I can recognize these words anywhere as if they're my own. I miss you, so much. It hits me randomly and took my breath away. And in those moments, I just want to abandon everything and go to you, consequences be ******.

You've loved me when I couldn't face myself. I loved you, still love you, and will love you even when you don't like yourself. I think I've loved you forever, the knot in my stomach told me so.

I have to believe you feel the same for me. Were we ever anything but each other's reflection? I know we're more than that, but lately this thought plagued my mind.

I've been moving through the motions missing parts of me. It's like, I'm smiling and living but it doesn't feel right-- incomplete. And I know where those missing parts lay.

I don't want to lose myself for you nor do I want that for you. That's not love. But I do want to jump into the deep end and swim to shore with you.

You are worth it, so take my hand. Even if you're scared, just take my hand anyway. I love you, I love us, I miss us. So look at me, hold my gaze and don't walk away. I haven't left, just learning and healing. I want to come home. So let me, let us go home.

I was a man with hollow eyes,
Reaching for light but buried inside,
You held me close, warm in your glow,
But how could I give what I didn’t know?

You saw the good, I saw the gray,
You called me love, I turned away,
Afraid to show the scars I keep,
Afraid that love was more than deep.

You made me feel, if only brief,
That I could be more, find some relief.
In your arms, the shadows stilled,
But alone they grew, unfilled.

How can I love you, when I don’t even try
To love the man who hides behind my eyes?
When all I feel is lost and wrong,
When all I breathe is shadowed song?

You loved a shell, a fragile thing,
A heart too broken to let you in.
Now I sit alone, torn and blue—
How could I love you, when I don’t know how to love me too?

How do I let you leave
When you've seen me naked
By naked I don't mean my clothes stripped off
Of my scarred flesh
I mean when my smile was disrobed
My tears were unveiled,
I mean when my screams were haunting
Our demised house
And my claw scrapes all over our scarlet walls.

I mean when my bloodhound self
Was wild with madness of grief,
And when everyone abandoned me
Just because I was a bit human.
You saw me naked.

You saw my orbs turn to the color of night,
You saw my lips fade to the color of daffodils.
You saw my body covered with fresh stamps of silent howls,
You saw my body torn wide with black flowers blooming out.
You have seen me naked
In my white clothes which are now soaked red.

Only you can wash out the tint which is permanent,
So tell me, how do I let you leave?
When you've seen me all stripped off.

You there, in the shadows deep,
A soul adrift, in the silence you keep.
Your presence whispers, a ghostly hue,
Lost in the crowd, unnoticed, it's true.

You long for connection, a hand to hold,
But the world rushes by, cold and bold.
In the solitude of your quiet despair,
you're longing, your silent prayer.

Your silence speaks volumes, louder than words,
Echoing loneliness, like distant birds.
But hear me now, in this quiet refrain,
I see you, I feel you, I share your pain.

So hold on tight, dear soul, don't fear,
For I am here, always near.
In the depths of your despair, it's true,
I haven't forgotten you, and I never will do

I am still heavily in love with you. I have tried with every fiber of my being to move on and to let go, but you are still everything to me. You are my vessel. You have crawled inside my ribcage and made a home within me. My heart doesn’t beat the same without you. I'm in so much pain. Everything reminds me of you much more than it did when we were in a relationship. I miss you so much. I don't have the energy to talk with anyone else. I want you. I need you. Only you. I don't think I'll be able to find anyone else even if they're better in some way. I've looked at your photos these few days more than I ever have before. You're so beautiful. I can't stop smiling when I look at you and I feel like annoying you and teasing you. All I want is to be with you, to touch you, to feel you, to hug you tight, to see you smile, to just be happy together. I don't know how long I can survive without you like this. I can't live without you.

These words are not enough.

The way that I miss you tears a hole in me. It feels like an entire section of my existence is gone. I feel an infinite sadness with your absence.

I can say over and over again that I miss you but it doesn't begin to cover the gist of it.

I spiral. I wonder if you miss me. I wonder if you think about me. I wonder if you want me there. I wonder if I creep into your thoughts throughout the day. I go down this rabbit hole repeatedly.

Do you miss me?

I miss you so much it hurts. I feel alone. I can't get out of this spiral. I don't miss the thought of you. I don't miss the idea of you. I don't miss my interpretation of you.

I miss YOU.

I'm in a room full of people, and not one of them is you. You are the only person I can think about. How are you? Have you eaten? Did you sleep?

I'm here to admit that you gave me peace. The night we met changed my life forever. The moment I looked into your eyes was the day I realized I wanted you in my life. You gave me the love and company no one ever seemed to give me. I was the type to never let someone see right through me, until you. You were the only person to get a chance to meet the real me. Thank you for never once judging me and accepting me for who I am. I've never felt alone when I was with you. Watching you go has been the hardest thing to feel. I'm lost without you. I hope that in the next life, we'll be together forever. Just for now, I'll be staring at the moon in hopes you're looking right at me too. You look so beautiful amongst the stars.

I love you.

​

I never told you, but you saved me. When I met you, I was at the lowest point of my life. I felt invisible, insignificant. And then you came into my life with your energy, your laughter, and that way of making everyone around you feel special. You were the first person in a long time who truly saw me, who cared about me beyond the surface. I don’t know if you ever realized how much you meant to me. Maybe for you, it was just another friendship, something temporary. But for me, you were everything. You gave me reasons to smile when I thought I had none left. You showed me that life had more to offer, and that it was worth continuing. I still think about you, and it hurts that we drifted apart. I never told you, but thank you. Really, thank you for everything.

I just want you to know this.

You may never truly know how deeply I cared for you as a person. I expressed my affection in ways that felt sincere to me, but it wasn’t enough nor aligned with what you really wanted. Your words made it clear that this relationship was not as real as I had hoped, and it never was.

You say you wish you had genuine connections, yet it seems you struggle to understand what that truly means. You’ll never know that everyday I woke up with you on my mind. I would always think how can I make your day better, or show you how special you were to me. I realized that I was mistaken to believe this was something more than what it was.

That said, I am at peace. I have a life filled with stability, support, and real love of friends and family. I have so many good things in my life to look forward to. I know I’ll be okay and I know I’ll find someone who will reciprocate the love I give. Even if I don’t it’s still better than whatever this was.

In contrast, I know the reality of your life and it is full of loneliness, sadness, and uncertainty.

In truth, we will both move on and forget each other, but for different reasons. I will let go because you have shown this was never a real relationship, and you are undeserving of my love and affection. You won’t have to worry about any selfishness from me again.

As for you, you will likely forget me amidst the many faces that come and go in your life. I fear you will never know love or experience true friendship, and deep down, you know it too.

Goodbye

Yes, I'm mad. I'm heartbroken. I'm hurt. But I hope you know that it's okay.

I don't want to minimize what you've done, and the hurt you've caused me, but I hope you know that it's okay. No excuses. No justification. But I get it. As poorly as you've handled things, you never intended to hurt me, or at least I'd like to think not.

I hope you're eating well, sleeping well. I hope you haven't shut yourself off from people. I hope you’re not sad or lonely, and that someone is there for you when I’m not. I hope you're not killing yourself with the regret. I hope you're doing okay.

If you're wondering why I'm not reaching out, it's not because I hate you or don’t want to talk to you (in fact, it’s the opposite). It’s because I need the space to heal and the self respect to walk away from one-sided relationships, and stop hurting myself trying to force or fix issues that aren't mine to fix.

If the guilt or heartbreak is eating you up, please know that I don't want you to do that. What's done is done. You have nothing to grovel for anymore. I just hope you don't do it again, to anyone.

C'mon, you really think I can hate you? After everything? I love you too much to stay angry with you. I still love you, actually. I know you might not be too sure about that, because we haven't spoken in a while. But I do. Regardless of what happens.

If by some chance you ever want to reach out again, I hope you know that I'll be here to talk… one day. I'm open to fixing things eventually.

Again, I hope you're doing well, love. Take care.

I find myself staring at my phone more often than I care to admit, waiting for a notification that you’ve thought of me, even if just for a moment. It's funny how something as simple as a text can mean so much. Every vibration, every chime—I still hope it’s you.

I know we couldn't be together the way we wanted. Life, circumstances, and everything in between made it impossible, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still want you. Not just in the fleeting moments when I’m alone and missing you, but always. I think about the way you smile when you're nervous, the sound of your voice when you say my name, and how everything just felt right, even when nothing was.

Even though we’re apart, I can’t help but hold on to the idea of you. I wish things could be different. I wish there was a world where we didn't have to think about anyone else, where your smile wasn’t something I only got to imagine. But for now, I’ll wait. I’ll wait for those texts that remind me we’re still connected in some small way, even if we can't be together.

No matter where life takes us, know that I’ll always be here, hoping, waiting, and cherishing every little piece of you that you choose to share. And even if that time never comes, I’ll always carry the memory of what we had and what could have been.

And I hate this. I hate all of it. I could never hate you.

I'm the one that left in the end, but you left me first.

I look for signs every single day.

Ultimately, you've moved on.

You were my soulmate, but I wasn't yours.

It's been so long. And they say time heals all wounds. Why does it hurt more every day? The seconds feels like minutes, and the minutes feel like hours.

We both did ****** things.

But I've been as good as dead since the day I last saw you.

I hate everyone, and everything, that isn't you. It's always been that way. You took down some heavy walls, and I built stronger ones when you left. I don't want anyone to know me, ever again. I'm just counting down my days.

I'm sorry.

Hey, it's been a while since we last talked, and I know that you don't want to talk to me, or hear from me, at all. You are right, I would hate me too.

I know that I made it seem like I never cared about you, or like your absence had no effect on me, but I think of you everyday, and I long to talk to you everyday. At this point, I think that I'm only okay when I'm busy. I'm really sorry for everything I've done. I care about you, enormously. I love you still. I know that there's nothing I could say to make it better, so I say nothing.

I wish I could talk to you, and see how you're doing. How life has been treating you. But I know that I would only hinder your healing and make you sad. I don't want to make you sad again. I don't want to see your teary eyes ever again.

You were my angel. You have touched my soul in a way that no one ever did before. And I will forever live with your memory.

I felt you cut our soul tie. Or at least actively disengage. You're no longer with me in the back of my mind. I still think of you, although it's different now. It's disappointing and hard to accept, but I respect your choice.

I'm not devastated that you're choosing to forget I exist. I don't see myself as part of a whole, as a fraction of a person because I miss you. You won't catch me crying into my pillow for you to come back. Don't misunderstand, I love you. But I love myself more. And so I'm not heartbroken. I'm just... sad.

I won't ever be over you. I won't ever be over us. If things ever change, I hope you reach out. We're both keen on burning bridges as masochistic self destruction. There are no embers here. The bridge still stands. You have an open invitation to cross it. But I'm not waiting for you.

It's going to be fine.

Stay strong, eat well and keep working out.

Keep loving those who love you.

You may feel like you're falling apart, but you're a phoenix that rises from the ashes and flies higher than ever.

Don't give up. Keep yourself going. You can do this.

It's not easy, but good things don't come easy. They never do. That's what is so satisfying about them.

Keep fighting and everything will work out.

Just don't give up.

everyday that passes i feel like i miss you more than every day prior. i miss you to death.

to death.

until i die?

until you die?

is it till death do we part?

i don’t understand this expression but i also feel like i understand it all too well.

this feeling is very strange.

i miss you so much i feel like i could die? what could that possibly mean?

it means that when i miss u i feel like my soul is

trying to escape, just to get to you

and its leaving my body.

like my heart wants to stop beating

because it is angry at me for taking the rest of my

body away from yours.

that or it beats harder and more painfully.

beating so loudly in attempt to let you hear it

screaming for yours.

even when i’m sleeping my skin feels the weight of your absence.

when my mind wanders it wanders to you.

my whole being is trying to escape to you.

when my ears hear music, when my eyes see art.

you.

if you never write back to me dramatically.

if i never see you again,

if i never hear from you,

smell you

touch you

taste you

i will die, simply, having missed you to death.

Missing you is like playing a guitar.
It’s tucked close to my chest,
folded in my arms and pressed against my heart.

I play the strings in a soft melody,
barely thinking as the sound fills the room.
I’m trying to recreate the way you made me feel,
but nothing compares to the moment
when you first kissed me.
Nothing compares to the rainy daydreams you filled my head with
when you first smiled at me.

I can say missing you is like feeling empty,
or a rainy day,
but missing you is like playing a guitar
because it feels so right for me.
I never deserved you,
and my guitar doesn't deserve to be heavy,
nostalgia singing to the strings.
So missing you will feel like playing guitar
just so it doesn't hurt as much.

I want to rip my chest open and force feed you my beating heart.

I want you to see it.

I want you to feel the the rush of the warm red blood on your face.

I want you to feel how mangled I am. I want you to see the damage. The emptiness...? No. I want you to see the carnage.

Maybe then you would understand.

When you ask me

"How are you doing?"

I quietly stitch myself back up, and smile back at you. 'I'm alright, and you?'

Both of our souls are dead.

I saw you with him and still smiled,
I was in pain and spoke to you and felt alive,
Every moment i spent with you was a mixed feeling ,
And yet all i wanted was to be with you,
To make you smile and laugh,
And then it felt like I could do anything for you,
I just wanted you to be happy
Even if it meant not with me
And then you asked me for the ultimate sacrifice
To let you go even as a friend
And here I am, still wanting you to be happy
Whatever it means

I want you
Not only the pretty you
Not only the beautiful you
I want all of you
Your imperfections that you care
Those scars of the past that you hide
All those dreams you want to share
And all the tears that you fight

I want you
Not for today not for tomorrow
I want you to be forever
So we could share our happiness and also sorrow

The you, now maybe confused
The you, now maybe scared
The you now may be traumatized
The you now maybe facing some unknown fear
And for that may be ,reason is me

Want to be together but not only in happiness
Want you beside me , holding hands also in your sadness
Want to wrap my arms around you , so you can heal by my side
So close that you can feel my love and nervousness I hide

Let's paint our own , a beautiful love story
With the paints of love and colours so bright
That will never stop just like a ocean tide.
It may sound crazy now or even impossible
But believe me
On this path of life with me
Because we have so much to do, remember

Let’s get wrapped up, deep sensual chemistry,
Going swimming in loves waters you see,
Adding fire, making steam,
Plucking our senses like guitar strings,
Vulnerabilities resonating,
After caring, proper, attentive tunings,
I want to ******* like my pen makes love to this page,
Like spirits speak to a sage,
Like passion in fury,
Like the rawness of rage,
Like birds set free from a cage,
I want to unleash myself unto you,
Like I want to unleash myself unto myself, unto the universe,
Finding just what it means to do justice to life’s mysteries,
The must have’s and must be’s,
The must do’s and must see’s,
The must touch and must breathes,
Like the ****** of the universe, the almighty Big Bang,
I want to begin, again, and again, and again.
With you.

And perhaps we will meet again

in another lifetime.

But for now, I will wallow in the pain

that which your absence has caused.

Your absence feels cold

but that’s okay.

I will wrap myself in a blanket

of memories of you,

to try and mimic the warmth

that you once gave me.

You didn’t mean to leave,

and that’s okay.

For the coldness of your absence

is a reminder of how warmly

you loved in this lifetime.

I told the moon about you.

And it listened so intently.

Its silence is a welcome mat to my deepest desires.

Careful to share my full desires for fear, being vague leaves room for interpretation.

I told the moon about you.

And I wished more for you than for myself.

For even my desires require your consent.

I told the moon about you.

And I bared my soul in the glow of its light.

Hoping it would see just how deeply I felt.

I told the moon about you.

And I hope that you looked at it and thought of me.

The way I spend every waking moment thinking of you.

I told the moon about you.

As I lie in bed at night, I wish you were here with me.

Your presence silencing the screaming in my head.

Your touch just a reach away.

I told the moon about you.

Because it listened without judgement.

Gathering my wishes up in it glow.

As it caressed the world around it.

I told the moon about you.

And I hope one day.

You tell it about me too.

My lips tremble in anticipation
as I eagerly press them to your skin.
I kiss your throat softly,
lips lingering as I lead a trail up your neck,
seeking your lips.

Your skin is salty beneath my hungry mouth,
I can feel sparks fly as I sigh into your breath.
Every inch of you I just want to devour,
I imagine your lips pressing against mine softly.
The pressure increasing as my heart beats wildly.

Your tongue slips enticingly into my mouth,
Intimately I taste you and savor the taste.
You kiss me harder, taking over all my senses,
delving into my very being.
Our tongues caress, circling and stroking,

I can't get enough, my body is about to explode.
I'm drowning in desire, my knees are weak,
as my hands roam over your body.
Hands cupping your *** and seeking your *******
leaving a path of fire scorching your skin.

Your fingertips gently tracing and touching my face,
Your heart is pounding so hard in your chest.
You lean into me trying to get closer,
feeling my hardness pressed against my hip.

You smile at the way my body is responding
to yours in need and wanting.
You can't seem to get close enough to me,
my hands roam from your neck to your chest.
I rub your ******* teasingly, longing to kiss them,
as my thigh parts your legs, making your skirt rise.
Rubbing my leg against your burning flesh slowly,

I inhale deeply, making no sound,
as your hands slide down to my waist.
Unfastening my pants eagerly,
You find me hard beneath your touch.
You enclose my engorged manhood gently,
Your mouth caressing, ******* and tasting.
I want you so bad

Yet, I'm not through, ...nor ready,
to give you, the sweet release you crave.
You feel my fingers seeking your inner flesh,
bringing waves of excitement, pleasure.

My finger invades your now wet, innermost turmoil,
You feel a wicked rage of internal passion.
Assaulting your senses, spreading like wildfire,
You beg me to quench your desires.

You look at me, my eyes, smoldering arrest me,
your cheeks growing hot under my gaze.
A  gratifying groan sounds deep in your throat,
Bending my head toward you,
My mouth capturing yours.
Seducing you entirely, endlessly,
your mind, your body, and your soul.
Clothes fall away silently to the floor,
You... now want me... as bad as I want you.

Don’t tell me you want my lips,
Don’t tell me you need my tongue.
Just shut up.
Dig your claws into my back.
Make me bleed
as I pin you against the wall,
Thrusting all of me
into the deepest parts of you,
until our eyes roll back in a
primal flurry
and we feel nothing but a raging fire.

Let the flames melt our pain.
Baptize me in your sweat.
Don’t let me remember what you were
or who I was supposed to be
before I looked.

I hope this finds you well.

You still have my heart-

It beats not in my chest,

but in your hands.

​

Please do not return it-

For all that you may think of it,

it truly is yours.

It has belonged to you since the day we met-

you plucked it out of my chest

with your quick wit and smooth charm.

​

Or rather, it fell right out of my mouth-

flew right past my tied-tongue and outstretched arms.

You called to it, and it sang for you-

gladly leaving me behind.

​

You were a better home, anyway.

You cared for it, nursed it, and for you

it grew and grew

until I got lost in its blooms.

​

So please, I hope you keep it.

If not, just throw it away.

But please don't give it back to me.

It will only ache.

In the quiet of my longing,  
I crave your love, so strong and binding.  
Your touch, a gentle caress I seek,  
Your lips on mine, a feeling so unique.  

Use me, for in your grasp I come alive,  
Abuse me, in your shadow I survive.  
I'm yours, through every moment, come what may,  
A pledge of love, in every single way.  

Though the world says you can't be mine,  
My heart beats for you, through every sign.  
You own me, in every way so true,  
With every breath, I say, "I love you."  

I belong to you and no one else,  
In your love, deeply my heart delves.  
My body and soul, to you, I give,  
For you, and you only, I live.  

This simple truth, my heart knows well,  
In your presence, my heart does swell.  
Though fate may keep us far apart,  
You're always here, in my heart.

In the quiet of my heart, where shadows play and fall apart,  
I hid the truth, behind a smile, a mask that broke after a while.  
I lied to ease the ache inside, hoping I could let it slide.  
But truth shines bright, it shows the way my heart misses you every day.  

"I'm okay," I lied, trying to hide the storm inside.  
Your love, now distant, a fading light, leaves me alone in the night.  
"It's fine," I said, but it's a lie, under the vast, open sky.  
Day and night, I think of you, in everything I do.  

You're all I want, the dream I miss, in every shadow, your tender kiss.  
It's too hard, I can't pretend, I whisper your name, again and again.  
This pain is too much, I can't go on, I feel so lost, now that you're gone.  
Goodbye, my love, this is the end, until another life lets us begin.  

Maybe in a place where time is kind, our paths will cross, and we will find.  
I hope for heaven, to see its light, hoping you're there, shining bright.  
You're my angel, in my heart's deep blue, I'll always, always look for you.  
Farewell, my love, until we're free, in dreams, you'll always be with me.

In a room full of every person I've ever talked to, None would choose me, it's painfully true. Faces familiar, voices once near, Yet I remain unnoticed, lost in their cheer.

Each conversation, a fleeting exchange, But deeper connections, they always estrange. Among the crowd, I stand alone, Invisible, unheard, my heart a stone.

Words spoken, promises made, But in the end, I'm left in the shade. Friendships falter, love fades away, Leaving me wandering, lost in dismay.

Memories echo, whispers of the past, But they're fleeting, they never last. In this room of ghosts, I linger unseen, Yearning for acceptance, in a world so keen.

In a room full of every person I've ever talked to, None would choose me, a fate I can't undo. Yet I would not blame them, for if it was on me, Even I myself would never choose me.

In the quiet corners of my heart,
Where shadows often lurk,
There lies a secret, untouched, unsaid,
A love, profound and deep.

You, the gentle echo in my voice,
The laughter in my days,
A confidante, my partner in crime,
In countless, myriad ways.

We mirror each other, as the moon does the sea,
In our thoughts, our dreams, our shared revelry.
But beneath this camaraderie, there's a longing so true,
A silent whisper, that's always been you.

In the cacophony of life, your voice is my song,
With you, my dear, is where I truly belong.
Yet, there’s this fear that grips me tight,
What if my confession brings a perpetual night?

Would you see me differently, with changed eyes?
Would our bond fracture, under love's weighty ties?
You've transformed me, in ways you’ll never see,
From a lone wolf, to dreaming of a family tree.

Once a recluse, now dreaming of a home,
With you and little feet, in meadows to roam.
But how do I risk, what we already have?
For a love, that could heal or halve.

You, who soothes my storm, gives strength to my soul,
Makes me feel complete, makes me feel whole.
Yet, this unsung ballad in my heart I'll keep,
For fear of losing, the love we have, so deep.

But if ever you wonder, if someone holds you dear,
Look my way, and in my eyes, it’s clear.
For now, let’s cherish the dance, the fun,
Hoping one day, our two hearts become one.

In countless moments, your smile lit my heart,
Silently I cherished, fearing we'd drift apart.
Healing in your presence, a solace so true,
Amid the turmoil, my haven was always you.
Radiance in your laughter, in your eyes, a star so bright.

An ocean of feelings, hidden in the quiet night,
Longing to hold you, through each lonely hour.
Vivid dreams I've had, of you as my wife,
Each passing day, my love for you towers,
Revealing now, my heart, full of this secret power.

You were a dream, bathed in the hues of the sun,
A song yet unsung, a race yet un-run.
Adoration grew in the spaces between heartbeats,
In every shared glance on life's winding streets.

You've been with another, I dared not disrupt,
A silent observer, my feelings abrupt.
Yet, in the sorrow of your love set free,
My heart dared to dream, could you ever love me?

In your presence, my spirit finds its home,
In your laughter, my heart has known,
The sweetest peace, the deepest truth,
In every shared moment of our youth.

Together, our souls dance in the perfect ballet,
In unison, they sway, in harmony, they play.
You are my sun, my moon, my stars above,
You complete me, my dear, in ways words can't love.

With courage born from the deepest affection,
I stand before you, a reflection,
Of love profound, a river wide,
Beneath its current, I no longer hide.

I do not know if your heart sings my song,
But I've known this melody for so long.
In your arms, forever is where I wish to reside,
So, will you take this leap, be my bride?

Each tomorrow may hold joy or sorrow,
Yet, with you, there's no fear of the morrow.
For a life with you is a dream come true,
Oh, my love, how deeply I adore you.

So here I am, my heart laid bare,
In your hands, my soul I share.
A question asked, under the moon's soft glow,
Will you marry me, for I love you so?

In the quiet nights without you, shadows dance,
My thoughts run wild, caught in a chance.
You say you love me, but only as a friend,
My heart in pieces, a puzzle without end.

My soul is trapped, caught in between,
A love that's real and lonely unseen.
When I close my eyes, our love story unfolds,
Awake, my dreams lie shattered, the truth too bold.

Why not me, I ask, under the silent sky,
Were we not destined, you and I?
I could be your all, if only you'd see,
Why not me, oh why not me?

I yearn to love you, if you only knew,
How my love for you endlessly grew.
So why not me, who longs for you so,
In this dance of love, why am I solo?

Even tomorrow, I'll be here to catch your fall,
To be your rock, through it all.
You say we're forever, that our love won't bend,
Still, it feels like drowning, a sorrow without end.

You won't ever know, how far we could stride,
If only you'd choose me, standing by your side.
So why not me, in love's eternal sea,
Why not me, oh why not me?

Why not me, I ask, under the silent sky,
Were we not destined, you and I?
I could be your all, if only you'd see,
Why not me, oh why not me?

I yearn to love you, if you only knew,
How my love for you endlessly grew.
So why not me, who longs for you so,
In this dance of love, why am I solo?

In shadows deep, where sorrow hides,
Within the chasms of the heart,
I've fought the storms, the raging tides,
A warrior, rising from the start.

Through darkened days and endless nights,
I've wandered, lost, within my strife,
Yet with each dawn, the golden lights,
A testament to this enduring life.

Still I rise, despite all trauma,
With a heart emboldened, fierce and strong,
No chains can hold, nor scars define,
The resilience in my spirit's song.

In battles fought, both lost and won,
I've bled and bruised, but never broken,
For every scar tells stories of
The pain endured, a silent token.

My tears have flowed, like rivers deep,
And washed away the hurt and pain,
Yet every wound, no matter steep,
Has shaped the warrior I became.

Still I rise, despite all trauma,
With wings of fire, I soar above,
Beyond the past, the hurt, and chaos,
Embracing life with endless love.

For as the phoenix from the ashes,
I rise, reborn, with courage bright,
To face each day, undaunted by
The darkness, as I seek the light.

Still I rise, despite all trauma,
An anthem of hope, my soul resounds,
With every step, I move forward,
In strength and grace, my spirit bounds.

And in the end, the truth remains,
That life's a journey, rough and wild,
Yet through it all, I'll stand my ground,
For I am trauma's fearless child.

Intertwining hearts, a realm unseen, a divine, pure love serene,
Sublime is the reflection of myself in your azure sheen.
Hearts connected in your soul's mirror, a bond profound,
A universe tearing us apart, yet in another, we're one sound.

Radiant laughter, your song of joy, a melody I long,
A flame that fills the room, your grace, to touch that face I long.
Restrained is my love, a secret hidden in my heart,
A weeping echo, unspoken words, fear of losing tears me apart.

You wander close, yet far away, our paths aligned, yet led astray,
A cruel fate has bound our hands, entangled in another's strands.
My soul, it yearns to call you mine, but destiny won't change its line,
And so I dream of lives beyond, where stars collide, and love's a bond.

In this existence, I've known despair, the bitter sting of love's unfair,
For you're a treasure, not for me, but held by one who holds the key.
I dare not speak, nor make a sound, for in your bliss, you're tightly bound,
I'll keep my love, a secret flame, and hope that you'll not feel my pain.

But in my dreams, I'll hold you close, the life we've lost, a fading ghost,
In realms unknown, we'll find our way, where love can soar, and hearts can sway.
Perhaps one day, another life, our souls shall meet, no strife, no strife,
In that sweet place, where love is true, I'll find you there, and start anew.

In a realm where hearts entwine, a love so pure, so divine,
Love found in your soul, a mirror of my own, a connection deep and profound,
Over the seas, across the skies, our paths diverge, but in another, one heart.
Vexed by fate, I watch you laugh, your joy a song, a melody I've craved so long,
Every touch, your tender face, I long to hold, but destiny won't change its line.

Years go by, I dare not speak, nor make a sound, for in your bliss, you're tightly bound,
On dreams alone, I'll hold you close, the life we've lost, a fading ghost,
Underneath the moon, where love is true, I'll find you there, and start anew.

In this world of black and white,
I stumbled upon a radiant light,
A beacon of hope in the midst of the fray,
Her gentle touch drove the shadows away.

Her laughter, a symphony of unbridled delight,
As we danced through our days and into the night,
In the tapestry of our lives, our threads entwined,
A kindred spirit, so rare to find.

In the depths of her eyes, I found solace,
A sanctuary, a secret oasis,
Her soul, a mirror of my own,
A truth untold, yet always known.

The colors she painted in my heart,
An iridescent work of art,
Her presence, a song that set me free,
The only one who understood me.

But fate, it seems, has a different plan,
She walks this earth with another's hand,
My heart, a secret I cannot share,
For I would never wish to ensnare.

And so, from a distance, my love shall grow,
A silent ember, a hidden glow,
I'll protect and stand by her side,
A confidant, forever her guide.

For in her happiness, I find my own,
A love unspoken, yet never alone,
In the twilight of our lives, I will remain,
A devoted friend, through joy and through pain.

I didn’t know I could find comfort in a person till I met you
you didn’t know me and I didn’t know you
two strangers intertwined between the magnetic force of our destined love
two souls, one ruling over Venus and the other mercury
we’re beautifully written
you feel like thunder and you got fire in your spirit
we’re two opposites
I’m the meadow filled with daisies and though I have the disadvantage of wildfires I’m quite beautiful
you’re on the beach at night filled with calm waves, you’re laid back and know how to make people feel welcomed
the only disadvantage you contain is your waves can become deadly when provoked
we’re perfectly imperfect
every time the rain falls you gravitate towards my mind
I carry a little piece of you wherever I go
to remind me I’m safe, I'm loved
because that’s how you make me feel
I seek refuge in your arms
and this feels like home
I could do this for hours,  days,  years,  forever if that’s fine with you
I apologize for coming off as desperate
but with you, I feel myself and yes, that’s the truth
so may your waves put off my fires when they get too out of hand
and may my fires keep you warm when you’re too cold
either way, this is something not even my beautiful words can’t describe
expect you’re the one I desire and hope that’s fine.

When you love someones whose smile lights up your world but… Yours does not do the same for them…

When you love someone whose hugs make you feel as though you are surrounded by bulletproof glass and nothing can harm you but...
To them, it is just greeting

When you love someone whose laugh and spirit bring you more joy in a second than you’ve ever had before but…
To them, you’re just laughing

When you love someone who does not love you back, you…
Laugh, and cry later
You...
Hug them like it is the last time

and you smile when you see them happy with the person they love, even though it is  not you

because when you love someone you do anything to bring them joy.

even if it destroys you.

I know her name
But not much more
that’s a shame
Because I like her candour
I relate to her
She relates to me
I like her pictures
She likes my poetry
I flirt with her on text
Her replies are teasing at best
I wonder what’s next
Hopefully, she’s impressed
I want to see her up close
But the distance is a bother
She’s become my daily dose
And I don’t want another
I like the way she talks
Her charm is subtle and upbeat
She’s got me in a deadlock
Talking to her feels bittersweet
I know we don’t stand a chance
And I was in danger
This was the circumstance
She is perfect but a near stranger

I wish I would take my own advice that I write on paper lines. These lines describe my struggle with life, why my mental health is at a all-time decline combine that with depression and time. You get someone who describes why their house is not always filled with light.

My poetic lines are masked with rhymes that disguise the ugliness I hold inside. Underneath this, I put on a kid who throws a fit and sprinkle a whole lot of sin and you get this. A man, who doesn’t understand he can’t change God’s plan even if he tried with both hands. My hands weren’t made to expand the Devil’s plan. God’s plan is to mold me into a man that can withstand the Devil’s trance.

I wish I can advance and attack instead of collapse and whither like a plant. I can’t relax when I’m constantly getting harassed by the Devil’s laughs. My future happiness are memories from my past. I wish I can redo this life and get one second chance. I want to go back, back where I surpassed all the slaps and smacks that life threw at me. I want to be what my father raised me to be. A man, who now understands that even a plant can become a branch.

I write to fight off demons that haunt me at night. Late nights when the moon is out aren’t always bright, but that’s alright. Writing is my therapy to at least gain some clarity. This works for me. These poetic lines that I write will heal my heart with time.

A rose smells soft once groomed by loving shear,
The dust that settled on this gardener’s soul
Is stirred by breathing deep the odor dear:
The offered silk smooth blanket wraps me whole,
Not freely given but by ****** price:
A finger pricked by thorn but once or twice.

Though, gardener’s blood pays not the full expense,
For “loving” shears show love by marring thee.
For those without the florist’s favor hence
Are coldly culled, denied their right to be.
The chosen thrive by cost of others’ doom;
Thus goes the tale of gardener and the bloom.

If gentle stem is pressed by nature’s breeze,
That wood is stronger by the season’s end.
And though the sun may burn or ice may freeze,
Fair nature does not seek to break or mend.

And though a tree may shade it’s neighbor shrub,
It canopies by nature, not by will.
And though the mother bird may eat the grub,
The beast would likewise die without the ****.

Nor may the viper will away it’s fangs,
Nor wolf nor dog grow flat it’s tearing jaws,
Nor spider may retire the web it hangs,
Nor lioness may glove her slashing paws.

By lawless rule does nature rule alone,
Indifferent to whom all should die or live.
If each within that space pursued their own,
By happenstance, by fate would favor give.
Yet we unnatural twist that hand of fate,
Perverting life that we did not create.

The gardener looks upon their rose to say,
"What skill is mine for crafting beauty thee?"
While nature's fair design we thus betray.
While owning life that truly aught be free.
While stealing thee from nature's very womb.
Thus goes the tale of gardener and the bloom.

A lonely heart, a stagnant soul

Searching for something to make me whole.

A broken spirit with tattered wings

Unsure of what the future brings.

Doubt it haunts me, it smiles, it leers

Despair takes rein, it neighs and it sneers.

My strength leaves me when darkness takes hold.

The walls that protect me begin to erode.

Depression and fear an arduous fight,

Slowly it creeps like shadows at night.

They shackle, they chain, they grip and they mire.

They dim my light and consume my fire.

Empty of light with no hope to cling

I scream and I shout, I cry and I sing.

But muffled sounds are all that is heard

For Anxiety is stealing every word.

Unable to breathe, still trapped in a bind.

It cripples my body, it alters my mind.

No magical pill. No mystical potion

Can help free me of these negative emotions.

Her laugh is so melodic,
it's music to my soul
I'm hoping for some miracle
I want to take her on a moonlit stroll
She's as graceful as the snowflakes,
but she knows how to have fun
I love our impromptu jokes and laughs
When I'm with her, I always win
She always makes me smile
I love when she holds my hand
She's the peace I could never find
I'm always there for her
She's always by my side
I hope our connection never ends
Her black hair falls perfectly
She's so special to me
I love when we both can't sleep
so we lay together under the stars
I've told her of my every insecurity
She loves me even in my pain
I didn't think I could love again
She's my everything

No matter how heartbroken I might be,
No matter how hurt or upset or far,
No matter how sad or fat or ugly,
No matter how deep or tender our scar,

No matter the length of time that goes by,
No matter the path that we might decide,
No matter the reason we said goodbye,
No matter the size of feelings inside,

No matter what mistakes might have been made,
No matter what we may have said while hurt,
No matter what debts need to be repaid,
No matter what, if subtle or overt,

I will always be yours.

I smiled as you threw my heart to the ground
I know it’s gonna **** me but,
When you want to talk I’ll still be around,
Wish I had just kept my mouth shut

I didn’t expect this to be easy
But I’d rather be bad than not good enough
To earn the love you’d give them freely,
Tell me, why they measure up

Did everything I didn’t say mean nothing?
What was I supposed to do?
Why doesn’t it matter what I can bring?
Why doesn’t it matter how much I love you?

A prisoner of warmth.
Trapped in this cell of anxiety.
With a blind warden.
One who cannot see the prisoner.
Yet talks to the god as if it is nothing
Your golden hair that flows and curls.
The demeanor that rips sympathy from me.
Your unprecedented kindness.
It all brings my heart to a still.
And my mind at ease
Is it love?
A simple admiration of beauty?
I do not know.
I simply feel like I’m drowning.
Drowning in this silence.
Drowning in my fear
In this dark void.
That I float in despair.
You are my beacon.
My hope.
My brilliant star that I wish to pluck.
The star that I love
And I always will

Now, who the **** would ever be a poet?
What leaves a man or woman so dissolute
To write in verse and then to freely show it
Rather than be embarrassed as they ought

Perhaps their parents didn’t raise them right
Their fathers didn’t beat them as they should
There’s plenty pleasant ways to waste a life
But poetry does no one any good

It doesn’t heal the sick, nor raise a smile
And poems don’t land people on the moon
Wherever men are doing work worthwhile
There’s rarely ever poets in the room

Most any fool who owns a pen and a paper could
Write verse, but there’s no pride so seek no praise
For most folks know that doesn’t mean you should
But poets, they can’t help but act depraved

The night can be livelier than day sometimes
The darkness can be brighter sometimes
There's hope in stillness of night
For those who don't belong otherwise
In which lies the flaws of society
The perfectly structured flaws

There's a heavy silence that lay in darkness of night
like a wet blanket on surface of earth
A blanket in which you can crawl and hide;
In silence which you can almost hear
In silence that unhinges people
In silence that keeps them sane

Graveyards are just like gardens,
If a garden is in reverse.
For beneath the tombstone markers and the green grass above,
Graveyard beds hold fester like a glove
There’s an overgrowth of decay where the corpses lie down,
And where bodies flower with maggots and tree root crowns.
They bear scarlet fruit, rot-sweet in death,
And swarm with green where they’ve since lost their breath.
There’s life waiting once one falls from the hearse,
Because graveyards are just like gardens,
If a garden is in reverse.

There is a path we all must walk that isn't set in stone
staring down the empty path I start to feel alone
I make my way down the path around each bend and curve
cause here the path is the master and all on it must serve
Any direction that I look it all becomes a blur
Except for when I stare ahead and what I see is her
A fellow traveler along this path I did not think to see
A woman that looked ageless yet familiar to me
Step by step, inch by inch, I'm finally on my way
thinking all the while of what it is I'll say
Could it be that we were meant to find each other here
Or maybe it's a mistake to want to get so near
Midnight Black is the color of her falling hair
Matching how I feel inside but I know she won't care
The closer that I get to her she starts to turn her back on me
when I take a step back she turns her face so I can clearly see
The pain on her face tells me all I need to know
And what I see inside her eyes tells me that I need to let her go
There is a path we all must walk that isn't set in stone
Time to walk a new path even if it means alone