I can’t keep my promise any longer.
Feelings for you, only grow stronger
As I lie here, remembering, hating.
But I find myself now questioning, debating.
Was what I did right? Is it the best?
Thoughts that started out small, now won’t give me rest.
In fact, I sit here now writing
Over this subject, fighting
While I should be sleeping. But then I wonder,
Did I rob you of sleep, did your heart I sunder?
Did you lie awake many a night,
Regretting our fight,
Asking yourself if it was your fault?
I lie awake many a night,
Regretting our fight,
Recognizing now that it was my fault.
You weren’t cold. You were desperate.
I wasn’t loyal. I was deaf, and let
My ears hear your words, but missed your heart.
Your mouth whispered “hate me,”
But your heart screamed “love me.”
The voice I listened to was the wrong one
And I’m living, fearing it’s over and done.
The second chance is a gift we’re all given.
You gave me a hundred, after your heart was yet riven.
I threw it away and walked on, cold
Not knowing I’d regret it long before I’m old.
Though did I really hate? Or was it ignorance?
I believed I was doing as bidden. Void of sense.
The voices around me: all my family, many a friend
Did misguide me into believing it was a proper end.
But the voices inside me are bringing me awake.
They tell me I should risk my beliefs, and make
One last call, begging you me to take.

Mornings fall
Darkness rise
Man ne’er looking to the skies
Pleading not
Suff’ring so
Wallowing in tort’rous woe
Blinded to
Their own doubt
Gnawing, chewing, hollows out
Precious souls
They don’t care
Where to go? Now what to wear?
Worthless cares
Don’t they see?
Devil’s snares of “me, me, me”
Much success
Though contrite
Robbed so eas’ly of their sight
Cry to God!
Oh, little man
Only He saves, with His plan

Emotions, flooding, pouring in
Is this right? Is this sin?
Why do I fluster when you I see,
I thought love was something kept from me.
But can love this be? I don’t comprehend,
These new emotions my familiar perception bend.
But questioning even so
Tears my heart to and fro.
I cannot doubt! I cannot turn.
I can but you forever yearn.

Amazing, diving, swimming, sinking.
In your eyes, deep I’m drinking.
Hair it flows like river rows
Cascading down, I can but drown.
Water goddess, I plead to thee
Turn thy eyes now just to me
And hear my heart desp’rate, crying
Loud and frantic, swiftly dying
To immerse itself in your deep soul
Yours promises to make mine whole.
Intriguing, driving, stunning, striking.
This new feeling I think I’m liking.

Painted sky
Plastered high
Watching, gliding calmly by
Mottled clouds not caring why
North Star singing “Here am I”
Phantom darkness setting in
Gently cloaking beast and men
Shading all, noble, vile
Sweet caressing all the while
Peeking moon doth crack a smile
Cloud-lined aisle
Heaven’s tile

Sparkling edge of universe glisten
The stars sit and raptly listen
To the chorus of dark skies
Seeing all with shining eyes
Bubbling spirits, undying joy
Heavens unleash their fine employ
Love falls down, o’erwhelming flood
From above pour celestial blood
Fills the veins of those who hear
Encore of day that once was here
All the while, Moon stands by
Pulsing brightly, hanging high
Rolling scars across his face
Lighting earth with soft grace
Peering down casually so
Observing the enrapturous flow
Those who see can but rejoice
With such display, there is no choice
If one holds in, heart would burst
So each yells joy, striving first
God now gives us awesome gift
So we gaze in holy rift

I lay there so silently
Blinking, thinking, quietly
In the darkness in the gloom
Impending, coming, looming doom
End of thoughts, pond’ring not
Mind is blank, no song, no plot
Emotions come not to me
And yet they do, constantly
No line, no order, lords Chaos come
It’s as good as if there were none.
To be poem is to be complex and yet
Too compound is this to be writ and set.
I think not what this problem means
For when my mind touches there, void endless seems
Falling nowhere in the nothing, mind recoils
Snap me back to life and its foils.

Help! it’s a cry. Floundering as I lie
Help! it’s a scream. Splitting at my seam
In this mediocre cycle of a life-dream.