A drag across the skin
Barely a mark
When the it takes place
But the release is golden
Like exhaling
After being underwater
A moment of euphoria
To feel so alive
Human again
Almost normal
The prickles succumb
Tomorrow
I’ll addrss the aftermath
I’ll clean it up
Maybe a bandaid
As I retreat
Back to me

When we were 17
You didn’t notice me

When we were 17
You were awkward

When we were 17
I was chubby

When we were 17
We worked together

When we were 50
You found me

When we were 50
You put me on a pedestal

When we were 50
You fell in love with me

When we were 50
You were my best friend

When we were 50
You broke my heart

When we were 50
You moved on

When we were 50
I still felt 17

You know
What you need to do
The time has come
Please don’t be afraid

You know
What the cliches say
Life is short
You should be happy

You know
What the past has been
Can you continue
To live that way

You know
The first step is so hard
Leap in faith
This life is yours

Tonight
I hate you

Tonight
There are others

Tonight
They want me

Tonight
I will succumb

Tonight
Someone other

Tonight
You don’t matter

What is it
That made me
Love you
I lowered my defenses

What is it
That held me
Steadfast in you
I lost myself

What is it
That sustains me
Content in love
I let go of fear

What is it
That knows already
Forever isn’t ours
I retreat in fear

What is it
That I can’t move on
Your words hurt
I still love you

I’m the girl
You call
For a good time
I’ll never meet your mom

I’m the one
You tell your secret
In the dark night
I’ll never know your light

I’m the piece
You use to satisfy
Your lonely night
I’ll never be more

I’m the one
You will never leave
Because your afraid
I’m the one who knows

Disdain
Boils in my blood
How does he
Not sense it
When he walks into the room?

Hatred
Oozes out my pores
How does he
Not taste it
When his lips are on my forehead?

Numbness
Keeps me still
How does he
Not feel it
When he holds me in his arms?

Contempt
Fills me now
How does he
Not know this
After all that we've been through?