Blood Word

Blood Word Oct 2011

Chasing

Why won’t you hear? Why won’t you see?
I don’t want you to want any but me
My heart is raw, yours is numb
I feel you are deaf and dumb
To me alone, but to all others you gawk
Chasing after them like a hovering hawk
I figure in my mind, I reason away
That you get attention and like it that way
But you know commitment of heart is mine
You hate thinking of being tied down to a line
Even if that cord be anchored deep
And from the surging ocean keep
Safe and sound, forever held
In my arms, our hearts meld
No, the thought of that you can’t stand
So I stand alone with an empty hand
Staring at it upraised, forlorn, I’m thinking
Maybe, it’s best, but with that thought I’m sinking
In darkened void with destructive intent
No, you and me, somehow, it is meant.

"Chasing" was written after I began to realize that my long-time crush didn't return my feelings for me the way I thought she did. Surprisingly enough, it is actually a favorite of hers.
This poem was written August 21, 2010, at 11:00pm.

Blood Word Oct 2011

Approach

All alone sitting here
Heart froze up with anxious fear
I stare at you across the room
And plot my own impending doom
Or so it feels, emotions raw
With a wild, hungry maw
Threaten me to consume
My chest crashing: boom, boom, boom
Though with death right in my face
I would never trade my place
For I am walking t’ward you now
But don’t ask me exactly how
My legs are rubber, feet are numb
I stutter “hi,” feeling dumb
You turn to me and grow a smile
All else good compared is vile
Yes, death took me; light-filled view
‘Cuz I’m in heaven, here with you

When I first wrote "Approach", I could not decide whether I wanted it to be "Approach" or "First Meeting". Over the years, I've switched back and forth between the names. I believe I have finally decided upon "Approach" as the most appropriate name for it.
I never actually experienced this feeling. I wrote purely from observation and imagination.
I wrote this poem June 3, 2010.

Blood Word Oct 2011

You Love Me

You love me. So you say.
I love you. This I may.
You love me. This I doubt.
I love you. This I shout.

Forsake my all for all to gain
On heart of yours mine eyes I train.
Seek my soul you do need not
For it is yours, already got.
Mine eyes I take and give to you
For you are blind to what is true.
I love you more than life itself
And yet somehow you miss this wealth.

I long to give my all and more
A love that spans from coast to shore.
But you need first see I adore
Before I give my heart so sore
Else it fall without your hands
To catch it on the mournful sands.

I love you. I declare.
You love me. This I dare.
I love you. This I say.
You love me. This I pray.

"You Love Me" is most likely my favorite poem that I have written.
This poem was written June 2, 2010.

Blood Word Oct 2011

You

I love you more than the ocean loves the water in it. I love you more than a flower loves the sunshine that makes it glisten. I love you more than the hawk loves the wind that empowers him.

Is an ocean an ocean without the waters that fill it? You are the water that imbues me with purpose and makes me who I am.

Can a flower grow and bloom without the sunshine that nourishes it? Can its petals be enjoyed without the rays that make it shine? You make me flourish. Your radiance is the light behind my every smile.

Can a hawk fly without the wind beneath his wings, raising him towards the blue sky? Can he enjoy true freedom without the graceful, invigorating hand of the wind? You are the wind that lifts me up and delivers me to freedom. Your love lets me fly.

"You" is my second poem. It is my first free form attempt. I wrote it for a friend of mine on whom I had a crush. A lot of my inspiration comes from her.
This poem was written May 23, 2010, at 1:00am.

Blood Word Oct 2011

Illness

I have an illness no pill can cure
I'm sick inside, this time dead for sure
Your fault? oh no. Not you who made me fall
Your words, your touch? Wasn't that at all
How could such a lying heart
Like yours, tear my fragile one apart?
Every sweet word, all lies
Every soft touch, I despise
Oh, my heart, no longer aches
Oh, my heart, no longer breaks
For what is dead, cannot die.

This was my very first serious attempt at poetry. I imagine it as an idea for a set of lyrics to a song. One friend of mine suggested that it would fit very well as a The Rasmus song.
This poem was written in December 2009.

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