I thought I've forgotten about you already
I thought I've move on
But I was wrong
Coz every single thing I do
Only reminds me of you...

I just want to waste away
watch flesh drip from the bone
It shouldn't matter what you think
I work better on my own
"I told ya that I loved ya,
I told ya, I would care..."
soothing voices whisper,
"So will you help me hold my hair?"
How could I have ever left you?
but I forgot you hate the light
are nightmares to be my penance?
for nearly escaping from the night
sunny days ahead are fading,
and the rain will dry with time
blue skies are always changing
you are the only constant in my life.
"I'm the one you made you,
I am always there."
but darling I can't kiss you,
"and who said life was always fair?
Did I ask for an opinion?
You should have learned to hold your tongue,
look at those you drove away--
three strikes and you are done."
I want to be a human
*"You want to be a doll.
Don't tell me I don't know you,
I am your soulmate afterall."

as if frayed brushes,
broken pen nibs,
emptied paint tubes
and ***** of crumpled paper
laying haphazardly on the floor
wasn't enough to show
the lack of love
in our hearts.

we pass by each other
like ghostly strangers
with a vague notion of
familiarity.
we sleep on the same bed,
but we're not sleeping together.
we eat at the same table,
but we're not eating together.

but some nights,
i hear you let out a quiet sob
just as i turn the corner
and you don't know it,
but i've seen the tear marks
on your cheeks when you
silently crawl into bed.

Lately I feel lost
And incomplete
I feel my self evaluation
Shattering piece by piece.
The shards hurt my numb hands
As I try to pick it up
And everytime
I feel my innocence
Slowly fade inside.

Stealing defeat from the jaws of Victory.
A feat that was tall, fought for then slipped away.
The Scottish way it seems, to let it disappear.
To come so close with hands open as we near
then through our fingers we let slip another year.

Disappointed and down, we maintained a disjointed crown.
We could have swam for freedom but in the open water we drowned.
The lochs turned to black, no clock can turn back:
Freedom was for the taking, but under the pressure we cracked.  

Scaremongering, propaganda. Down right lies.
The told the feeble to stay together, and there would be a prize.
Hungering for a land. A place to call home.
They listened. Now no longer can they roam

Or swim in open waters that are their very own.
They are bound by unity yet completely alone.  

So from a foreign land I think back to the time.
when I felt a part of it. In land that was mine.
But no desire to return. The lesson I learned:
Fire always burns out. We had heart but no spine.