Bethany

Bethany Nov 2010

I want to go home
Not to my dwelling
Where I keep my things
But to my home
Where I keep my heart
Feel love and warmth
And happiness
Where I can be with you
And share the love
I have to give you
Where the troubles of the world
Melt away by your touch
And there is a new sense of hope
That tomorrow brings better things
Where we dream of our future together
And work to make the dreams reality
Where you’re at is my home
For my home is in your heart
And yours in mine.

Bethany Oct 2010

Liberation

Its over
Done
I won’t change my mind
Fifteen years was enough
Your alcoholism
The verbal abuse
The constant fear
The wondering if you would make it home
The depression I suffered from the stress and worry
Never feeling whole or complete
No I can’t do it anymore
I want a divorce
What please stop saying it
No I can’t and won’t
My love for you died so long ago
I am wasting my life away in misery
If I stay I may not be alive tomorrow
The kids need me and I need to be there for them
I have found myself and can stand alone
For once in my life I'm ok
I know what I want and need
And it’s not you
I wish you well
Stop your crying
**** it up and be a man
You did this to yourself
You said you would stop drinking
Another of your lies
So goodbye
Oh and don’t forget you have the kids this weekend.

Bethany Oct 2010

Living For The Moment

Forget the past
The troubles and worries
The moments of happiness
The closeness shared beneath the stars

Don’t think about the future
Forget tomorrow
Don’t dream or wish
Or long for your love
Instead live for the moment

What does that mean
I'm so confused
My thoughts and feelings
Are not on a switch
They can’t be turned off
Because you say
It simply doesn’t work

In the moment
I still love you
I still want you
I still feel you
Nothing has changed
Except you running away...

Bethany Sep 2010

I Am Your Light

I feel your pain of darkness
Every time you burrow deep
Into that secluded place
Where there is no hope or light
And no way for me to get in
I want to be the light that shines for you
A beacon that guides you from the abyss
To a world that is full of color and life
Where happiness is found
And dreams can manifest into reality
You are not ****** but need to be found
I am searching for you
Follow the light I am here.

Bethany Sep 2010

One Way Ticket to Hell

Tortured mind
Thoughts of you
Hate you I can’t
Love you I do
Broken heart
Shattered soul
Can’t remember
Being whole
End it all
Take the gun
Devil's lair
Here I come
Know I loved you
To the end
Goodbye for now
Until we meet again.

Bethany Sep 2010

Flip the Coin

Day by day the confusion rises
Heartache and happiness take their turns
Happiness the mask that’s on display
While heartache looms deep within
Can I continue to wear the mask
While the heartache continues to grow
Each new day another battle
To see which emotion’s in control
Heads happiness tails heartache
Flip the coin to see which wins

Bethany Aug 2010

**** Empathy

To care so much about a person
That it costs their friendship
Isn’t that ****** up and backwards
It’s suppose to be when someone cares to little
I can’t change what I feel or sense
I wouldn’t want to feel if I had a choice
It’s just there and you can’t understand
I feel such loss but that’s alright
I can’t and won’t apologize for caring
In the end lesson learned
Be careful about letting anyone in
Moving on.