(This poem can be sung to the tune of "Little Brown Jug.")

"Me and Kim Jong Un are friends;
Me and him, we made amends.
He rules with an iron fist--
Something that I can't resist.

(Chorus)
"Ha, ha, ha! Can’t you see?
We are making history.
Ha, ha, ha! Look at me!
I just crossed the DMZ!

"North Koreans live in fear.
Many often disappear.
Kim knows how to make 'em cower.
That is how he keeps his power.

(Chorus)

"Let's watch him as he revamps
His political prison camps.
Torture's carried out inside;
He says torture's justified.

(Chorus)

"Ultimate power goes to Kim.
He decides your fate at whim.
Sure, a few unlucky ones
Were killed by anti-aircraft guns.

(Chorus)

"When discussions reconvene,
Watch his propaganda machine.
Speaking up is not worthwhile.
Good chance you won't get a trial.

(Chorus)

"People here are thin, which means
They must eat a lot of greens.
Kim Jong Un is--I must state--
The only one who's overweight.

(Chorus)

"So he might have used starvation
To teach a lesson to his nation.
As long as they all give him praise,
They will live to see more days.

(Chorus)

"This is what he's demonstrated:
Human rights are overrated.
Still, I love to fantasize
That I'll get the Nobel Prize.

"Ha, ha, ha! Can’t you see?
We are making history.
Ha, ha, ha! Look at me!
I just crossed the DMZ!"

-by Bob B (7-1-19)

Some folks are descendants
Of Hamilton or Grant.
They can proudly boast,
While there are some who can't.
Well, I have the honor--
You will plainly see
That "honor" here is used
Quite sarcastically--

Of being a descendant
Of one with dubious fame.
In case you wonder, John
Billington was his name.
Ten years after his
Arrival in the year
1620, he
Was executed here.

Hey, Johnny!
Whaddya say?
Why’d you have to
Die that way?
You had to push
The envelope
To end up hanging
From a rope.

The Mayflower was
His means of transportation.
Fleeing debt, he hoped
To rise above his station.
His wife and two young sons
Joined him on the trip.
One mischievous son
Almost blew up the ship.

His son was thinking, "Hey,
This is loads of fun!"
While he played around
With his father's gun.
Stupidly, he put
The whole ship in peril
When he fired a shot
Near a gunpowder barrel.

John Billington was
Always in a jam.
About propriety
He didn't give a ****.
I guess he thought he was
A wise and clever chap.
But he should have known
When to shut his trap.

Hey, Johnny!
Whaddya say?
Why’d you have to
Die that way?
You had to push
The envelope
To end up hanging
From a rope.

A quarrel with a neighbor,
John Newcomen, led
John Billington to
Completely lose his head.
Billington shot Newcomen,
Who shortly thereafter died.
Two juries called it
An act of homicide.

There was no escaping
Punishment this time.
Billington was forced
To pay for his crime.
Fortunately, even
Though this story's grim,
I can proudly say
I don't take after him!

Hey, Johnny!
Whaddya say?
Why’d you have to
Die that way?
You had to push
The envelope
To end up hanging
From a rope.
Hanging from a rope!

-by Bob B (6-29-29)

Oscar Martínez and Angie Valeria,
A father and daughter from El Salvador,
Came to our border seeking asylum.
Their voices will not be heard anymore

Turned away at the border the father,
Mother, and daughter left in despair.
Desperation makes us take risks
Whenever our future is up in the air.

The Rio Grande near Matamoros
Proved not to be the family's friend.
Swept away in the rushing current,
Father and daughter both met their end.

Farewell to Oscar and Angie Valeria.
Let's hope that their deaths will not be in vain.
Urgency should call us to action:
Our treatment of others should be more humane.

Helpless, the frantic mother stood watching,
Feeling the pain that life can deliver.
The bodies of her two loved ones were found
In the murky waters near the bank of the river.

Who's passing blame or pointing a finger?
Who's going to turn a blind eye to sorrow?
How many more asylum seekers
Will lose their lives today or tomorrow?

Farewell to Oscar and Angie Valeria.
Let's hope that their deaths will not be in vain.
Urgency should call us to action:
Our treatment of others should be more humane.

-by Bob B (6-27-19)

Greetings from us at Homeland Security.
We hope you had a pleasant journey.
But keep in mind there's no guarantee
That you won't exit on a gurney.

You should love our border camps,
Which are still progressing in stages.
We have “subdivided rooms.”
(We don't like to call them cages.)

We strive to stifle criticism.
Please ignore our critics' lore.
Doesn't everybody love
To camp out on a cold, hard floor?

We provide you with a blanket.
What? One is not enough?
Crowded rooms should keep you warm.
Exposure to germs will make you tough!

Lest you feel our detention centers
Are too uncomfortable or stark,
We leave the lights on for twenty-four hours
Daily in case you're afraid of the dark.

What? You say you need a doctor?
Come on, beggars can't be choosers.
Toothbrushes? Toothpaste? Soap?
Those are just for wimps or losers.

We all want your stay to be
Just as pleasant as we can make it.
True, some have died, but they’re
The weaker ones who cannot take it.

If your kids were taken away,
We don't mean to disrespect you,
But since only God knows where they are,
Then we'll let God reconnect you.

Locking kids in windowless
Warehouses in our recollection
Is a way to offer the kids
Security and protection.

If perhaps you’re seeking asylum,
One little thing might give you pause:
The president is working on
Ways to change asylum laws.

We know the whole idea of camps
Polarizes, or causes a schism.
In figuring out what to call them,
We prefer the euphemism.

So, enjoy your stay until
The powers that be decide your fate.
If you’re lucky, you’ll get a shower
During your long, protracted wait.

-by Bob B (6-24-19)

(An experiment, this poem can be sung to the tune of "America" from "West Side Story.")

(Fans)
Donald Trump, oh,
You fearless leader.
Of praise you are so deserving.
Never liking what critics say…
And always hoping they'll go away.

(Critics)
Donald Trump, oh,
You nasty leader--
One who’s so blind and self-serving.
Only caring about the rich.
Your biggest concerns: your sales pitch,
And the people who snitch,
And the money you earn,
And the people you burn….
When will they ever learn
How you're destroying this nation?
And still you expect admiration!

(Fans)
We all agree we like Donald Trump.
We want to be more like Donald Trump.
Our cup of tea: it is Donald Trump.

(Critics)
Lying is key when you're Donald Trump.

(Fans)
We want to visit his tower.

(Critics)
Watch him accumulate power!

(Fans)
We think he rules us with finesse.

(Critics)
Though he's an autocrat, too. Yes?

(Fans)
Drilling off shore: that's with Donald Trump.
He'll never bore you--not Donald Trump.
Job growth will soar with our Donald Trump.

(Critics)
Tariffs galore with your Donald Trump!

(Fans)
We're going to vote for him next year!

(Critics)
It's hard to believe you are sincere.

(Fans)
The man is great; don't forget it.

(Critics)
Sorry, you're going to regret it.

Immigrants fear Mr. Donald Trump.
They won't go near Mr. Donald Trump.
One thing is clear about Donald Trump:
A racketeer he is--Donald Trump!

(Fans)
He says we all should do all right.

(Critics)
If you are rich and if you’re white!

(Fans)
Four more years will be a blessing.

(Critics)
Four more years would be distressing!

(Fans)
Well, don't you know that with Donald Trump
Stocks will all grow, yes, with Donald Trump?
You'll make more dough, yes, with Donald Trump.

(Critics)
With quid pro quo, yes, with Donald Trump.

(Fans)
If he wins, we're gonna be glad.

(Critics)
If he wins, we’re gonna be sad.

(Fans)
Certainly, no one can beat him.

(Critics)
Anyone, you must defeat him!

(All)
La la la la la la la…la…la…
La la la la la la la…la…la…
La la la la la la la…la…la…
La la la la la la la…¡Olé!

-by Bob B (6-19-19)

(Can be sung to the tune of the 1922 song "Toot, Toot, Tootsie, Good-bye")

Good-bye, Sarah,° good-bye!
Good-bye, Sarah. Nice try.
The press won't have to fight you.
We hope you learned that lying will come back to bite you.
Maybe, Sarah, you'll see
Most will have to agree:
It can be grim out on a limb
When Donald Trump expects you to keep lying for him.
Good-bye, Sarah. Say why.
Good-bye, Sarah, good-bye!

Good-bye, Sarah, good-bye!
Good-bye, Sarah. Don’t sigh.
No more briefings start the day.
But when you led them, they were useless anyway.
When you're gone will you know
How low you had to go?
Hey, what the hell:
Trump thinks you're swell.
Those "countless FBI agents" will bid you farewell.
Sarah, keep a dry eye.
Good-bye, Sarah, good-bye!

-by Bob B (6-14-19)

°Sarah Huckabee Sanders, press secretary to Donald Trump

On a night three years ago this week
Forty-nine people died
In a mass shooting that once again
Left the country horrified.

The Pulse nightclub, Orlando, Florida,
A place of nighttime revelry,
Became the target where a hater
Carried out his shooting spree.

Maybe among the victims' names
Are none that you can now recall.
Nevertheless, the incident
Is one that affects us all.

It's sad when conditions are such
That mass shootings become the norm.
It's equally sad when lawmakers
Shy away from gun-law reform.

And sad, too, it is when hate-filled
Bigots boldly advocate
That the deaths of forty-nine clubbers
Should be a cause to celebrate!

Shame on them who take religion
And shape it into deadly words
That they sling at innocent victims
While stirring up hatred among their herds.

The path to truth is a winding path;
It's easy to stumble, easy to stray.
Some start out with good intentions
But then get lost along the way.

So many anniversaries
Of mass shootings to recognize!
Will the light break through the clouds
Of ignorance? We can only surmise.

-by Bob B (6-14-19)

Remembering the victims of the Pulse nightclub shooting:

Stanley Almodovar III, 23
Amanda Alvear, 25
Oscar A. Aracena-Montero, 26
Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33
Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21
Martin Benitez Torres, 33
Antonio D. Brown, 30
Darryl R. Burt II, 29
Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24
Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28
Simon A. Carrillo Fernandez, 31
Juan Chevez-Martinez, 25
Luis D. Conde, 39
Cory J. Connell, 21
Tevin E. Crosby, 25
Franky J. Dejesus Velazquez, 50
Deonka D. Drayton, 32
Mercedez M. Flores, 26
Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22
Juan R. Guerrero, 22
Paul T. Henry, 41
Frank Hernandez, 27
Miguel A. Honorato, 30
Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40
Jason B. Josaphat, 19
Eddie J. Justice, 30
Anthony L. Laureano Disla, 25
Christopher A. Leinonen, 32
Brenda L. Marquez McCool, 49
Jean C. Mendez Perez, 35
Akyra Monet Murray, 18
Kimberly Morris, 37
Jean C. Nieves Rodriguez, 27
Luis O. Ocasio-Capo, 20
Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25
Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36
Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32
Enrique L. Rios Jr., 25
Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37
Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24
Christopher J. Sanfeliz, 24
Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35
Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25
Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34
Shane E. Tomlinson, 33
Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25
Luis S. Vielma, 22
Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37
Jerald A. Wright, 31