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Ben Jun 2013
only woke up this morning
to hurt myself once again
Ben Jun 2013
peel my flesh and crack my ribs
excavate my chest cavity two fists deep
a ******* futile exercise grasping for nothing
my much neglected heart has withered
shriveled turned to dust on its aortic vine
intimacy, love, a human connection
a half remembered dream it's fleeting
hold me close cause all I feel are ghosts
Ben Jun 2013
sleep deprivation and left hand love
a recipe for a night filled with self loathing
no matter the matter of cigarettes
i've killed on my arm
i still can't feel a feeling worth feeling
searching seeking self destruction

*applaud and cheer the sinking ship to
obscenely watch the dysfunctional waves ripple, grow,
rage, against this cracked and broken shore of my mind
enchanted by the beauty of the storm seductively
dragging the bodies of memories and passion
out to the deep blue sea to drown and drown
and drown again heads held under
until their souls stop screaming
Ben Jun 2013
ritual ritual
a spiritual experience
a loving addiction
familiar motions
ritual ritual
set my skin
to tingle and itch
a longing ache
ritual ritual
exorcise these
restless demons
bring long sought peace
stillness of mind
ritual ritual
an ancient tradition
needle to skin
sacred marks of
archaic power
ritual ritual
tattoo my body
a blood magic price
pain for a chance to really exist
Ben Jun 2013
save me from myself
human wreckage sinking
with ankles made of anchors
self conscious self abuse
the scars on my heart
i wear them on my sleeve
unlovable i've gone to deep
and no one wants a piece of me
drive me to distraction
while i tear apart my soul
searching for answers
to this god complex
i play with life and love
as a third person observer
and spend another night alone
writing "her" name with blood on my arm
i'm ok i promise
don't spare a second glance
i'm not worth your time
tragedy refined i'm almost cliché
bury me in apathy while i miss
the lips of emotionalism soft
just save me from myself cause
i'm trying my damnedest
to send myself to hell
help me.
Ben Jun 2013
my kitten chirps trills
meows purrs hisses squeaks speaks
arcane, cryptic, cute
Ben Jun 2013
spartan kick the fat *****
with their freshman album
hallucinogenic state of paranoia
a ******* screamo band
I will be the lead vocalist
I will take a hit of acid before each show and scream poetry while guitarist etc. play brutal ******* downtuned music behind it.
throw rager ******* shows
be like a cult band
get ******* famous
live ******* life
do drugs and be successful
stay classy kids
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