I dont want you,
anymore
I dont want you,
cause you I abhor,
I dont know you,
cause I was just your *****,
I dont want to keep you,
all ******* on the floor,
I wont stop you,
from walking away,
I wont help you,
ease your guilt on the way,
I wont need you,
cause youre weak, and will never stay,
I wont want you,
after you treated me that way
I wont love you,
cause youre no different today
I cant talk,
cause my words mean nothing at all,
I cant stay,
cause youre never gonna fall,
I cant try,
cause your not a man, brave and tall,
I cant lick your wounds,
because you were never a friend at all.

I crawled into your bed,
with a buzz in my head,
and a hunger, unfed.

I stretch myself across you,
the same way I always do,
not knowing if you wanted me to.

I always felt so in awe,
that you stared, but never saw,
your detachment left me raw.

Those days so long ago,
the hot summer, and cold snow,
the feelings I couldn't show.

My mind, that strings me along,
like a tragic, happily ended song,
boy, I couldn't have been more wrong.

Today things aren't the same,
you beat me at your game,
now I loathe you, it's a shame.

So I crawl into my bed,
alone, cause you want her instead,
and with a hunger, still unfed.

I'm trying not to be so crazy.
I have trouble, dwelling on things that bring me down.
How do I see tomorrow, through all those yesterdays?
I wish I was stronger, being weak all the time gets old.
I strive to control all the small things, so maybe I'll feel less out of control.
I need to be happy; happier at least.
How come and I can't just forget, or reconcile myself with what I've got?
If it would just stop hurting, even if for just a brief moment.
If this aching from my bones would just cease.
If I had it all back..

thank you for teaching me
that with great joy, comes great sorrow,
  - for every ray of sun today,
    there'll be a drop of rain tomorrow.

thank you for showing me
that some men are simple, crude and basic,
  -  most of you only want one thing,
    and will do anything to obtain it.

thank you for helping me
build a stronger, tougher wall
  - you can't get out, or let others in
    and not expect it to fall.

thank you for not trying
you're the best example of the wrong man,
  - you could know just how I feel
    and still take me for all that you can.

you just never seem to surprise me,
you're crass, filth and disgrace,
you make me sick to my stomach,
you lie right to my face,
you're poison, septic and vile,
you **** the good from all around,
you step on everyone to get ahead,
you live off bringing others down,
your world is just that, yours, but
you still don't get the right to abuse,
you have taken my fight, my heart, and mind,
you made me just something to use.

the water spins around me,
the air carries me away,
my mind, bouncing off the walls,
my heart, beats for another day.
the sky, jumps, above then below,
the gravel scraping, hurts my ears,
the world whirling around me,
the nauseous feeling of running from my fears.
my head aches from wasting all these years.

you got off pretty easy,
not left here to look for closure
no smile to wear to hide the pain
no scar to bear at the mention of your name
no tainted view of the world to change
no hatred for the people who took you away
no craving for the sleep to forever stay
no hope of living another normal day
no money will bring you back, but they should all pay
no ******* up your life, acting ******
no attempt to numb it all, light and breezy
no camouflage, so no one sees me
no you got off pretty easy