I got a postcard from the street
"I miss how you put your feet to me"
But she was always such a cheat

A ******,
            A *****,
                          A tease

And I don't expect you to understand
But, my darling, once again
My feet need to meet with their old friend

I think it's time we made amends

Everyone I meet these days
likes to ask me what I do
And I was hoping until recently
that the answer might be you
But she took my hand when Sandra Bullock fell
and then she took me home to *****
And now my moral standing stands alone

and it's contradicted, too

laid bare before you but not by your own hands
as naked now as the night i joined my soul to hers or more
i am clothed
and yet inexplicably driven to connect to you
i lay open the wounds that still gape with
holes perfect to press fingertips open into, perfect to re open
no sugar, no sweetness in my voice, no manipulation, my words barely even my choice,
choked out, almost choked out, but surviving
to make it through my throat and past my lips
teasing my eyes to tears i can barely breathe through
i am see through
and
you don't even know if i am worth getting to know
but somehow, someway i will show
you the truth
i am as worth getting to know s you.
that this nakedness is not my way of trying to get you naked
it is no ploy to gain power over your scattered, shattered heart

sit here, tempt, try lines, smiles and uncertainties,
truth tangled in the question of the why behind the reasons i
understand that you will run and hide away, but understand,
i am uncertain why but i must stay, that i can conceive
not of a single thing that could possibly make me leave you alone
i want to get to know you, break through  the way that you think that you are stone
through the cold, break through all the strangleholds
that tighten tick by tick, inch by neck bruising inch
i want to see you breathe, i want to see you set free
but tonight i feel your pain, and great though it will be
i do not leave.

I paced
I paced the entire apartment
I hadn't really felt anything.
And i worried
maybe the nothingness meant something
Like the way a nod can mean something from across the bar
Or the way a quick glance can tell the whole entire story
Or the way a text message vibrates in you pocket
Maybe the nothingness meant I had cried every tear I ever had
Or maybe it didn't
Or maybe it meant I couldn't busy myself with emotion
Like a bird to its nest
I couldn't occupy my time with tears
Maybe it meant the sound of my laughter was more important.
It was more important than kisses on the forehead
And a date to the party
Maybe it was more important than photo ops and family dinners
Maybe smiling now spoke 5,000 more words
Then any tears that had fallen then
Because freedom melts in my mouth
Because laughing rinses away tired memories
Like water hose to ***** paws
Like bees to there busy hive
My happiness pursued me
It romanced me
It took me out to fancy dinners
And dressed my face up with a smile
Maybe my happiness was my nothingness
And maybe I finally deserved it.

I was not afraid---
Merely a pass time at first

Something I enjoyed
Something that quenched my thirst

I opened my door,
Much too wide,

You were too curious,
Too not come inside

It all happened too fast,
Before it could stop

Now it's too late,
Now it is done

I could not believe,
How easily I was won

It was just too easy;
Something was bound to fall

But little did I know,
It was my own wall

And little do you know,
Of the powers I’ve endowed

I’m always on my toes
You make me feel exposed

I’m afraid,
I am afraid.

I am the crinkled corner of your lips when you smirk
The freckles on your nose blessed by the Earth
I am the glowing glint in your green eyes
Lighting up my bedroom by no surprise
I am the shiver running through your nervous bones
The raindrops on your windowsill when you’re all alone
I am the warmth in the summer breeze
Twisting through your knotted blonde locks with ease
I am the soft hand tickling your rosy cheeks
The angelic whisper singing you to sleep
I am breakfast for dinner after an endless work day
The warmth of your sheets begging you to stay
I am the lost melody to your old, favorite song
You listen to in your car with the windows rolled down
I am the sweet honeydew sprinkled on maple leaves
A springtime pleasure patched at the sewn seams
I am the peace you search for within
But for peace to initiate you need faith to begin.

Anxious feelings
Frighten your soul
A hand in search
Of something to hold
Fingers tangle
And melt in my palm
Our hearts beat
To the same lonely song