You told me its okay not to be okay but darling its only okay when you're around
You flow through my blood and invade my insides
You make your way to my heart and slowly take over
I asked you to love me,
Love me till im me again
Make me feel whole again.
You're in my veins and i dont want you out
i was in love with the idea of you
pulsating through me
it's almost as if
my heart beat started to sound like your name
my insides are chanting
calling for you
seventy-six times a minute
can you hear it?
can you feel it?
i wish you could
but our hearts never could beat in sync
together we created a sort of pandemonium
never white noise
timing was never our strong-suit
but if it were
you and i would have ruled the world.

rainy afternoons
empty hearts
where are you?
i grab a fistful of sand and watch it as it slips away through the spaces between my fingers
the spaces where your fingers should be
it seems like yesterday you were here with me
i wish you were here
i wish i could tell you everything that roams through my mind
do you ever wonder what i'm doing?
[please tell me you do]
do you ever wonder if i still love you?
i wish you were still beside me
what i'd do to watch you fall asleep beside me
oh what i'd do to have you back
all i have left is an ashtray of feelings
cigarette buds that spell out your name
poisoned lungs
im left alone with my thoughts
If only, if only, if only, if only
its driving me insane
darling, my nail beds are raw from all the biting
my wrists are sore from all this writing
*my ribs are bruised from all this heart ache