I patiently waited for the day I'd get over you
It's finally here and I feel great
A lot of people and places contributed to this
I needed this and prayed for this
I can't wait to see what else the world has to offer
I don't want to see another day personally but I do have a life that I am responsible for and I need to take care of that
I need to build a stronger version of myself and become happier
I need to see me in a different light
I need to become my own best friend again
I missed me so much

You lay strapped to a hospital bed
I want you to come home and smile again
Before the chemicals, before all of this
I'm still sitting by the telephone just to hear you say:
"I'm sorry that you're scared to live another day alone inside of my head
Pills do nothing, just like my friends
My long sleeve shirts are still stuck to my skin"

Yes I am old enough to understand what happened
But do I want to accept what has happened
I remember I couldn't grasp it
Now that I remember it, it doesn't make sense
I understand but my brain chooses to scatter it
It's not fair
Things have changed
Things have changed
Things have changed
Now we are sitting here trying to make sense of all the issues
The issues that have been poured onto me
The issues that have made me me
I don't get it but I got it
I will keep going even though it's a mess
I will keep going
I do not want to accept what needs to be accepted but here we are

Not many people stood by me during my grief
And for that I will forever feel comfortable with doing me
I hope they do not expect much from me
If only they saw me
Doubled over missing you
Holding onto memories too
Trying to live life they way you would
Hoping and praying things got better
They got worse
I had to sit in a bad place for a while
The only thing keeping me going was your smile
I swear it won't fade
I hope you realize that you are still loved
And for you my sister, I am never giving up
I will chase until I am dead

There is a fire that dances in my chest
Holding on to my heart it knows you best
Everything I do is for you and for my son
I want to see us win
It feels like we won
You are always with me no matter what
I get up and I fight for you and for my baby
I get up and repeat this on a daily
You are the sweetest and you are the coolest I wish that things could have been different with you and your world
I introduced you to mine and you adored it but decided it otherwise
I remember thinking I wasn't good enough to save you but that wasn't the case
The poison was just so deep in your veins that you couldn't help but let it stay because the moment you tried to release it, you got sicker and weaker
Your world depended on it and I had to stay away but that is the game of life we can choose to leave or to stay

I remember your little lungs struggling so hard to breathe
You were brand new, a few days, in fact three
You let it be known that you were hungry and wanted to cuddle you wanted to hold me
I was up all night making sure you were still breathing
Protecting that sweet smile from evil
That is all I did and will continue to do
You love me and I love you

evolve or stay the same
I didn't get the chance to do the things I loved because the spirit of depression was so strong
I prayed it away and was able to live another day
When I found out about my powers I shared them with others
They were confused
I now know to keep them to myself and let the world unfold in front of me
Taking apart the sky
Piece by piece
Not ever understanding poetry
I guess I could educate myself
Figure out how they dress
How they talk
What they listen to
I will be less like me and be more like you because I deserve to live a long happy life
No matter what I tell the others I too have a dream
I will feed that dream no matter what it takes
I will do what brings a smile to my sons face