Let's talk about depression
And genetic resemblances

I get my unflattering resemblance from my father,
My mental illnesses from my mother
My addictions?
Well they course through both sides

I'm not on the verge of paranoia anymore
Or maybe it's just like,
If you want to **** me
Go for it
I feel completely dead and alone
And you might think it's narcissistic but
I know very few would attend my funeral

I had this strange behaver
I used to tell people all these sweet things,
And I meant them because
I wanted people to feel good for themselves
But I also just wanted people to grow feelings for me

To prove there was something
Worth seeing in me

And the absolute tragic thing is?
I know someone would hold my hands
While they shake
They won't second guess why
I can't look at their face

But I just have this nagging feeling
That they will disappear because
They won't see anything worthwhile in me
Like every boy has before

I know what you're thinking
I'm playing the victim,
Poor me in the absolute
Basic of ways

I know what you see
And I know what you say
This lost soul,
Nothing going for them at all

And you would be absolutely right.
About every little thing you think of me
But I'm not playing the victim,
Or my best hand at guilt tripping

I took responsibility
For ruining everything at my own free will,
With these very hands
That shake and hurt and tremble,
Freeze while holding a cold one

Because I can't drink this lonely away,
I can't forget their faces and
All of my many mistakes

I am dead inside with the slightest
Insight of the person you admired me for
The one that cared too much,
That wanted the best for everyone
But myself,
The charmer and protecter

I can't shake this alone away,
Everyone's found something so much better
And well,
There's nothing left for me,
No room or time to care about me

I wish I could die but
I also wish I could just go back in time

Even with bettering my life
This feeling of utter aloneness
Would still thrive on the flickering flame
Of everything I will never truly be again