, he knows he'll get Fox News
To help support his spurious views
For it’s a peddler of misinformation.

To help the president's shining star:
The man known as Bootlicker Barr.

To try to prove that the Mueller probe
Was a crime, he roams the globe
To find someone to help him prove his case.
He merely shows that he's got gall
And NO integrity at all.
How can he look us in the face?

The president's shining star:
The man known as Bootlicker Barr.

What a stunt--a big distraction,
A sly and furtive counteraction--
As they try to manufacture dirt.
Distractions from impeachment chatter
Is for them an easy matter.
To them it doesn't matter whom they hurt.

Watch the president's shining star:
The man known as Bootlicker Barr.

-by Bob B (10-25-19)

Dear Donald,

Congratulations. I really like
How you have muddied the waters, my friend.
You keep stressing my talking points
And give new meaning to the word “pretend.”

Not only have you duped your base,
You have your friends in Congress wrapped
Around your little finger, for you
Can lie whenever you feel trapped.

You have worshipers pushing your stories,
Conspiracy theories--the whole shebang.
Just try to polish your storytelling
So that your lies don’t boomerang.

Heaping all the blame on Ukraine
For having meddled in twenty sixteen
In your election helps us both
Advance our propaganda machine.

A weaker Ukraine is good for Russia;
What’s good for Russia is good for you.
Think of all the power we’ll have.
That would be my dream come true.

To me it is a great honor
How you place your trust in me
When your intel agencies
And I happen to disagree.

The way that you obstruct justice
And Congress pleases me as well.
It's right out of my own playbook:
Just tell them all to go to hell.

When you, like me, have total control
Over the media, you're on your way
To being a leader who makes the people
Do what you do and say what you say.

People suspect that I have dirt
On you, but you can rest assured
That all you have to do is follow
My suggestions, and mum’s the word.

Your friend, Vlad

-by Bob B (12-3-19)

I ran into Tom Turkey again,
Who quietly sat alone in a bar.
It had been a while, so I said,
"Hey, tell me how things are."

"Life for turkeys isn't easy.
You know each day could be our last.
Tomorrow I could end up being
A part of someone's sumptuous repast,"

He said, taking a sip of his brandy
And wiping a tiny tear from his eye.
"But," he added, "I guess you also
Never know when you might die.

"But a giant difference is
That though today you're strong and able,
If something happened to you, you wouldn't
End up on someone's dining room table."

Then he said, "Tell me something;
My reasoning here is kind of murky.
If someone is foolish, weak or inept,
Why do you call that person a turkey?"

"Sorry," I said, "but do understand:
The term wasn't created by me.
Nonetheless, I will attempt
To be more sensitive--more PC."

"Oh," he said, "one more thing.
It's a disgrace to us turkeys and NOT
Pleasing to see the people dance
A dance known as the turkey trot."

"That," I said, "is now obsolete.
The silly dance has faded away.
A turkey trot is now a race
Often occurring on Thanksgiving Day."

"That's a big relief," he said,
And then with a look of consternation,
He glanced at the clock, put on his hat,
And said he was going to a demonstration.

He picked up his placard and left the bar,
Making me feel slightly barbarian.
Across the sign that poor Tom carried
Were scribbled the words: GO VEGETARIAN!

-by Bob B (11-26-19)

Rick Perry° has joined the cult
That calls Trump the Chosen One.
Sorry, but that's a game that should be
One with no trumps. Pardon the pun.

To give Trump such an undeserved
Title can only underscore
How much a person has to question
Perry's sanity all the more.

I can think of better titles:
Wannabe Strongman, Liar in Chief,
Security Threat, Hypocrite,
King of Corruption, or Causer of Grief.

But Chosen One? Let's be serious.
Could God really be so daft
To let the Chosen One be Trump?
If so, we've been given the shaft.

-by Bob B (11-25-19)

°Secretary of Energy for Donald Trump

I like to think that I eat well.
But eating well to me doesn't mean
That I intend to completely remove
Sugar from my daily routine.

I know that protein and grains and fruits
And veggies are vital; I like them a lot.
But sometimes a hunk of chicken or steak
Or a carrot doesn't hit the spot.

We are what we eat, people say.
I am not saying that I am a ****,
But I would rather be seen as a cream puff
Than seen as a chicken, a cow, or a pig.

"Moderation" sounds judicious,
Though it's a word that's hard to define.
Your idea of moderation
Might be completely different from mine.

If somebody said, "Add ten years
To your life by avoiding sugary treats,"
With no hesitation, I would reply,
"YOU take the years; I'LL take the sweets."

-by Bob B (11-24-19)