Before you go
Write something I'd only know
Without ever braving to show

Write about the humidity
Of that day,
Write about the thickness of tongues
Holding back words too scared to say

Write about how I wanted your arm
To be around me then,
How that light somehow dwindled and dimmed

Tell the story of blue and grey,
The way we were carefree that day
And your cheeks blushed in a different kind of way
About the memories for you won't stay
And how every picture loses meaning
And like a sunset, begins to fade

Write about the way you replace this thing,
Cover the discolored paint with the beauty your new life brings

Send it disclosured to me,
I'll rub my thumb along it to help my blindness see
All the things you wished I used to be

I'll brand it on my skin,
Lace it down with ribbons the color of your eyes
And show the world every time
Placed over my treasured heart,
A feeling of sublime

I wonder why
people are utterly so
mean and careless
in the world and times
have changed a lot
since then.

I was mean and destructive,
fell far off course and became
some horrible person.
I lost myself and the sight
I should have kept.

I hope life continues
to treat you with the utmost kindest ways
and I hope there's rough times
but I know you'd make it
through them easily.

And maybe my words,
they don't mean what they did
to you back then.
But I am so proud of you.
I'm sorry life disfigured me,
turned me into what isn't enough.

But I'm finding my way again
And regardless of what anyone thinks of me,
or how they believe
I don't deserve an easy life,
I know I can make it through.

Because you're not that same person and
neither will I ever be.
Some people go in phases of three within their life.
Who they were,
Who they became,
And the person they choose to be.

I don't want to be negative anymore,
I don't want to be bitter towards everyone
Bitter to the point it's hard to hold a conversation with me.
I don't want to look for the bad in people.
I don't want to have to be numb to be able to feel like I'm something worth more than dirt.

I don't want to be ******* myself
and bring everyone down.
I want to be the person that still goes up and asks old people if they need help.
Not because I feel like I have to keep that up,
to withstand the appearance that I'm fine and normal
But because I want to help people
I don't want to put myself down with the way I look or think.
I know I'm not perfect but I know someone out there
Will see past the insecurities and physical
And just see that my bite isn't anything like the way I feel,
Like you once did

I don't know the person you are now and I don't think I ever will,
But I choose to believe you wouldn't be so mean.
I choose to believe you're still nice and caring like you were.
And that will help me get through my hard days
And will help me remember how far I'll have come on my bad days.

Whoever you are now,
I hope life is beautiful and brilliant because that's all I wanted for the boy I knew back then.

They know how to hide

  Their favorites in life really well

    And I'm no longer gonna

      Waste my time, it's different

Because everything was wrong

           Before recollection struck

   And I'm leaving my past behind

But I won't leave you behind

               You don't want a part

    But that's fine,

       You have plenty of parts

              To make up for lost time

I'm happy for you

         In everything that you do

You were the best and only

             Good thing that actually

    Happened to me thus far,

I won't ever abandon that

          Reminder when everyone

Slithers and begs to see me

             Tumble far, far down

I hope you're not one that

     Thinks like that of me

                    But I will carry you

   Through this pain with me

Because I knew your

             Pure heart once like you

  Once knew I had one

                       I disappoint the best,

     I make up in undying devotion

             Deep within my soul

    I hope you're ultimately happy,

       I hope you are truly whole

Oh



I told you not to stand beside them

And you told me of another,

The one before

And hey,

No one compares to the first,

Right?

And it's good if you're

Finally able to give it all,

You know?

Finally able to be free


'Cause he works at camps


And he's happy and been


Together for years and ****,


How about some compassion?


He was my first.