Have you seen what I'm working with now?
I'm running it into the ground,
Bringing it to my level.
You were down here once, too.
I'm ultimately sure of it.
Are you doing your smirk at my sad existence?
Or just watching it pass by?
Maybe that salt life is still calling your name.
It's funny either way,
You have a way of popping up.
I wanted to ask you why you used to look at me like that.
Used to, that's the big part.
Now you can't even look at me,
Red means go to me,
Just in my head for a minute.
The sweet relief of metal in my side and broken glass in my skull.
Just a minute of daydreaming of everything ending.
Maybe if it was on the couch and the scratching of nails
From my dog being locked in its crate,
Heavy breathing was heard.
I would have asked you and now, years later,
A different house and a different couch,
That grasshopper noise would stick with me
Why am I writing about this?
Why do I even think about it?
This year has been a record breaking year.
I'm no longer negative about anything,
Just my self and my sad existence.
I guess that's what happens when you've finally
Been hit with a train wreck and you're frozen,
Grounded to the spot with the hard hitting reality
That everything is my fault.