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May 2014 · 837
Untitled
Bianca May 2014
You are my worst heartbreak,
the one I talk about the most;
The one I didn’t have,
but wish I hadn’t lost.
Nov 2013 · 917
forgiveness
Bianca Nov 2013
I lost count of the nights you waste just reconnecting the stars
and retracing the steps you took that led you to where you are now.

You are here, with me.
It’s 3 o’clock in the morning and you are here, with me.
It’s 3 o’clock in the morning and you are crying,
and you are here, with me.

It’s 3 o’clock in the morning and never have I wanted to
dig your flesh so badly, to see if you still had it in you.
To see if you’re still as strong as the woman who
dismembered me that night I saw her crack a smile.
Never have I wanted to fall apart.

But now, you crave for love like the flowers
I carelessly planted in our backyard,
"you’re the worst gardener," you said.

and you were right.

Still, you loved me just the same;
you loved me all too well.
you loved loving more than the gods
loved reminding me to be gentle and kind.

I tried loving you just as much.
I really did.

But now, it’s 3 o’clock in the morning
and you are here with me and you are crying,
like an empty vessel waiting,
wanting to be filled.

It’s 3 o’clock in the morning,
and you are here with me,
and you are crying,
and you are empty,
forgive me.
Nov 2013 · 468
Hello, Summer
Bianca Nov 2013
Hello, Summer
you kiss my tears away,
just to leave me for the day.

Hello, Summer
the way you held my hand;
your thumb circling mine,
and all our little trip
from one train station to another;
and theater number six;
how could I not fall for those eyes?

Hello, Summer
if you love me, please tell me;
if you don’t, don’t give me reasons
to stay.
Nov 2013 · 378
Untitled
Bianca Nov 2013
Build my hopes up—
taller than those
buildings that set
themselves apart
from the sky;

And when I see you
in the morning, I would
tell you I love you;

I would tell you
how I've fallen so hard
from the tower you've
built entirely for me
that I could barely stand
on my own, and that

your cure would be
the only thing I need
in this world where
cures would often count
as a step closer
to one’s death;

and you would refuse,
like how you always do.
Bianca Nov 2013
Stop. Stop it right there.
It’s for the best that you’re not here at all.
It’s for the best that you won’t call me anymore.
It’s for the best that distance would grow like
flowers in between our souls.

You see, I fell for you,
the moment you said my name.
How could you not have seen that?
How could you not have figured it out?
From that moment, and from this very moment,
right here, where we stand;

And the in-between, from the reckless kisses
you planted like time bombs ticking against my skin;
I’ve mistaken them for flowers and light feathers;
they seemed so innocent as your blank stares,
but never have I been so wrong.

And the drunken poetry I left bare before you?
Like my skin you thought you rightfully owned?
How could you not have fallen for my honest words?

And then somebody told me, but not soon enough;
you kissed another girl, but this time
the kisses weren't time bombs, with the intention
of destructing a heavy heart;
This time, with her, the kisses were gentle;
They were pure. And knowing you,
you don’t always speak the truth.

And then you asked me last night,
"Do you love me?" I said no,
not at all; well, I love you, yes.
But I love everyone.

That makes us both liars, then.

So stop, please, stop it right there,
How many lies do you have
hidden like sharp blades
beneath your tongue?
Because I already ran out of excuses
not to love you in the morning,
And I might not make it through the night.

At least let me make it through the night.
Nov 2013 · 469
Untitled
Bianca Nov 2013
I wish I scraped my knees for the times I would care,
for the times I would wonder if you’re already home,
safe and sound, just watching your favorite show.

I wish my nose bled for the the times I would miss you,
when I check my phone or my email, hoping you’d ask
how I've been doing, when you barely care at all.

I wish I get wounded for the times my heart would
skip a beat whenever you say hello,
whenever you ask me to hang out with you,
whenever you hold my hand, whenever you kiss me,
whenever you look me in the eyes, and tell me
you love me, because we both know what it means.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

That word haunts me all the time, you see.
Like an unwanted visitor banging at my door
at 2 o’clock in the morning.

And the truth is, my head has gotten
the hang of it; it mastered every ounce of hurt
until it got used to the sound of your heart
beating for another, a broken symphony,
the saddest serenade.

but my heart hasn't.
It keeps on coming back to you,
no matter how often you break me.
Nov 2013 · 441
Untitled
Bianca Nov 2013
Darling, I know,
I’m nowhere near perfection,
I’m as far from it as
the stars are from the sea—
I break my bones,
I even scrape my knees—
But still, would you be
kind enough to hang with me?

Darling, I’m nowhere
near happy, I’m as sad as the songs
I’ve been playing endlessly;
But still, would you be kind enough
to be lonely for a while, along with me?

Darling, you could be cruel,
leave me in the morning
without any warning;
But for tonight,
just stay with me.
Nov 2013 · 430
radical
Bianca Nov 2013
I guess I’ll never know
what makes the three letters
of your name seem so special
that they make my heart
skip numerous beats
whenever I see them
all around me—
carved on trees,
posted on walls,
I’d act as if it was a call-
that somewhere, somehow,
you miss my aching soul.

And I’d carefully write you down,
spilling ink on any paper—
as if you were a prayer
I’ll never learn to speak.

All you are
is what makes me
want you more,
all you are
is radical.
Nov 2013 · 2.4k
if you were a flower
Bianca Nov 2013
If you were a flower
I wouldn’t mind staring at you
from time to time, and watch
you grow, and maybe
shed a few petals;
for I know you’ll still
remain as lovely as can be.

If you were a flower
I wouldn’t pick you up
and see you slowly die
in my arms; I would let you
be, just like how your
smile was made for
the world to see—
"here I am, here I am,
you belong with me.”

If you were a flower
and if I were a butterfly;
I’d stay away, as far as
possible; for I know
I wouldn't be bold enough
to come closer,
nearer, nearer;
to know if you would need me
just as badly as I need you.
Nov 2013 · 314
Untitled
Bianca Nov 2013
I thought if I remembered you often,
I’d get you out of my system-
like how the trees shed their leaves
once autumn arrives right at my doorstep;

But never have I been so wrong in my life.

I looked at the mirror this morning to find you
still clinging to my frame as if you were a part of me;
your fingers still caressing my hair,
your smell still hanging in the air;

your lips still pressed against mine;
your smile's still imprinted at the back of my mind.

a thousand miles away, you haunt me still.
you’re still everywhere.

leave me alone.
Nov 2013 · 395
Untitled
Bianca Nov 2013
I try so hard to pick up the pace you’re in;
but you end up setting fire all around
just so I could feel your pain.

you smoke cigarettes behind the courtyard
once you told me  you’ve stopped;
all your cryptic words confuse me,
causing my mind to drop.

Here’s to all your mistakes
piled to become your
biggest regret-

I could never rest my heart
not knowing where
yours truly lie.
Nov 2013 · 280
L
Bianca Nov 2013
L
Midnight calls, aimless strolls,
holding hands, parting souls;
I find no color in it all.

You’re merely my favorite
place to hide whenever the world
gets too sad for me to wander alone;
I love how you put on
my favorite smile of yours.

You’re the vessel of all my regrets
of all my fears and all my secrets;
you've seen me at my worst.
You manage to hold it all in.

You manage to
keep me still.

Never have I found
a friend in anyone
but you.
Nov 2013 · 357
Untitled
Bianca Nov 2013
You know me well enough to realize that I am no longer
a fan of love stories and happy endings,
and sunrise; and foreseeing the future with a lover by my side.

I even write poems for all the lovers I lost;
and counting—
As I carelessly held them like pebbles in my hand.
Until I am left with none.

I take notes of all my frustrations,
All my fears and all the demons
I encounter in my sleep;
And write them down,
As if they are gems I needed
To keep.

And in the end we all look for someone just as broken
as we are; for we all want less
broken souls around us; that’s when I found you.

I found your loving eyes
across the dimly-lit room;
You opened me up when
nobody could.

This is no longer a poem
of a girl crying out for help;
this is a poem of a girl
who found a home in you.
Nov 2013 · 330
Untitled
Bianca Nov 2013
Please, take time to see through me;
see through my skin.
Am I enough now?
Am I what you need?

Please, stop running away
and breathe me all in;
until nothing’s left of me.
Do I make you feel alive?
Or do I make you bleed?

Never have I screamed so loud
to be noticed, my dear, I’m usually
the type who goes away;

But let’s just
put it this way:

I am merely a flower
you never bothered to pick;
because there are others
more pleasant
and less broken
than me.
Nov 2013 · 328
Untitled
Bianca Nov 2013
I thought there was more to feel
than the feeling of emptiness
whenever I’m not holding your hand
and whenever you’re holding hers;

You filled every void of my wounded soul,
and in the end I just needed you there.

I needed you to stay—
wherever the gaps lie.
Even if you belong
with her.
Nov 2013 · 819
unforgettable
Bianca Nov 2013
You left a mark on my lips
with the kiss I would forever keep;

you left traces of your fingers
around my waist and down my spine;

and you also left a few scars
along the fine lines of my heart.

You will no longer
be forgotten.
Nov 2013 · 341
Untitled
Bianca Nov 2013
We were talking so sweet
Under the warm, cozy sheet;
We were alone, and we had to go
somewhere far away.

We laid there as he
held my hand carelessly,
Tick, tock,
"I have to go home."

And he kissed me,
and begged for me to stay,
and I did; never have I
wanted to stay
in my life.

I stared at him,
his sweet smell
allover the room;
never have I
adored someone
else’s eyes.

For so long, we laid,
He twirled my hair with
his fingers; kissed me hard,
and wrapped his arms
around my waist.
Tick, tock,
"I have to go home."

And I kissed him back,
eyes closed;
my whole body
quivering before his;
"Do you love me?"
"I do."
"You can’t."
"I know, I know."
Nov 2013 · 379
Untitled
Bianca Nov 2013
This love throws me into a deep sea of confusion;
We just go in circles -- you fall out, I will try,
and when I go, again, you reel me in;
just to cut my strings once more.
such a shame, the state we are in.
And no one’s left to blame but me.

Darling, I will try
not to love you
anymore.
Nov 2013 · 618
unspoken
Bianca Nov 2013
I could write all things I know

from the scar beside your lips,
to the dimple on your left cheek;
how you don’t like going to places,
and would rather stay at home.

I could think of all our secrets

and set them all on fire,
by merely writing them down;
revealing us to the world,
for everyone to see
how broken we truly are.

I could write all things that made me fall for you,

how I loved our short hugs,
and our conversations;
and how I missed you
when I shouldn't.

But in the end,
I would like you to know
everything there is
my heart has been dying
to show.

We are the loveliest thing ever unspoken;
And I loved you so much,
how I wish you felt it, too.

You have been my sweetest
and my hardest fall-
And it’s tragic how something
could be both.

Darling, please remain as broken
and as lovely as you are now.

Take care.
Nov 2013 · 622
unbreakable
Bianca Nov 2013
He counts all my scars,
And ignores all my fears;
Holds me ever so tightly,
enough for me to bleed.

He throws his favorite questions,
the ones I always misread;
He drowns me out like water,
enough for me to plead.

But darling, we are not in love.
And we never will be.

But everything, everything-
everything you say,
everything you do,
that would make my heart
skip numerous beats;
everything I wished for,
and everything you would
soon regret.

everything, everything,
would tower out
like pillars in my heart;

I swear you and I
in my memory;
you and I, we’ll be
unbreakable.
Bianca May 2013
When will I love again, the way I used to love you?
Darling, I used to be so sweet, so bright, so new;
When I fell for your eyes, and you fell for me, too-
When will I love again, the way I used to love you?

I used to walk in circles, and you used to be a stranger
You caught my eye, and I should have known better
Than to be blinded by the right words you uttered
But still, I stood before you in complete surrender.

I always thought love was enough to mend all things
So I gave love, tried, in the midst of my heavy breathing;
As I saw remnants of my pride; there, I slowly caved in
And in that moment, love just felt like any other feeling.

I gave up and slowly built my shattered pride
Like walls around my chest, great enough for me to hide;
Strong enough for the strongest tide;
After countless times of loving and giving, I died.
May 2013 · 480
X
Bianca May 2013
X
I’m afraid to lay a hand on him
or leave any mark on his delicate skin;
because I know how much I could hurt
and he’s too precious to include
from all the lovers I had lost.

How I wish you could see well
the picture I’ve been trying to paint;
No. I could not play my fate with him-
I can’t afford to hurt his innocent eyes.

We speak the same language
and sing the same songs
and write the same poems
about love and how love could hurt.

I could just do it allover again
Do everything wrong and then hide;
And forget and start at once
But, no, not this time, not to him.

I told him once,
“I’m the worst person to fall in love with.”
And he asked me why.

It’s as simple as translating constellations
and solving an endless riddle;
Nothing’s ever clear when it comes to
loving and being loved by me.
Apr 2013 · 251
Untitled
Bianca Apr 2013
I am too much
to be bottled
or pinned;

I am too little
to be kept
safe and unseen.
Apr 2013 · 727
Untitled
Bianca Apr 2013
I love you
I love your inconsistency,
I love how you ruin my day
and make it up to me
when the moon starts to show.

I love you, I love you, all of you;
All of what's left, and all of what
you could become in the future;
all the scars on your skin
making you lovelier than ever.

I love how you bleed and
how you could hold onto the thorns
that consumed me; I love your innocence
and your childish needs.

I love your mistakes and
our constant arguments,
I love you, I love you being there.
I love how you see me
when I'm at my prettiest;
and when all my troubles build
like walls around my chest;

and you'd sit, you'd stay,
you'd watch, you'd know,
what makes me tick,
what makes me grow,
what makes me run,
what makes me want you more;
I love you, from the surface
down to the core;
I love you,
with all my aching soul.
Apr 2013 · 323
Untitled
Bianca Apr 2013
It was that easy, really-
he loves me with all his
crooked, fragile heart-
But it was something,
Something I could not
bear with my dying soul-
still aching, still lost.

But still, lead him on, lead him on,
He is a friend, and in the end,
no one wants to be alone;

He loves me, for who I'm not,
And it's okay; he is a friend,
and I can't let him go.
Apr 2013 · 374
The Animal Was Gone
Bianca Apr 2013
I woke up a little late just to find out that
the animal was gone;
he left the sheets tussled
along with the smell of cigarettes
still stained in my mouth.

But we made love the other night;
He made the stars look bigger
and brighter than ever;
how could he just leave me
With no hint of forever?

But I loved him; I loved him, I loved him;
I loved him to his core; I loved his heavy breathing;
I loved him even more than the flowers love the rain-
For accepting every ounce of pain-
I loved him just enough to let him go.
Apr 2013 · 452
Memories Are Cruel
Bianca Apr 2013
Remembering once became my only friend;
But memories got cruel because now,
you're a part of them.

You wore your grey shirt
along with the poems I wrote for you;
You wore your pleasant smile
disguising blatant thoughts behind you.

You sat beside me, saying,
"I can no longer be your lover"
because love only fades,
as far as I could remember.

And I lay here crying,
thinking of the words I could have said;
to make it all sound better-
But to a memory, you quickly faded.
Apr 2013 · 442
Ed
Bianca Apr 2013
Ed
Your loving words-
they poison my veins
until they consume me
and leave me untamed

Your voice-
it sends shivers
down my spine
and leaves me hanging
down the line

You may not know me
for we’re worlds apart
but you changed the beating
of my heart
Apr 2013 · 301
Take The Boy
Bianca Apr 2013
Take the boy with his innocent eyes
that stare knowingly at you.

Take the boy with his heart still sown
tightly upon his sleeves.

Take the boy with his dream of being yours-
to your own state of mind.

Show him how your love
could hurt him so.
Apr 2013 · 379
The Art Of Seeing
Bianca Apr 2013
I hope you could see the way I see you.
With your luminescent smile that could light up a room.
Your eyes, as they twinkle, would make their way in me-
Would pull me in closer, closer- until I fall so easily.

I hope I could see the way you see me.
With my mouthful of words and strange being.
Would you even care to take one glance, one look?
At this girl, with her unfathomable thoughts and hues.
Apr 2013 · 561
Faceless Man
Bianca Apr 2013
Hello, faceless man
where have you been?
I dreamt of you
and your skin against my skin.

All I could think of
is how real you would taste
How far could I go?
How far will it take?

Because all that’s left
are disfigured pictures of you;
of the faceless man
I never knew.
Apr 2013 · 348
Untitled
Bianca Apr 2013
She lives in a place
No one has ever been
A place she calls her own
A place hidden; unseen.

Do you wish to enter?
Do you wish to know?
What lies beneath her
She would never show

The place at its finest
Just for you-
Dark beneath the surface
No sign of other hues

Welcome to her mind
A clamorous place she would lay
Until the night would grow colder,
Colder once again.
Apr 2013 · 509
She
Bianca Apr 2013
She
With just one glance, she had me fixated
Locked me up with her love, I was captivated
She made me dance, she made me sing
She made love seem worth everything

She was one above all
She was the brightest star at nightfall
She could turn bitter into sweet
She was complicated; the hardest to read

She had me under her skin
Her spell bound words had me aching
To me, she is a rose
A thing of beauty; until you feel her thorns

And with just enough time, she pulled my strings
she let me go, without any warning
she said it would hurt, the love she was giving
she proved to me that love was worth nothing
Apr 2013 · 422
Alice
Bianca Apr 2013
I pictured you with the moonlit sky
He would look upon just to see you shine
I pictured you with the warmest smile
His fingers would trace; I wish it was mine

I wonder what made him love you so
Enough that when you let him go
He turned pain into the loveliest words;
Lovely words that made me ache for more
Apr 2013 · 515
Broken Glass
Bianca Apr 2013
I could still remember the time
when your bones found a friend with mine
How swiftly those moments change
How things fell into place; just to suddenly rearrange

I remember how I loved the way you love me
how you tell your jokes and I would laugh easily
How you told me I looked pretty when I wore that blue dress
How you revealed your flaws as if they made me love you less

I remember how we would stay up all night on the phone
And talk about everything under the sun until it shone
talk about our future, how we wouldn’t let it go
How we would buy a green house and have children of our own

How lovely it is to remember such things
And yet, how painful it is to reminisce
How in the coming days, there’s nothing left to do but shatter
Those memories like broken glass; as if it didn’t matter
Apr 2013 · 956
Oh, Love
Bianca Apr 2013
Oh love, you made me a fool
With your condescending ways
You make yourself seem so sweet
but what hurts the most
Is what lies beneath you

Oh love, you are cruel
you made me cry buckets of tears
and there you are you act as if
you did no wrong

Oh love, I would learn
every part of you; I would read
between your every line
your ups and downs
your twists and turns

Oh love, please be gentle
Oh love, you made me
who I am today
Apr 2013 · 407
Yesterday & Now
Bianca Apr 2013
You were easy to love, Yesterday
You would kiss me and hold me
and see through me like I was everything
you needed

You made me feel like I was the sun,
the moon, the stars that filled up
your void.

You are hard to love, Now
Your void gets
harder and harder to fill
But I love you, and I
would learn to love you until you
become the Yesterday I once
knew
Apr 2013 · 685
Kisses
Bianca Apr 2013
I could have loved the kisses
you leave on my cheeks
and on my lips;
I could have adored the way
your lips meet with my neck
along with your heavy breathing;
but I chose to love
the way you kiss my hand;
that tender feeling whenever they land
upon my skin, as it spreads to my whole being;
oh, the most innocent kiss you could ever give
could send my heart and soul as your captive
Apr 2013 · 273
Untitled
Bianca Apr 2013
For so long
I’ve tried to see
the way you see
the stars at night

For so long
I’ve mastered your
every breath
and every step

For so long
I’ve been with you;
Your darkness
and your light

For so long
I’ve been in love
And like this
I would stay
Apr 2013 · 340
Untitled
Bianca Apr 2013
Something tells me
We’ve been here before
Darling, life was never fair
In this ground we call home

We love and we hurt
Until it reaches our core
We hurt, still we love
until we cry a little more

But I’d rather hurt
A million times more
Than have someone else
To love and adore
Apr 2013 · 408
Sad Songs
Bianca Apr 2013
Been listening to sad songs
more often than before
maybe they’d make me feel okay
If I listen to them once more

But instead they make me feel
woeful than ever
Paint my life blue and grey
Run your brush until I shiver
Apr 2013 · 556
Making Love
Bianca Apr 2013
they made love under fine and ragged sheets
in dreadful past and unknown future;
they made love with their lips and hands and eyes
and in the fine air that hung between them;
they made love under the moonlit stars
in each other’s love, they died;
and tasted heaven for a while, for a while
Apr 2013 · 426
The Lady In Red
Bianca Apr 2013
The lady in red cried the other night
Didn’t want to be this way but wiped her cheeks dry
Told herself, “Tonight is the night I’d shine bright,
Like the stars and the pale moonlight.”

Put on the outfit that would rather leave her bear
Pull off a good show for all the men out there
Tonight is the night she’d shine
Brighter than the stars and the pale moonlight

The lady in red danced with the clouds
Higher she went as the music shook the ground
Tonight was the night she shined above the rest
As he touched her and said, “Darling, you’re the best.”
Apr 2013 · 378
I Loved You
Bianca Apr 2013
I loved you just as much
As I love to gaze under the stars
and turn them into my own
private constellations

I loved you just as much
As I adore books,
their every page
turning me into what
I want to be

I loved you just as much
As I enjoy the sun on my cheek
As if the burning sensation
made me feel alive

I loved you just as I love
to make words mean more
than what they seem

I loved you.
Apr 2013 · 788
Letting Go
Bianca Apr 2013
I’ve been wasting my time
calling out your name
calling this a silly game
we’ve been playing

I’ve been wasting my time
tracing the path we’ve once been in
letting go of this feeling
sounds harder than it seems

Tell me where do i go from here?
from the place I’ve called home
from the place I’ve always known
from the heart I once belonged

I’ve been wasting my time
pacing back and forth
loving you then letting go

but the hardest feeling
is not knowing how to feel
forget the lies you once believed in
I loved you, to the moon and back
and back is where I’m at
I’m letting go
Apr 2013 · 598
Future Love
Bianca Apr 2013
You are the dream I am currently weaving on my mind,
like the finest cloth that would
keep me warm on a rainy day.
You’d give me something that would make
my cheeks turn the brightest of red;
lovely poems that could last for eternity,
rather than flowers that promise love for
infinite years, but wither in time.
We would both lie down under the twinkling stars
and refrain from stretching out our hands before them,
because finally, the stars heard us, heard me;
because they know how I’ve been wishing for you
and how I’ve been longing for you;
right now, all I could think of is how real you would become
and how right you would be for me
and how in time, you could save me
after all the things I’ve done;
after time keeps doing itself justice;
after the world has made me love a little less;
after I've wished to never love again
Apr 2013 · 451
He Stained My Skin
Bianca Apr 2013
He stained my skin with his darkest dream--
I remember it well; how he whispered forever to my ears,
How we shared a piece of heaven in this hell we live in.

I remember it well; how I danced into the room
wearing the sweet smell of his perfume;
he’d tell me his darkest dream
and whisper the words he once used;
making it sound less than it seems

And again I’d let him kiss my skin;
just to stain it once more.
Apr 2013 · 286
Living
Bianca Apr 2013
The hardest part about living
is knowing that you have to be

cut, bruised,
stabbed, and broken a
million times more
just to be reminded

that you’re alive
Apr 2013 · 435
Beyond Its Lies
Bianca Apr 2013
I love the idea of endings,
of death, of rain,
and destruction—
not because I’ve
drowned into
complete solitude
and hopelessness;
but because I see
the world clearly
beyond its lies
Apr 2013 · 341
You Get The Best Of Me
Bianca Apr 2013
You get the best of me
whenever your shadow appears
And I know you love her
and I am his missing piece;
but everytime you leave
and whenever your shadow appears
over and over again;
you get the best of me
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